Topic: What are some ways to forget someone?
sensualsweet's photo
Thu 01/29/09 05:55 AM
Actually, focus on whatever positives you can glean from it. Look at it as an opportunity to start anew... a fresh slate.

It wasn't meant to be and you have cut your losses.

Move on and let go of the stone.

Fade2Black's photo
Thu 01/29/09 08:41 AM

:smile: What are some ways to forget someone?:smile:



I don't WANT to forget ..

http://mingle2.com/topic/show/201331

no photo
Fri 01/30/09 02:55 AM


:smile: What are some ways to forget someone?:smile:



I don't WANT to forget ..

http://mingle2.com/topic/show/201331

flowerforyou

no photo
Fri 01/30/09 02:57 AM
I find it amazing how some people (mainly men) are able to compartmentalize. It makes things so much easier. Unfortunately, not a quality I possess.

no photo
Fri 01/30/09 02:59 AM

Yet one other way is to get into another relationship or someone elses bed quick!!


This just feeds into relationship or sex addiction....even *gasp* what most of us call "codependency".

scoundrel's photo
Fri 01/30/09 03:44 AM


Yet one other way is to get into another relationship or someone elses bed quick!!


This just feeds into relationship or sex addiction....even *gasp* what most of us call "codependency".


I use pain relievers occasionally, to deal with pain, and yet I rarely use pain relievers as often as I could find excuses to do.
I view using sex in the same fashion. If it is a reality check to get over the mental fog of the emotional soccer of a terminated relationship, then it's an interruption in the pain. Doing it over and over and becoming dependent is truly a grave danger, as you say.
:wink:
but...I can deal with sex addiction, and move it into a supporting role in a relationship that is slowly growing healthier.
If we needed perfecto saints for mates, we will always be lonely...and not much improved.

bemorelikecarlos's photo
Fri 01/30/09 04:51 AM

:smile: What are some ways to forget someone?:smile:


Get rid of all the emotional attachments you two established. Get rid of everything that reminds you of them, it sounds easy but it can be very difficult depending on the situation.



Convince yourself that it would have never worked no matter what you did


Get your rehab on.
(replace the void they left with objects)

no photo
Fri 01/30/09 04:57 AM

but...I can deal with sex addiction, and move it into a supporting role in a relationship that is slowly growing healthier.
If we needed perfecto saints for mates, we will always be lonely...and not much improved.

True. However, there are some parts of sex addiction which might not be acceptable for many/most. I admire someone that can tolerate that type of humiliation in a relationship, never knowing for sure if their partner will recover. I'm not sure I'm capable of that. And, I told him so when we reuinted.

Then comes personal risk - the threat of life-threatening disease. That choice is harder for me to admire in someone, perhaps because it seems to be a more palpable or outwardly visible form of slow suicide.

On the flip side, I have had males say to me that my own relationship or sex addiction isn't an issue for them (in the least) in the way it manifests for me - that my issue is not my drive, neediness, or freakiness :laughing: ....but that I simply haven't chosen the right man in the past.

I disagree.

My problem(s) are precisely the reason I choose wrong; and, I cannot, in good faith, accept help or a "healthy" relationship from one who says this without first being in recovery, myself. I recently had to turn down someone who has been waiting for a long time for me in this very way....and for this very reason.

Fade2Black's photo
Fri 01/30/09 08:44 AM
^^ I've heard some of the same arguments .. think they are reading the same books? laugh

FallinAngel82's photo
Fri 01/30/09 09:01 AM
i wouldnt want to forget anyone

every person i have ever come in direct contact with or even those i havent even met in person but just talked to online has had some sort of impact on my life , molding who i am or who i will become in the future,


they have all taught me one thing or another about myself , be it ways that i havent been the best person at that particular time or letting me know what i have done to help them in some way


on that note, my memory itself isnt that great , so there are alot of things i might forget, i may forget a name or face but inside whatever i learned from that person is still there

no photo
Fri 01/30/09 12:10 PM
bigsmile Have a white castle burger eating competition while staring at his pic........bigsmile

scoundrel's photo
Fri 01/30/09 01:52 PM


but...I can deal with sex addiction, and move it into a supporting role in a relationship that is slowly growing healthier.
If we needed perfecto saints for mates, we will always be lonely...and not much improved.

True. However, there are some parts of sex addiction which might not be acceptable for many/most. I admire someone that can tolerate that type of humiliation in a relationship, never knowing for sure if their partner will recover. I'm not sure I'm capable of that. And, I told him so when we reuinted.

Then comes personal risk - the threat of life-threatening disease. That choice is harder for me to admire in someone, perhaps because it seems to be a more palpable or outwardly visible form of slow suicide.

On the flip side, I have had males say to me that my own relationship or sex addiction isn't an issue for them (in the least) in the way it manifests for me - that my issue is not my drive, neediness, or freakiness :laughing: ....but that I simply haven't chosen the right man in the past.

I disagree.

My problem(s) are precisely the reason I choose wrong; and, I cannot, in good faith, accept help or a "healthy" relationship from one who says this without first being in recovery, myself. I recently had to turn down someone who has been waiting for a long time for me in this very way....and for this very reason.


That sucks rocks, Angel.
You're setting yourself up as a painting upon an easel and trying to paint yourself better while denying yourself the companionship that is critical to the health of your heart and hopes for good life.
I am totally in agreement that your are doing the right thing in knowing/determining to become the person you want to be, independent of others. It just sucks that you cannot have both...
...it is so brutal and common for people to skip over romantic companionship and bonding for the sake of "improvements" in oneself and others, as if we promise ourselves next year.
When you find yourself "ready enough" to risk the heartaches of love again, you will be changed, and your criteria for acceptable mates will also change.
Love whomever loves you today. For you. I am certain that they will still love you tomorrow, for who you become.

scoundrel's photo
Fri 01/30/09 01:53 PM

bigsmile Have a white castle burger eating competition while staring at his pic........bigsmile


That could work.
If you and I are in a contest with each other, and the bum's pic is there, then that would be a truly fun experience. I've rarely done gluttony with a partner to the point of mutual barfing.

You're an original.:wink:

Dragoness's photo
Fri 01/30/09 01:57 PM

:smile: What are some ways to forget someone?:smile:


If it is a casual association, time will work wonders on that, but if it is someone you really cared about, outside brain damage, there is nothing that will truly make you forget them.

I would work more on helping myself to become okay with them not being with you anymore. Getting to a point where you understand that every person has their own path and sometimes it is not the same as yours for whatever reason. If you truly love them you will wish them happiness no matter where that path takes them, right?

no photo
Fri 01/30/09 02:36 PM

^^ I've heard some of the same arguments .. think they are reading the same books? laugh

:wink:

Ekho's photo
Fri 01/30/09 02:40 PM
Rubber mallet to the temple. Repeat as necessary.

Theres always a chance you may forget other things, like how to feed yourself or use the bathroom, but its a small price to pay, right? right? Maybe......

no photo
Fri 01/30/09 02:47 PM
Edited by angelindarkness on Fri 01/30/09 02:48 PM

That sucks rocks, Angel.
You're setting yourself up as a painting upon an easel and trying to paint yourself better while denying yourself the companionship that is critical to the health of your heart and hopes for good life.
I am totally in agreement that your are doing the right thing in knowing/determining to become the person you want to be, independent of others. It just sucks that you cannot have both...
...it is so brutal and common for people to skip over romantic companionship and bonding for the sake of "improvements" in oneself and others, as if we promise ourselves next year.
When you find yourself "ready enough" to risk the heartaches of love again, you will be changed, and your criteria for acceptable mates will also change.
Love whomever loves you today. For you. I am certain that they will still love you tomorrow, for who you become.

We know that sexual starvation or "white knuckling" it doesn't work. As for relationships? I don't have the luxury of time anymore at this point. So, your words are well taken.

And, ....Well, let's see if he does and let's see what happens. I confronted him on his sh!t tonight. Nothing concrete, mind you. Just a hunch I have, a feeling, based on past experience with him. Call it b!tchiness, brattiness, whatever. It provoked a reaction in him. He says he's gonna tie me up in the corner so I can feel that tonight. :laughing:

Unfortunately, that doesn't work because we both like the idea of that too much. oops rofl

scoundrel's photo
Fri 01/30/09 03:02 PM



Love whomever loves you today. For you. I am certain that they will still love you tomorrow, for who you become.

We know that sexual starvation or "white knuckling" it doesn't work. As for relationships? I don't have the luxury of time anymore at this point. So, your words are well taken.

oops rofl


shocked White knuckling really doesn't work??? scared

uh oh........................embarassed

no photo
Fri 01/30/09 03:09 PM

shocked White knuckling really doesn't work??? scared

uh oh........................embarassed

Nope....tried it all my life. Nope.... embarassed

:wink: :laughing:



PATSFAN's photo
Fri 01/30/09 03:10 PM
bigsmile Selective memory is greatbigsmile