ok heres my story...i need to talk somwhere so i figured here would be the place...and i appologize in advance because its long but i needed to talk....
i am 24 years old i was married to a man for 4 years. things were good for the first 2 of them. then he started wanting to hang out with his friends more than his wife. he would come home from work i would have dinner ready he would eat and then either leave to go to the bar or just go to hang out with one of his frineds. i was never invited i sat at home all by myself 5 out of 7 days of the week. close to our 4 years things were getting worse. we would fight all the time about nothing importiant, when we were home and talking to eachother we would sit on opposite sides of the couch and our sex life was pretty much non existant. i had this friend that i worked with at the time and i would go visit her when he was with his friends, well i met her son and fell madly in love with him. we never really did anything except cuddle on the couch until 3 or 4 in the morning watching movies and falling asleep on each other...it was great. well i ended up leaving my husband for this man. we'll call him "J". well it took J a while to say he loved me but when he did i was so happy. i was married for 4 years and i never felt the feelings with him as i did with J. everytime we touched i got chills everytime he smiled i got chills. anyway, we ended up moving in together and we were happy. he proposed on oct.17 2007 my divorce was final march 23 2008 (from first husband) and J and i were married april 16 2008. that is how much in love we were...well december 17 of last year J woke up and we started arguing about something so small that i cant even remember what it was...and he proceded to tell me that he wasnt happy and he didnt love me anymore and he didnt want to be with me he was done...i tried asking him why and he said that i was too controlling that he wants to be able to do what he wants when he wants without having to worry that i am going to be upset or mad at him. now let me tell you i never got mad at him for going with friends i did however get upset if he was going to be late and didnt call or text me to let me know..i worry. anyway, we talked and a couple days later he said we will try to fix things i told him i can change and i want to change. well he went to my familys christmas with me and we had a good time. although i thought something was wrong still because from the time he told me he only kissed me a few times. but...i thought everything was going ok well dec 28 he told me that he didnt want to make it work that he can see himself without me and there is no more me and him...well i left i am now staying with my frined 50 miles away from him i have a basket of clothes thats it. all my stuff is still there at our house. he has the car he has everything. i had to quit my job i have nothing. i havent talked to him much since i left...but i went back for one night to get a few things and we talked and again he said he had no feelings for me what so ever but he gave me a hug and said just because we are going thru this dont mean we cant still be friends. you can text me and call me anytime you want. well i only texted him maybe maybe twice in the next week or so and it was a stupid funny forward nothing even personal. he texted me 4 days ago telling me that he never wanted to talk to me again that i dont belong in his life and to stay out of it...he then told me that he cheated on me. that hurt me so bad. i had a feeling that maybe he did since i thought we were happy i had no idea that he was feeling controlled or unhappy in any way if you knew J you would understand he was always happy always smiling goofing off making everyone else smile. when he told me he slept with "her" i was crushed devistated mad hurt..you name it i felt it. i havent talked to him since. my friends say i should just let him go that he is an ass hole that i deserve better and can get better but i miss him. even tho i would love to say i am done with his cheating ass i know in my heart if he came back tommorrow i would go running back to him in a heartbeat...i dont want to be alone for the rest of my life. i know i am only 24 and i have time...but i need to find someone that treats me right i dont know how many ppl will actually read this because i am sure its really really long but i needed to get it off my chest and see if anyone had any ideas on how to forget him..or what should i do? anyone wanna go on a date...lol....thanks for listening that kinda helped again sorry so long

you are young...and u have the world at your feet. If he wasnt right...fukc it...move on.
say goodbye..and dont look back.
it was an eye opening learnign experiance.

do soemthign that maeks you feel good.
find yourself.
be single and focus on you

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this. Can I ask why you don't go get your stuff? Who's car is it?

The truth is it does hurt but you need to hold your head up high, realize you're better than both of them and one day you will find that wonderful person you deserve... But you have to be patient b/c it's not going to be tomorrow, not next week, not next month, etc. The "right" person takes time to find.. Be positive, people are attracted to positive... Be ok on your own, people are attracted to strength and a person that is comfortable in their own skin...

This is a wonderful place to make friends and bounce things off people..

Good luck and enjoy...

Cant say I can relate 100 %. But I did date a guy who cheated and pretty much said the same crap to me. He was engaged/married the entire time I dated him to some other woman.... So I Did many things for revenge. I was going through a lot of hatred, anger, emotional issues. He destroyed me. I am still hurt over it. And if he wanted me back....The sick thing is I will jump for it. I would go back. Sick yes I know. But I understand fully what you are going through. You must be hurt to the extreme. I know I sure am. It takes forever to heal. And getting over him will be harder. Hope I helped you out. Sorry to hear. Thats terrible. No one should have to feel like that.

Sounds like you owe it to yourself and a lot of men out there to be alone for a while.
Give yourself some time to heal and figure out what you will and will not tollorate.
Don't try to bounce back from a relationship by throwing yourself on another man.

thank you ....i dont go get my stuff because i dont have anywhere to put it i am staying on a friends couch until the 23 of next month then i will be homeless....:( i know i need to keep my head up it is just really hard to do sometimes

Seriously...get a divorce.
To be with someone that doesn't want you and has already had sex with another woman is Gross.
You will be lucky not to catch a STD.

did i hurt your eyes? lol i am sorry

what about family??

a good jam

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5L_VoBl7LY

i know we will prolly get a divorce but i am making him pay for it...i am not paying a dime..i am just afraid that he will drag it out as long as possible...that would really piss me off

your deffently young.. my daughter is a yr older than you and she was with her soon to be ex hubby on and off for 10yrs before they got married. and she has 3 kids. she now in a gay relationship.

Congratulations, you now qualify to be a member of... Al-Anon.

Do you have any close family to take you in? That is really sad, but it is time to start afresh and not think about this guy. He will only hurt you again if he came back to you.

Seek professional help, otherwise, you will continue to be in this victim role. Your circumstance has less to do with the guys, than it does with you...yah - - those guys are jrkoffs and they have some accountability..but for the most part, the accountability is yours. These as**holse seem to be gravitating toward you and I think it will continue until you find you what the problem is.

roco

until you find out what the problem is..is what i meant to say..

I dont want to judge girl but at 24 you should not be already in a second marriage...........Life is difficult enough but you need self evaluation........you should be thankful that you dont have kids(I hope)............I dont know how your self-esteem is like but it has to have been not in a good place to get married to quickly........I think that many of us jump into a relationship too fast with a man because we want to feel loved but you have to first love yourself before any man can be in your life..............I think that you should take at least a year or two to for self evaluation and get rid of the guy..........he isnt worth it and only time will heal a broken heart and you will thank him later when you meet the one............lust doesnt equate to love and many of us fall in that trap.......take care and good luck........

just curious misspharry...what spell did he have over you..if you don't mind revealing...i've been told that it's usually one of two things...that he can either fk the hell out of you..or that he berates you in such a way that he is the only one that can unlock you...which one was it..

roco

i am not trying to be a victim like i said i just needed to talk and let lose...where i thought ppl wouldnt judge me...i figured i dont know anyone here why not just talk sometimes strangers make the best of friends...anyway...i dont want ppl to feel sorry for me that is not what i was trying to accomplish...