Thanks for a little swupport there prussia

If you love someone you should never cheat on them at all.. if you were
drunk that is no exuse ethier... i know i have made that mistake to many
times.

you are welcome OS :^)... Life is Life, eh *Cheers*

Back at ya

very simple question.NO

That is exactly my point Crash :^)

only at Monopoly..hey I was tryng to build an empire..

I am one who also says there is no excuse for it. And there isn't. But
it happens. And it would be EXTREMELY difficult for me to be able to
trust that person again. They would have to prove to me beyond a
"shadow" of a doubt that it would never happen again and, even then, I
don't think anything could ever be the same as it was before. Maybe...in
time.

But I can't in all good conscience continue to punish and berate someone
who admitted to their wrongdoing and who was wholeheartedly trying their
best to right that wrong. Lack of ability to forgive and to heal is a
bad thing, too.

But some people..single or couples...actually CONDONE cheating; they
encourage it. Or even in the case of one person cheating...they are very
nonchalant about it, saying "it didn't mean anything." THOSE are the
true cheaters and wouldn't know what the word "commitment" meant if it
slapped them upside the head.

Is there any chance, anywhere, that something BETTER could come out of 2
peoples mistakes, when they agree they were both wrong & they both
decided that THEY were more important than anything else in the world.

Last time; NEVER SAY NEVER

You might be cutting off your nose to spite your face.

MY & only MY OPINION

I was kinda hoping you'd say "thanks for the support," OS. Oh well. I
tried.

Hell no.

I've haven't had sex in 6 years because I refuse to cheat on my wife who
is in a coma. When I hear about cheating and then think about my
situation....it gets me all fired up.

People either have never felt true love or are just weak minded.

some people have no self respect.

some people dont know how to get out of a relationship.

there are many reasons why people cheat. Its wrong and should not
happen.

End the relationship first, it saves a ton of hurt and turmoil.

I agree that cheating is unjustifiable, but I've seen very little in
this topic about forgiveness. I'm not a cheater and I doubt I ever will
be, but let's flip it around. If I'm dating a woman and we've been
together long enough that it's understood that we are committed to each
other, but for some reason she strays, to merely say "there's no excuse"
leaves very little margin for remorse and forgiveness. People aren't
perfect and, in general, it's the imperfections about people that we
really love. It's the imperfections that make us unique.

I would probably forgive any cheating, even repeatedly, if I were
convinced she truly had weak moments that led to infidelity. Why?
Because chances are, if she doesn't want to leave me, she also doesn't
intend to hurt me. Also, if she's cheating, I need to look at myself
and figure out what she craves that I'm not giving her. Am I distant?
emotionally unavailable? insensitive as a lover? Infidelity doesn't
"just happen" and is rarely one person's fault. (That said, I know a
lot of real jerks who don't care for their partners at all and cheat all
the while. Those relationships have much deeper problems than sexual
infidelity, however.)

As an aside, celibacy (even with masturbation) doesn't work for
everyone. Some people crave the touch of a lover so strongly that a
year apart would be absolute torture. I'm thinking specifically of
military spouses (or significant others) who, alone for a year or
longer, turn to someone else for physical and emotional comfort. It
doesn't mean they don't love their spouses or that they want a long-term
relationship with anyone else, but these interludes provide them with
something important they are missing. And, sometimes, the other spouse
gives his or her approval. (Granted, that isn't really cheating if you
have your spouse's approval — there's no betrayal of trust in that
case.)

My point is, everyone has flaws and everyone makes mistakes. If there
is true remorse and a genuine effort to rebuild the trust that has been
damaged, I think everyone is entitled to forgiveness.

Just my two cents worth...

A little daylight in a dark area.

THANKS

If you are in love and it is real you dont want no one else and can not
think of anyone else in that way.

There is no excuse for it ever

NEVER... i would never want to do anything that i would be ashamed to
tell my kids about. i would rather have self respect than sexual
gratification.

ressserts, i'd have to say i totally disagree with you. If someone
continues to engage in wrong behavior, there is no justification for it.
Claiming "weakness" is a rather, well, "weak" excuse.

DS, I admire you for your values with your wife she is one lucky lady to
have you by herside. My prayers are with you may she wake up to see your
face and the wonderful man she has.


Ressets, you do bring up alot of very good points. But... now just
because most think there is no excuses for cheating never said we could
not or would not forgive them for what they did just can't forget it. My
ex is an ex for cheating more than once in the last two years we were
together I tried to make it work he would not even try. Sorry that was
15 years ago I have forgave him for what he did but I will have not
forgot it. As of today we are on talking terms and we never bring that
up. He did finally after about 4 years later admitted to one of our
friends that he was wrong and it was not me at all. But... was way too
late at that point. Yeah everyone makes mistakes but some mistakes are
much harder to deal with than others.

Alot of you already know my story, so I wont get into details.


There was absolutely no excuse to cheat on me, I know that.

It was a lack of morals, on her part.

She got what she wanted and then she did what she wanted to.

Her loss. Money isnt everything.

Nope, I'm drawing a distinction with justifying behavior and keeping the
door open for forgiveness. If my partner cheats on me (not a lot of
times, which would clearly show no indication of remorse on her part,
but up to a few times), I'm not going to assume she's an evil person and
hate her forever. Further, I probably have to share in some of the
blame if I haven't been availble to her in the ways I should be (not
just sexually). Over half of all men cheat or have cheated (I'm not one
of them), and nearly half of women cheat or have cheated. If we don't
allow for remorse and forgiveness, we are saying that half of the people
walking around are just evil people. I believe that there are a few
very bad people, and a lot of people who have fallen during a moment of
weakness. I would never tell other people they _must_ forgive an
infidelity, but if we don't leave the door open for that forgiveness, we
may find ourselves turning our backs on a relationship very much worth
salvaging. Relationships are difficult, and we (in contemporary
society) tend to give up on them when things don't go just right. Had
my my uncles and aunts given up on their marriages because of an
occasional infidelity, most of them wouldn't be together today. But as
it is, they worked through it and most have loving, trusting
relationships with each other again. We live in a very lonely time
(statistically, according to many studies and collective psycological
data), so I'd say we as a society are doing something wrong. I merely
think this may be one of those areas that needs extra care, rather than
to be dismissed too quickly.