Oh about my religous comment, I'm an agnostic as well. I hate religion because of its chaoss it causes but I also believe there is somthing out there. you don't have to give into the blah blah blah they preach, but to surround yourself with positive people and relat somthings they say to every day life.

You worry too much. Find the inner you, and try playing that role for a while. People are like computers. After long periods of time pass, they need to be defragged back to their origional personality and ways of thinking. Turn up the music and smoke a fat one, you'll be ok.

I feel like that every night.

I think everyone has moments they feel down on themselves.

After the holidays it is a familiar feeling for almost everyone to some degree.

It is very common if you have had an emotional terrorist in your life constantly driveing you to be better and doing a hatchet job on your self esteem everytime you have learning experiences that don't turn out exactly the way they want to control the world.

It is also very common if you have had unexpected stressors in your life that were beyond your control. Things are pretty dramatic at the end of your teens. Your social circle takes some pretty good hits as highschool ends. Sometimes it is the first time to live away from home. Often if you have ever had a job you must get a different one where you have very little power. You are adding what sounds like and exciting new relationship. If you were not anxious I would be surprized.

It is fine to be scared but you will get past it and if he is as great as you say everything is going to be wonderful. Get a calendar to help keep yourself organized. Get up a little earlier and have a brisk walk to clear your mind and start your day on a good note. Do not skip meals. Your body and brain are making some major changes even if it doesn't feel that way. You have to take responsibility for your health. Rest is your friend in stressful periods so be mature enough to get what you know you need.

You are at the age to be pressured to drink and do other stupid things that are supposedly mature. You know what is right so don't trade off your future and everything will be fine. Keep a journal and you will see that this is a magical time in your life that will float by somedays and yes be hard as diamonds others but you can....... DO IT!

Hi Silence
I read about your situation and felt it as I too at one time felt that way. As a matter of fact and for the most part, we all have gone throw, what our going throw. You indicate, you just had a split and I know how that feels. To me, it was the end of the world, and at one time I thought that not being anywhere on earth, would do me and everyone else good. Boy was I wrong! Of course, just like all the rest of your friends above, I got good advice. At first I could not see beyond my nose to solve or to adhere to anyone elses advice. But one of my friend hit it right on the nail. He told me that time has a way of healing. He told me that if the event is in the present, the hurt is evident, but giving time to heal, as time goes by, the hurt goes away. Boy was he right. I thought, I could not live without that girl and felt worthless. I was so wrong and take this as an experience you will have to go throw.

Another thing I learned in that time frame was the taking my life, was of no use. First, if I did, and if faith has a way of turning things around, I just might have lost out on another chance and my whole life would turn around. But if I did something stupid as taking matters in to my own hands, I would never know. Beside there is a much stronger reason why not to think like that or even consider it. I read that you love your family. Right of the bat, that tell me and everyone here, your a lovable and loving child at heart. I once read that people that are pondering in taking matters into there own hands, are very selfish people. Why? Because only selfish people only think of themselves and no one else. They don't stop to consider how this would affect there love ones. There into themselves and no one else. But you don't fit in this category as you already told all of us that you love your family. What a relief. Beside, I don't know if our religious or not, but in the Good Book it states that “cowards will not inherit, God's kingdom”. Now we don't want to fit in that category, right? 'Silence',...this will pass, but like a cold that lingers on for days and weeks, this happening of yours will come to pass. You already have received many good advice above and I only recommend you take it.

On another note, I think, that for the time being, you should not hear or be in the company, with anyone that is going throw what your going throw. Why? And the following is only and example and not taken seriously should anyone else is going throw this. Would an recovering alcoholic be around and taking advice from another alcoholic with a bottle of whiskey in his hand? I think not. But being around good people that love you and only want the best for you is good medicine. So girl, go to your mirror and say, to yourself. “God, why did you make me so beautiful? We all have an inner beauty and you do too. Hope this and along with what others have already told you will help you in understanding that this world could not revolve another second without you. Your beautiful and special and we all want you around to make us laugh and make fools out of us. You take care and in the mean time, “May You Sleep with Angels”

viva_el_amor
viva_el_amor@hotmail.com

I agree...good answer

But I'd add that you don't have to go to church to pray...

You aren't alone in feeling the way you do and you're getting some great advice in some of these responses.
Things will get better.

Silence,
As I read more of the thread I realize new things about your situation which prompts me to add that you have some special needs but it is not insurmountable or prevent you from being a huge contribution to many peoples lives.

Sure it sucks when relationships don't turn out the way we want. It might have been your illness but my guess it is just being young. Sounds like you will end up friends so take a deep breath and let things calm down.

Personally believing in a higher power works for me but I don't let someone else's doctrine dictate my beliefs. I just think any power that can create something as big as the world and as unique as human beings are has a plan even if I am not smart enough to understand all of it. Prayer works for me and seems to bring out the best of me to cope even if it doesn't immediately give me answers.

Sometimes those answers include the help of professionals and medication that balances out the chemistry that seems to through no ones fault get screwed up. And hearing all the sweet kindnesses of people who really don't know you that well but are rooting for you to be a part of our lives our community and our future knowing we care about you.

SS I'm sorry to hear everything... message me if you wanna talk!

I feel like that sometimes. I think we all do. I'm trying to work through some of the same things. I think it really helps to try to see yourself through the eyes of the people who love you. Your friends, family, etc.

thanks everyone... i'm just trying to surround myself with my friends... and its already making me feel a little better...

what illness?

If every decision you make is the wrong decision, then it's a no brainer to do the opposite of whatever you're thinking of doing! You'll always come out on top!

Any time an engagement ends, it is going to be painful, and an emotional roller coaster. However, it is much better to end things before the wedding ceremony, than after.

While it may not always seem like it, I am sure you have been a light in the life of your family and friends. You may need to take more from your friends and family than you are giving right now, but there will be plenty of time to give back more than you take.

Take the time you need to put your life back together, and to figure out what you want to do next. It is better to deal with the emotions now than to try to bury them so that you can appear to quickly move on with your life.

Good Luck and God Bless!

I feel like I mess my family's life up. Everyone tells me that my family gets along fine when I'm at school, it almost makes me want to stay there over all of my breaks. But I can't stay away from my dogs for that long, I get depressed. But I never feel like that when I go to meet guys, I don't tell them that I am bi-polar right away because I'm afraid that they will go running in fear that I'm crazy or something, which I'm not. If anything, I think that having someone else to talk to helps me a lot... I know that I'm happier when I've got someone who cares about me like that.

Note to self.........

you need some change in your life , self confidence , self esteem , life is ups and downs , never feel guilty for failed relationship , dont blame yourself the other side who is to blame he manages to make you feel that you are acting badly , , if you keep viewin any step you take in life as failure ,you will start lookin down at yourself nevr let that happen , try to bring some change to your life that give it meaning and more of that is havin strong personality that can take the rite decision in the crucial situation ,

thank you all so much... you are wonderful people...