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| Topic: Fate, Karma, whatever | |
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I had a little time on my hands at work ( never a good thing ) and I started thinking ( NEVER a good thing )about something...
After doing some self analysis, I realized, much too late, that when I was with my daughter's mom, I was not a very pleasant person. I didn't treat her very well. I will always regret not being able to see that as it was happening. But now I wonder. Could it be that, having been alone for four years, and having not been very happy or well treated in my relationships since my daughter's mom, that Fate, Karma whatever you call it, has determined that I am really not MEANT to be allowed happiness because of my prior behavior? Everyone likes to say that " what comes around goes around ". Could that be more true than anyone actually realizes? Should I just give up and let my Fate be what it is? Since I was a " not nice guy " before, no matter how much better a man I am now, I'm just not meant for happiness?? I guess there is no real question behind this post. Just kinda thinking out loud I suppose. |
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I had a little time on my hands at work ( never a good thing ) and I started thinking ( NEVER a good thing )about something... After doing some self analysis, I realized, much too late, that when I was with my daughter's mom, I was not a very pleasant person. I didn't treat her very well. I will always regret not being able to see that as it was happening. But now I wonder. Could it be that, having been alone for four years, and having not been very happy or well treated in my relationships since my daughter's mom, that Fate, Karma whatever you call it, has determined that I am really not MEANT to be allowed happiness because of my prior behavior? Everyone likes to say that " what comes around goes around ". Could that be more true than anyone actually realizes? Should I just give up and let my Fate be what it is? Since I was a " not nice guy " before, no matter how much better a man I am now, I'm just not meant for happiness?? I guess there is no real question behind this post. Just kinda thinking out loud I suppose. what goes around comes around and that everything happens/returns in threes play together well.... eventually someone will play nice with you as you are doing know..the lesson was to learn to appreciate what you have, to realize where you made your mistakes and to wait patiently for that somebody to come along..it will happen, the lesson is still being taught..maybe it will be over soon though |
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Well I see it this way, you might have had a touch of "what goes around, comes around". But through this insight, maybe you see some things you can do different or change about yourself. Change comes within. And then maybe you will have changed your fate. Every person is deserving of happiness, that doesnt mean its going to be handed to you on a silver platter. You have to make your own happiness. I think you are on the right road Sunshine.
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 Sounds like it went around and came around....and is maybe now ready for a change around!!
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Sounds like it went around and came around....and is maybe now ready for a change around!! Maybe. But I'm not sure I have paid my full penance as of yet. |
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Give up?! Oh hell no! Happiness is what we all pursue. Until we are mature enough emotionally to realize that happiness has always been there...we just have to see it...it eludes us.
So, tell us, what are the things you are happy about in your life? Big or small, write them down. Your past is only a tool you can use to learn from. Take the positives from then and add to them for your future. Perhaps you were a "not so nice" kinda guy back then. We all have potential to be the biggest jerks on the planet. Forgive yourself. Happiness is right in front of you and all you have to do is change the way you are perceiving things. |
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If you believe that you MUST suffer to pay for your sins, you will suffer.
If you believe that you made mistakes, learned from them, and forgive yourself for the role you played in anothers life...you won't feel that need to suffer for what you have done. The choice is yours. Choose wisely. |
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Don't get me wrong. I do have things that I am happy about.
I love my job. My dog is awesome entertainment. Even my creepy cat makes me happy. But it's just that one part of happiness that I am not sure Fate will ever allow me to have again. Damn. I sound very much the defeatist tonight. |
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Use every experience to grow into a bigger grander version of yourself.
Find all the gifts in the ashes. Be the best man you can be ... the best partner you can be... It isn't about paying penance ... it is about letting go of who you are not ... and believing you are deserving of a richer experience of love... Be it ... and it'll find you ... make it so ... |
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Edited by
justme659
on
Mon 01/12/09 08:53 PM
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Sounds like it went around and came around....and is maybe now ready for a change around!! Maybe. But I'm not sure I have paid my full penance as of yet. But maybe you have. I am a firm believer of possitive thinking. So I am going to fail that glass half full question in psych class. LOL You are learning more and more about your self every day. And in the process are growing and changing. That means to me that you are paid in full. |
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Never give up. That is the worst thing you can do because then you will live the rest of your life asking what if.
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The only thing I ever ask " What if " about is " What if I had been better to her ".
But I do that only extremely rarely. |
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Everyone likes to say that " what comes around goes around ". Could that be more true than anyone actually realizes? Should I just give up and let my Fate be what it is? Since I was a " not nice guy " before, no matter how much better a man I am now, I'm just not meant for happiness?? I guess there is no real question behind this post. Just kinda thinking out loud I suppose. those 'not nice guys' who fancy themselves "a better a man" only realize that based upon isolation. karma does not exist. Fact is, if you were not a nice guy before, then you are probably still not a nice guy. If you find another woman you like, you will comfortably fall back into your same tendencies. fate does not exist. No rivers are going to be cried over your lament. You know what you did and nothing is going to erase your past. To seperate yourself from being a bonafide wastecase is apologizing and reforming...but that is probably too much to ask. I must add that I am giving you blind advice. I don't know you or your circumstances but I still think my advice is worthy of considering. Always, always admit your wrongs and apologize. only then can you move on as a better person. |
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The what if's alwasy get ya. Karma is deep. Learn and move on. You cannot change the past but you can learn from it. The past is behind today is a gift, and tomorrow is unknown. When given the chance to do over. Look in your heart for that is truly a gift.WE don't get that chance often in life.
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You reap what you sow.........
 Karma? maybe.........or maybe you are feeling guilty and self inflicting these things on yourself????  You already are self analyzing, which is a good thing. But improving upon your life is the next step. What can you do differently to make yourself and those around you better??? 
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I had a little time on my hands at work ( never a good thing ) and I started thinking ( NEVER a good thing )about something... After doing some self analysis, I realized, much too late, that when I was with my daughter's mom, I was not a very pleasant person. I didn't treat her very well. I will always regret not being able to see that as it was happening. But now I wonder. Could it be that, having been alone for four years, and having not been very happy or well treated in my relationships since my daughter's mom, that Fate, Karma whatever you call it, has determined that I am really not MEANT to be allowed happiness because of my prior behavior? Everyone likes to say that " what comes around goes around ". Could that be more true than anyone actually realizes? Should I just give up and let my Fate be what it is? Since I was a " not nice guy " before, no matter how much better a man I am now, I'm just not meant for happiness?? I guess there is no real question behind this post. Just kinda thinking out loud I suppose. If you couldn't learn from your mistakes and make your future a better place for even yourself to live, then it would all be futile. I do think we get what we dish out, but that doesn't mean forever. You are already seeing the error of your ways and that should pay off in the future. Pay forward you might say. The whole idea is to CHANGE if you see you aren't who you would like to be. 
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whatever it was really doesnt matter, what matters is you realize this now... and since there is a child involved.. maybe you should appoligise to her... afterall you do admit that u were wrong... and take this forward with you into your next relationship perhaps it will last longer
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That is a very fatalistic perspective.
A friend of mine said she thinks she might be having financial problems because she stole once in the past. Now, this person is an intelligent, gifted, and kind friend who made a bad mistake. Do you think her good deeds are overshadowed by a past error in judgment? Do you yourself really think your life is ruined emotionally because you acted like an ass? Have you thought about talking to your ex and then actively pursuing different behaviors and self awareness for the future? Could it be "safe" to think this is karma so you don't have to put yourself out there? |
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That is a very fatalistic perspective. A friend of mine said she thinks she might be having financial problems because she stole once in the past. Now, this person is an intelligent, gifted, and kind friend who made a bad mistake. Do you think her good deeds are overshadowed by a past error in judgment? Do you yourself really think your life is ruined emotionally because you acted like an ass? Have you thought about talking to your ex and then actively pursuing different behaviors and self awareness for the future? Could it be "safe" to think this is karma so you don't have to put yourself out there? |
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I think first is to ask the ex for forgiveness....I also believe that this will take the guilt (if any) out of the equation.
I believe that we are on this planet to learn from our mistakes and then put them in the past where they belong...There is a reason why it is called the past. No one is meant to be on this planet alone....and jmo God did not create us to be alone. But I think to many people do bad things and then don't ask those they hurt for forgiveness.....I think that is the first step. |
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