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| Topic: Can Somebody Help Me With A Very Importan Matter | |
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As you see in the posts above i was pregnant but i went to the hospital last night and found out that i had lost the baby From your perspective, likely, problem solved, but it's not, and somewhere inside you know it's not. |
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Edited by
Bushidobillyclub
on
Wed 02/11/09 04:00 PM
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As you see in the posts above i was pregnant but i went to the hospital last night and found out that i had lost the baby From your perspective, likely, problem solved, but it's not, and somewhere inside you know it's not. Perhaps some things are truly better left unsaid. My feelings go out to the Original poster.  
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As you see in the posts above i was pregnant but i went to the hospital last night and found out that i had lost the baby My deepest sympathys for your loss. There is a group called Compassionate Friends that can give you a great deal of emotional support. It is very important for your health and the health of your surviving child. Any maternity hospital can refer you. There groups are free. If you contact your local Planned Parenthood they can help you find the needed post partum medical care to recover safely without complications. It is important if you have not made arrangements to pay for your outstanding hospital bill that you do so to protect your credit. Since I am assumeing you don't make over $55,000 a year you will want to ask for the federally funded Hill Burton Act to pay up to 80% of the bill. Then you can request, in writing, that the hospital forgive hopefully up to 10% of the bill. If the balance is greater than 5% of your annual income you can offer to make equal payments up to that figure over the year usually up to three years. The advantage to this is by making and keeping written agreement you can save yourself interest charges and collection fees. Resist the the pressure to use a credit card. If you apply and are denied Medical it is possible that by doing a financial spin-down that you would qualify. You will have to request and appeal for the denial in writing. If you don't feel like you can manage all this paperwork or the situation overall you can call the local United Way. Or the local Methodist Church and ask for a Stephen's Ministry mentor. Both services are free. I will keep you in our prayers. |
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You alone decided to be pregnant with a second guy's child before he commited to you in marriage. Now you have to live with the consequences alone. It sounds harsh but right now you don't need anyone candy coating things. You are definitely in a tough spot because I believe you are being ridiculos to think either of these loosers are going to step up and be anything remotely close to someone worthy of loving, being a life partner, or a parent. Saying that if someone loved you that they would accept and cope with this mess is streaching the truth a little bit; h-ll a lot. Even a well gounded, mature, and caring man would have a tough time copeing with such a complicated situation. You have betrayed, or at least ended, two relationships with a child involved at this point. Maybe that is your fault maybe it is not but that is what a guy has to deal with going in with you and your instant family. He is going to figure you will do the same to him. So he is going to take a while to develope a relationship if he has a brain in his head. Right now you are scared, emotional, hormonal, desperate, and overwhelmed and I doubt could make a good choice in a man if your life depended on it. And believe me it might well depend on it. If you pick another bad one your children's lives might depend on it. That isn't picking on you personally at all. It is acknowledgeing you are in CRISIS. You have to THINK and ACT not Re-ACT. Comeing here is not a bad idea, friends can often have a cooler head. While you are pregnant I would strongly urge you to acknowledge that your body/mind is already on overload and you probably are NOT going to be able to make good life decisions on your own. For that reason I would seek out a trusted older family member, or friend, or licensed agency to help you meet your families care needs while you are pregnant. Someone who is sober, stable, and does not have a vested interest in taking your child and infant are who I would recommend. One of the best programs that I have seen Nationally is FAMILY PROMISE. You can look them up on the web. It is a comprehensive support program for family's with National oversite that protects you from being exploited. They will get you emergency shelter and then move you to permenant shelter. They can help you find daycare, employment, medical care, transportation, home furnishings, and education if you need it or hang on to what you have. There programs usually have highly skilled professionals and lay persons to help you and respect your dignity. Life will not instantly become easy but it will be more manageable. From the people I have met in the program they would be the person I would turn to in an emergency. With them you will see what real love and good family relationships are about. That is not ruleing out adoption or foster care as an option for either or both children but you seem very impressionable and I would not like to see you bullied into anything because you are having such a tough time. I hope you will be able to put your chin up, shoulders back, and remember that everyone can make choices in life that are not that well thought out but can be sorted out and re-directed to be good decisions. That you want to find love and give love is not a bad thing. You just need to polish up your skills on finding someone worthy of your love and the privilege of being in your families life. They are out there. Guys who want kids, even kids they haven't or can't father but they are few and far between and are not likely to fall in your lap without a great deal of searching and observing to see if they are the real deal and You are the real deal. You probably have some serious alone time ahead of you and I wish I could reach through this computer and hug you because I know how that feels. But I promise it won't kill you and the time will pass quicker if you just let it happen. Good luck. Sending you prayers. I thought this was a well thought out advice and I agree with it totally. I am a foster parent and while I would rather see a child be placed permanently in a loving home, some of us foster parents are very loving, giving people. I am also sending you prayers. |
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If he really loves you then he should accept any situation that comes up. cuz true love will conquer all. and if he is not willing to accept that- then good riddance to bad rubbish Don't blame the dad for mom's mistake. It isn't fair to expect him to welcome someone else's child! |
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