okay so i've been hurt in every relationship i've been in.. and it's taken a toll on my trust.

now when i start getting involved with a male... (im not even talking seriously involved, just getting to know each other)... i unintentionally find something that bothers me about the guy.. and it bothers me to the point of not being interested in the guy anymore. then a potentially great thing is ruined, because i'm scared to let a guy get close again.

and i've tried to stop doing it... i just cant help it. it happens inevitably.

if something bothers you about somebody perhaps it's an indication not to get involved in a relationship with them - well at least not more than friends

but i mean its stuff that shouldn't bother me.

the way he says a word... the way he walks... the way his eyebrows look.

stuff that we think shouldn't matter often does...have you expressed to him how you are bothered by certain things? could be a deal breaker

No matter what it is that bothers you it is still a sign. Can be trivial or not, when you find the right person trivial won't matter.. till then just keep looking.

Perhaps you need to take some time off dating,concentrate on you, and allow yourself time to heal. It helps during that break to think about what you are really looking for. When you are ready to get back in the saddle, just remember, nobody is perfect, but that perfect one for you is out there!!

If you have been burned in "every" relationship you've been in, maybe you ought to take a long look at those relationships and try and figure out what got you into them and what choices you have been making when picking friends.

it's not just one guy. it's EVERY guy i get involved with.

it's been a year. lol and im totally over it... not like most girls say "over it" ... but i'm completely over it. he's in another relationship and i'm happy for him :)

ok then what about me bothers you? ...

im not involved with you lol

we're getting to know one another - I'd say we're getting involved...albeit platonically...can't wait to find out what about me bothers you

well do you have unrealistic expectations? this can cause a problem cause no one is perfect and part of being in a relationship is allowing the other person to be themselves. What is it that annoys you and be honest?

thats what you're not getting... when i first start talking to these guys, they seem great. like something wonderful could happen between us...

but unintentionally i find little, petty, stupid things that bother me... and then they drive me nuts!

you are making a joke out of my point.

I do the exact same thing. From what I gather about myself, just being alone is best for right now, til I sort myself out. Good luck.

Take some time for you, it helps.

well based on your second quote the problem is you. You need to fix you and then you can have a relationship, until then you may be passing on a keeper. So my advice would be to realize that the only way to have a great relationship is to be absolutely the best mate you can be. If you can bring yourself to sacrafice everything then find someone that appreciates that you can have bliss. its risky and its scarry but in my opinion you cant have an omalette without cracking a few eggs. Bitterness is very unattractive!!!!!!!

Hey, getting hurt is a lot worst when family members are the ones hurting you but this is male female relationships we are talking here.

My bet is that you feel a building sense of distrust both in men and yourself.
To me it is clearly a confidence issue. You don't want to admit it but you are probably on one hand telling yourself you are just going to get hurt again and on the other side flood with the pain you suffered emotionally in the past. You do not want to be hurt again and that is normal. Nobody likes pain unless they are a sado masochist. You need to find a way of building your self confidence and find a way to face yourself and finally move past the pain you suffer internally.
Fear has a lot to do with this as well. Facing fear is tough. it might help to seek a qualified relationship councilor to help you isolate the issues that are plaguing you but bear in mind this kind of healing needs three things:
1. You must admit to yourself you need to address this and face yourself for the good and bad. Learn your weaknesses, learn to make them strengths.
2. This is going to take time and in best case results would be in about six months but it could take years to resolve. You must be patient with yourself more than others!
3. Try to identify your problem behaviors and face them and work on modifying them. THIS IS VERY TOUGH TO DO! This is where drug addicts fail the most! Granted this is not drug related but if it has anything to do with psychology is does pertain.

It is good that you are aware that something is wrong but now you have to fix it. Please do not get sucked into taking Happy Pills. Pharmaceuticals is not the answer!

I may not be right in my guess as to what you are going through but it sounds like a type of PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. My guess is that past relationships have failed miserably in your past.

It sounds like you are attracted to the wrong guy when the right one may be standing right in front of you. Then again it may be something else because you keep getting hurt. Just don't start hating yourself over this.
Then again NOTHING about love is easy!

Doesn't sound like you're ready to be in a relationship. Be comfortable with yourself and with being alone for a while, and go forward with meeting people with no expectations of anything more than a friend. Once some time passes, you'll be able to "accept". My last relationship was three years. Without even knowing it, I compared the men I dated to the last, even though he was never good to me, I couldn't find anything in anyone that I found tolerable. I was disgusted with the idea of being with anyone else. Takes time.... that's all I can say.

little dumb things wont matter when you love someone they will be part of the resion why you love them