Honestly, and I say this with all good intentions, why in the world are you seeking advice from people who don't live their lives parallel to the book you esteem and expect answers that will make sense to you? Or are you just looking for 'permission'?

It's not that the peeps on here don't rock. They do. I've been on here a long time & love the community.

That said though, when it comes to understanding anything in my life, that I KNOW is dealt with in the Bible (and yes I am a committed Christian) I wouldn't think twice to seek 'wisdom' on those matters from friends who don't esteem the Bible as I do. You need like minds hon.

I think that's dangerous and actually is ALSO discussed in the Bible. Where you seek your 'direction' from.

Let's face it. You'll get the answers you want. That doesn't mean they are right. Period. You can't seek 'yes' answers and expect it to line up with your faith. The measuring tool is right in the Word dude. Not here.

Just sayin.

oh ya .. and 'love' and 'lust' ??

2 very different concepts.

Very true, about looking for answers here, but several of the people seemed christian in principal, this is an experiment, in all honesty. And yes, I'm very well aware that love and lust are two different things. This also provides a mode of communication, something that's been lacking recently. However, I've come to the very possible conclusion that this whole thing boils down to cursed chemicals within, and an experience to prove that I'm not nearly as in control of myself as I thought or would like to be. So far, this dialog with other people has helped. So thank you to everyone that posted.

First, you need to read Mere Christianity. What you are saying about right and wrong being based on opinion is not true.

Look at any group of people. Maybe they are savages who kill outsiders...but they don't kill their own people. They are admitting that killing is wrong, but they allow themselves to still kill outsiders. Maybe you have someone who is violent and beats his girlfriend...but he would no doubt say it is wrong to beat him. Morality isn't defined by what you or your culture allow yourselves to do, but what you know is right and wrong. Every culture has shown the same sorts of morality, but the only difference is who they treat with that morality. For a long time, it was only free members of that society that were treated morally, but those morals haven't changed. There is no society that ever said "It's okay to kill anyone at any time", but they might have said "It's okay to kill outsiders at any time" or "It's okay to kill adulterers at any time".

So is addiction to pleasure wrong? Yes, addiction is wrong.

But you have proven my point. No two social moral campuses are the same, just as no two people's morality is exactly alike. Why is that? Because of their perception on the world. Which is influenced by their society, upbringing and personal philosophies. Which is to say that morality is not a fixed matter. True, the Bible posses several moral guidelines and rule to follow, be even those are twisted, or perverted to suite peoples need, or means. No, that's not a slam on the Bible, it's an observation on how people, who sin, manipulate God's word. But the point still stands, you will be hard pressed to find any two people with the exact same morals.

Oh, and is addiction to one's own wife wrong, if, no matter what, addiction is wrong, or addition to God?

Well we wouldn't be human if we never felt like we were missing out on something. That's lust...in the nutshell.

I would say put God first...more so like never before, stand on His solid ground & you will be satisfied.

Personally I think lust is a bit more complicated than just feeling the lack of something. In fact, I don't believe lust is like that at all. I think we can Lust ofter God, wanting to be with him always and forever, displaying passion and fervor that we show towards our husbands or wives.

No, I'm sorry, you misunderstood me.

Everyone agrees on what is right. But they disagree on who should be treated right. No society has ever said that rape or murder was okay, but some societies have decided that some people don't deserve to be treated right. So a viking might have raped a woman in a village he was pillaging and other vikings would have seen nothing wrong with it. But if he returned home and raped someone's wife, then that would be viewed as wrong. Rape is seen as "wrong", but it was allowed to treat certain people that way. A "right" action would be right in all cases. It should be obvious that rape is always wrong and our society agrees with that, we don't use rape as a punishment for crimes. It's always right to save the life, even when you are saving the life of a criminal or your enemy.

So EVERYONE has the same perception of what is right and wrong, but societies have been accepting of treating certain people not right.

What you seem to believe is that because some people or societies exempt themselves from treating everyone right, then everyone has different views on right and wrong. That is not true. You cannot find a single society that believed in always practicing a behavior we consider wrong. What you will find is that a society will create exemptions for itself or it's members. Everything that we consider right and good has exemptions in the various human society. It's good that we don't kill our children, but we exempt pregnant women who want to end their pregnancy.

Think about a monarchy. Only one person has democratic rights...the monarch. Everyone else has their rights repressed. So the society has decided that only the monarch should be treated right and that all other members of the society can be treated wrong.

As a Christian, you should believe that in an absolute right. That God doesn't want us to be "good enough", God wants us to be good. To do something that you know is wrong, even if all of society is accepting of that action and call it good, is still wrong.

True, there is absolute right, but that absolute right among Christians, hence the different denominations. and I'm really only saying that society influences the morality for the individual. Because everyone is different and we have free will, what we see as right and wrong is different. For example, I consider myself a devout Methodist, with the exception of this little moral excursion. However, the general beliefs that abortion is wrong, among Christians is different with me. I think women should have the right to choose and be responsible for that decision, rather than a government imposed choice. The same goes for gay mirage. Jesus told us to be accepting of other people, and I don't think denying people that right is very accepting.

So, just in those two examples alone, shows that My moral guidelines are different from other Christians. Not to mention the different moral variations within the christian community and other religions. I just don't understand how you can say that everyone has the same views on what's right and wrong, unless that's not id at all.

With the example of rape, I'm sure there are people, like aerial rapist, that think rape is alright. Granted, I'm not defending them, not at all, and in fact I think should be used against rapist as a punishment, but that's just me. I also think that castration should be used against Child rapist and child molesters. I think that's morally acceptable, do you?

Nope, you still aren't getting me. I know I'm not being clear.

The serial rapist sees nothing wrong with him raping a woman, but he would object to being raped himself. Therefore he admits that rape is wrong, but doesn't impose restrictions on his own behavior.

He doesn't question if rape is right or wrong, he knows it's wrong, but he only applies that as wrong in regards to himself. For others, he excuses his behavior. He says to himself "I can't control myself" or "She deserves it, look at how she's dressed"...there is always a reason in his mind to excuse his wrong behavior, but he would protest if he were treated the way he treats his victims.

And no, I don't think mutilating people should be a punishment. It's wrong to mutilate anyone, regardless of their crimes. Mutilation isn't justice, it's vengeance and the right for vengeance belongs to God alone.

correct...lust is a kind of wanting... desire is wanting something you don't have yet.

So you absolutely love someone so much you want to be with that person? Or am I off the mark?

lust is usually of a self-indulgent and sometimes violent nature.

Desire on the other hand indicates a deep intensive longing and tends to focus on the object of the desire, so is more about the focus (God or another person) of that desire rather than being about self.

religious feeling sees nothing, can do nothing against sin. It will adapt and come to terms with everything, it falls in with everything, devotes itself to nothing.

faith is supernatural, our spirit yielding to the truth revealed by God.

I guess one has to decide to choose religious feeling or faith.

wow, lots of things to respond to. firs of, because I'm stupids and can't do the whole quotes thing, I'll try to make sense. Spidercmb, am I understanding correctly, you feel that everyone has the exact same morals? because that's kind of what I was thinking. Because, in my previous example about Gay mirage and abortion sort of disproves that.

Second, yes, when I love a person, I want to be with them, hence the lust, however, I have to love someone before that happens, which leads me to what Britty was saying. Personally, I think lust and desires is a matter of semantics and connotation, but that's just me.

Okay, we all fall short of the glory of God. Is it wrong to have premarital sexual relations...yes. Is it wrong to have lustful thoughts...yes. Many things people do of the world are wrong. I know some try to be 'devout' and love God and are devoted to your faith. I am a Baptist. I know. But to even have a negative thought, let alone a lustful one, is sin as well. Anything that goes against the teachings of the Bible is wrong. The only perfect One to walk among us was and is Jesus. You said earlier you didn't want to ask for forgiveness. Even the fact that you are thinking about this, should make you want to ask for forgiveness. We should ask Him daily to forgive us. The devil is at work, hard at work to bring us way from God. The media requires you to look at a clothing add in a lustful way. Sin is everywhere unless you live in a box. Even then, idle hands, or minds, are those of the devil. I am by no means saying, act upon it, sin is everywhere anyways. I just have been reading posts,and I am wondering what makes you so much better the the rest of us Christians who love the Lord and don't want to displease him so much that I humble myself for the Lord. I know he loves me and everyone else, but I do not feel worthy of His love.

I am definately not meaning to be mean or knock anyone's faith. Just humble yourelf before the Lord. Do not be boastful about your good faith, for all fall short of the glory of God.

No offence fenem but I thought spider's last response was clear as crystal.

As for your thoughts about lust and desire, I think you have a lot of growing to do spiritually.
I hope you find the kind of love in your life that will teach you some of those lessons. That is not meant to be a put down, but wishing the best for you.

By definition Addiction is harmful, no matter what you are addicted to. Why do you think they have SLA groups?

Okay, what I’m just asking of spider is if he thinks that everyone has the same morals. While I don’t disagree that we have similar morals, I would debate any two people having the exact same moral beliefs. Second, I don’t think that I’m better than anyone, I hope I don’t come across that way. In fact, I believe this whole challenge with lust and desire I’m having is meant to humble me and show me I don’t have as much control over my sin as I thought or would like to have. And when I say I don’t want to ask for forgiveness, what I’m saying is, I want to actively push sin away and not sin as much so I don’t have to ask for as much forgiveness as I would if I were complacent. I think that trying to stop myself from sinning or actively sinning less would make God happy. Is my faith incorrect in thinking that? By faith I mean my personal belief, not my church. Also, in what ways do you feel I need to grow spiritually? I’m curious so I can better look at those areas and perhaps fix them.
I’m well aware that the what the world holds as true is often sin, I’ve been aware of that for quite some time. That is exactly why I kill myself to the world on a daily basis. I’m just struggling with this addiction. I feel that dying to the world is an important part of faith.

Does everyone have the same morality? No, of course not.

Morality is a code of conduct, morality dictates how one behaves. And although each individual will usually obey their own morality, they will sometimes deviate from it.

The issue of Right and Wrong is different from Morality. Observation of other cultures and people will show us that everyone has a different morality, but their morality reveals that we all have the same perception of what is Right and Wrong.

An example: Terrorists who capture Americans will torture, rape, murder and mutilate their bodies. But they demand that the same not be done to them. Their belief that they should be treated "fairly" clearly shows that they know right from wrong and demand to be treated right. Based on their religion or society pressures, they will treat others wrongly, but they are acutely aware of the right way to behave.

CS Lewis calls this the "Law of Nature", mankind's instinctual understanding of Right from Wrong and desire to be treat Right (even when they don't do the same to others).

2 questions i would ask myself:

Is it moraly wrong or against my beliefs?

How is it affecting my life...Is it making my life unmanageable?