"i had to grow a lot younger then most people but i glad i did."

That's a neat little trick I'd like to learn.

"if your the right person you might think your in heaven: know seriousle i won't someone that likes to snuggel and is not affraid to let there feelings show. is it you? lets find out, won't to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

You have no idea how much I won't to.

"I am excited about the path my life is heading in today as I write this introduction."

...but I'm bipolar and will be crying in my beer momentarily.

"I demand total honesty."

Ok, I don't like your hair, your lazy eye makes me think someone is creeping up behind me, and when you're tired your lisp becomes much more pronounced.

"I have an ex-husband that I don't hate or want to kill. I just don't want him with me."

Already we have something in common. I don't want him with me either.

"I like to sing, and just have fun... I love to laugh!
I work at a hotel, at the front desk.
I am expecting my first baby in June.
I like to watch funny movies, but i Hate scary movies!"


Wait, wait, wait.... What was that part about working at a hotel?

"This is like an interview. What should I say? What should I not say?"

Really it's more like a resume. If it were an interview I would have had somebody page me with an 'emergency' in the middle of it.

"?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
???YOU FIGURE IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


Your keyboard is stuck?

"I am not a tour guide and not into casual dating! "

I was wondering why I didn't see your profile on adulttourguidefinder.com

"Im bored."

I think I've seen your posts here.

"I am tired of falling asleep in front of the TV most nights."

Have you tried moving your tv?

"I am interested in friendship and relationship with nice gentileman that is fun, caring, not selfish and someone to laugh with and have tactile actual kisses an cuddles."


Non-tactile kissing and cuddling is a bit of a farce, really.

"I REALLY LIKE TO BE INSPIRED BY SOMEONE AND THAT DOES NOT COME OFTEN!! "

(edit edit edit edit edit) I just can't.

"i lake to meet nice end kaint man wich looking in lafe seryosly.newa laeng end onest romantik who nous wat hi wont in lafe wich love childrens end dont haw bad atichiut"


This has to be some sort of record....

"I want live the life, the time run and no wait."

The "let's get it over with already" philosophy.

"i am very opening minded about all things."

As any writer will tell you, and I'm sure Lex will agree, a good opening is vital.

But when opening the minded, it is essential to avoid bruising the corpus callosum.

Or perhaps tried falling asleep behind it?

Ohhh but you DID you DID!!
You can go ANY DIRECTION you want with that now can't you??
Just think what the sentence would be without the "and" in there...

Good Lord that cracked me up. My neighbors are probably wondering what the hell is going on.

I find the antisemitism rather bemusing as well...