Im a single mommy of a beautiful 3 year old boy named Aidan I was with his father for 8 years and we split. I was single for a while and then I met a what I thought was a sweet guy that made me fall absolutly head over heels in love for him and I spent 300$$ and 22 hours on a but to go see him. While I was there I became pregnant again. Im 2 1/2 mths pregnant and He Left me. I Miss My sons dad but he says he can never love me again as long as I carying anothers man's child and willing to have it. I love him and want to be with him but I cant give up the baby im holding because I love and care for it so much already...Is there anybody that can help me with this terrible situation I put myself in??

Oh sure...move on...sounds like you'd be better off...cheers

i agree move on keep the baby if your ex loved you it wouldnt matter

If the 1st guy isn't willin to accept the 2nd guy's child then he didn't love you to begin with. Move on, hun. Enjoy your pregnancy for the beautiful thing that it is. If you weren't meant to have the child then you would have never gotten pregnant. I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you guys I Really do appreciate it

If he really loves you then he should accept any situation that comes up. cuz true love will conquer all. and if he is not willing to accept that- then good riddance to bad rubbish

I would listen to the great advice already in this thread.

But one other detail, this is not something you want to hear from strangers, but . . . . contraception can prevent these kinds of situations.

I have no clue how you became pregnant and its non of my business so take my advice with a grain of salt, and if it doesn't apply, then ignore it.

what have you decided to do?

keep the baby?

keep the baby daddy?

There are fantastic family planning counselors. And remember, sometimes loving a child so much means loving them enough to let them go. (Adoption). Keep in mind this is a kind, loving, and wonderful option. Keep your mind open to all options available.

Only you can decide what's right because you're the one that has to live with your decision. My advice is don't go back because your scared or upset. If the reason why you left still applies then you'll find someone better.

You alone decided to be pregnant with a second guy's child before he commited to you in marriage. Now you have to live with the consequences alone. It sounds harsh but right now you don't need anyone candy coating things.

You are definitely in a tough spot because I believe you are being ridiculos to think either of these loosers are going to step up and be anything remotely close to someone worthy of loving, being a life partner, or a parent.

Saying that if someone loved you that they would accept and cope with this mess is streaching the truth a little bit; h-ll a lot. Even a well gounded, mature, and caring man would have a tough time copeing with such a complicated situation. You have betrayed, or at least ended, two relationships with a child involved at this point. Maybe that is your fault maybe it is not but that is what a guy has to deal with going in with you and your instant family. He is going to figure you will do the same to him. So he is going to take a while to develope a relationship if he has a brain in his head.

Right now you are scared, emotional, hormonal, desperate, and overwhelmed and I doubt could make a good choice in a man if your life depended on it. And believe me it might well depend on it. If you pick another bad one your children's lives might depend on it. That isn't picking on you personally at all. It is acknowledgeing you are in CRISIS. You have to THINK and ACT not Re-ACT. Comeing here is not a bad idea, friends can often have a cooler head.

While you are pregnant I would strongly urge you to acknowledge that your body/mind is already on overload and you probably are NOT going to be able to make good life decisions on your own. For that reason I would seek out a trusted older family member, or friend, or licensed agency to help you meet your families care needs while you are pregnant. Someone who is sober, stable, and does not have a vested interest in taking your child and infant are who I would recommend.

One of the best programs that I have seen Nationally is FAMILY PROMISE. You can look them up on the web. It is a comprehensive support program for family's with National oversite that protects you from being exploited. They will get you emergency shelter and then move you to permenant shelter. They can help you find daycare, employment, medical care, transportation, home furnishings, and education if you need it or hang on to what you have. There programs usually have highly skilled professionals and lay persons to help you and respect your dignity. Life will not instantly become easy but it will be more manageable. From the people I have met in the program they would be the person I would turn to in an emergency. With them you will see what real love and good family relationships are about.

That is not ruleing out adoption or foster care as an option for either or both children but you seem very impressionable and I would not like to see you bullied into anything because you are having such a tough time.

I hope you will be able to put your chin up, shoulders back, and remember that everyone can make choices in life that are not that well thought out but can be sorted out and re-directed to be good decisions.

That you want to find love and give love is not a bad thing. You just need to polish up your skills on finding someone worthy of your love and the privilege of being in your families life.

They are out there. Guys who want kids, even kids they haven't or can't father but they are few and far between and are not likely to fall in your lap without a great deal of searching and observing to see if they are the real deal and You are the real deal.

You probably have some serious alone time ahead of you and I wish I could reach through this computer and hug you because I know how that feels. But I promise it won't kill you and the time will pass quicker if you just let it happen.

Good luck. Sending you prayers.

Terrible situation. Unbelievable. Twice in one day. I'll probably get back to this thread after I kill a few cue balls but really. The only thing terrible about this situation is the attitude.

Keep the baby, lose the guy.

hey there,

your post really made my blood boil. i cannot believe that low life left you once he found out you were pregnant is really unacceptable, i hope he never makes any women fall head over heels again. im sorry about your situation.

and in away regarding your ex husband you'll know him better than anyone, and perhaps you knew what to expect when he found out you were pregnant, but saying that hes put you in a predicament where its never going to work out between youse, i really do think you aught to take the biggest step so far and move on, and find someone you can love just as much and appreciate you for who you are and what you have. because we all deserve the best.

good luck

nothing can be decieved less it is first looking for something, so looking out THERE FOR LOVE, will only bring "illusions" of love?

to decide what is MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU, as if NO OTHER HUMAN WERE ALIVE, and none other existed but you, will allow the blame and shame to fall away, and your own heart to lead you, as these are only but a game that lead to demise for anything that perpetuate them.....

advice as to come certain BEST action will only lead you to hiding yourself from yourself, that see only self is there to bear all it's own actions, when all the words "wished to be heard" are long gone.......

to seek out and know one's own limitations cannot ever come seeking to find something, UNTIL ONE TOTALLY KNOW WHAT THEY WANT, and the light be most green when one FIRST know WHAT ITSELF WANT, not what is right or wrong, as these are subjective and opinion unto infinity always, so will only confuse as infinity naturally does any brain.........

if one think of it as the mind is the dangler of the "carrot of ideas" of what will make happy, and the heart is the wise sage that FIRST PROPELL ONESELF MAGICALLY INTO THE SCENARIO, and as a true prophet, see all the potentials of each thing, and if ALL THESE SEEN ARE TAKEN AS IF THEY ARE ALREADY TRUE, then one knows more easily what itself REALLY WANT........

the mind will SAY ALL THINGS ARE SIMPLE, while the heart will see true reality is it's own limitations and wisely heed them......

the world is constant actions to infinity, and so then having possible definitions unto infinity, SO TO LOOK FOR ACTIONS AND WORDS FROM ANOTHER AS TO WHAT WILL GIVE OR BE LOVE, will only distract self from finding within itself what it MOST WANT, which lead to the only path that then LOVE WILL FIND YOU.........

nothing is in love, less it know what IS it's best friend, and a best friend is one that wish nothing from you to make itself happy.....

I felt the need to same something about your contraception comment. Not all contraception works 100%. This I say from personal experience. The only 100% effect way to prevent pregnancy is abstinence or sterilization. It's also not just the woman's responsibility to prevent pregnancy it is also the man's.

Pacific star that was totally awesome the way you explained things.
The world could use more great people like you around.

But then again all the things written here were great advice.

Good luck to you and your children no matter what choices you make.
Our prayers are with you.

Amen to that. I'm pregnant with my second and was on birth control. And was still taking it before I even found out.

It's life, it happens. You deal with it the best that you can. Your child is going to turn out great with or without a father in the picture. So hold your head up and keep doing the good job that you are doing.

how much money ya need there girl???