Absolutely..

I've dated guys that I wasn't physically attracted to.. AT ALL.. but nice guys that deserved a chance.. but.. when the time came to kiss.. sometimes I just couldn't do it.. so if Im shallow or whatever then so be it.. but if I can't kiss them and enjoy it.. I can't continue it...

Sitka, my response wasn't directed at your comment ( even though I still won't totally buy that line of thinking from any woman ). It was directed toward Singme based on an earlier conversation the two of us had a little while ago.

Yes.....the same for me. I've dated one man.... a good man...a man I wanted so badly to like and love but....nothing....no physical attraction whatsoever. There was no way I could go through life without at least some spark. It's too bad because he's now married and it's a wonderful marriage...I envy his wife...not becasue she has him....I don't want him.....but because she has the happiness he brings her that I couldn't get from him.

I won't say it's not a consideration -- only that I wouldn't use it as an incontrovertible deal-breaker.

I have other criteria that pretty much eliminate 112% of the female population, in general, from consideration, and 178% of the female population on this site!

...hey look....by hitting quote I learned how you changed colors .....Did I do it...did it work?

If 100% equals all the female population and you eliminated 112% of the population....then you're eliminating the unborn. .... I'm sure you're just exaggerating .....maybe. Now about your profile.....

Ouch Lex.

I believe that a man or woman can transcend most phyiscal flaws by their intelligence, their self confidence, their compassion, their ability to see beyond themselves, and optimistic attitude. With all that being said, I do have a physical deal breaker; the teeth. Must have them.

I didn't mean it would go both ways. If you and only you had the brain defect I mentioned would you then have an easier time finding a mate? Are you sure there aren't thousands of women out there that might think you look handsome but they are not considered by you because you can't see past their physical appearance.
I'm just trying to get some different points of views from men.....I hope I'm not coming of as hostile because I'm not. Just prodding you is all. See, big smile>>>

Maybe slightly -- the practical effect is the same. 108% is not really statistically very different from 112%.

Eliminating the unborn from the "pool" saves time later on, too.



Meh -- it is what it is. People love it or they hate it. It doesn't change anything either way.

um...I am only aroused by her spirit, because I've seen/met many "hot bodies" and learned that the charm/spirit must be there along with the physical grace.

I'm not into making excuses for why people's minds are not able to control their basic physical form. Lack of care is simply lack of care, or disbelief that it obviously matters.
IMO

So--the spirit must be right to click with me, in addition to basic good care of oneself.

The guy was meant in fun and I apologize if it came out differently. See ...him again>

I believe that too, provided -- and this is the snag -- that there's someone else willing to see things that way.

What I've found on dating sites is that people -- men AND women -- tend to say the things they think they're "supposed" to say, in order to avoid the appearance of being shallow, etc.

But, for every 100 women you see here posting that they want an intelligent, funny, understanding guy, I'd guess that 90 of them are actually looking for a guy with a big hole in his back where they can attach a steering wheel to him.

Intelligence simply does not play well on dating sites. It's too "non-mainstream" of a trait.

No problem! I just meant that I get a LOT of comments about the profile. Some good, some bad. I don't much care either way. Not directed at you at all.

I wish I could say the same scoundrel.....it would make my life easier if I could get past some men's lack of attractiveness.



I really like this smiley...... He reminds me of my baby brother.

No, because everyone has their own flaws and discrepencies and personal demons, regardless of how they look. Even the sweet sweet people.

Some people actually are blind to it. I cant remember the name of the condition, or much about it at all for that matter, but there are people who find it impossible to recognise faces. I remember a sad programme about a young girl that couldnt recognise her own mother if she was standing right next to her. The best she could do was recognise the general shape of her.




Edit - it is called Prosopagnosia, or Face Blindness

http://www.prosopagnosia.com/

I totally agree with you. I have wondered myself what the hell am I doing on these sights (pof an yahoo especially). The equivalent to the "meat market" dance clubs. I have found Mingle to sustain my focus because of the threads. I have found a few gems of interesting, articulate, witty, kind-hearted people that have stirred me.

in that case, it would still probably make things easier, but to be honest, i dont judge anybody until i get to know them. iv dated some very ugly women, but because i knew the real them it was ok for me. didnt work out in the end for other reasons that we wont go into here, but yeah. thats my opinion. and you didnt sound hostile. whisperss

I understand that there are many dilemmas that are unique to each of us. Adding the effects of aging into the mix demands even more of true trust and bonding--devotion and commitment--that is very much more intimate than I knew during the decades of devil-may-care youth.

Challenges include fading vision, fading hearing, hair loss, dental works, poor memory, and myriad other things.

If success is not already banked and secure, then the mental and physical demands of work/career are a heavy task, and those things are calculated into the judgment of choosing to date and to become worthy of a person's hope and trust.

Your question about the priorities of character above the physical attraction is especially true among mature people.
The consistency of a person's character shows in their care for their own life in preparation for the latter half of life.
Even with forethought, the later forties and early fifties can be astonishing to some people, for it starts life anew, and is often marked by internal/psychological changes that seem uncharacteristic to the individual.

I apologize for such lengthy response, but you seem to have genuine interest and thoughtful reasoning.

Well first of all I am glad I have never cared about mainstream nor have I ever fit into a box...
Second of all to my physical attractiveness can be so many things it can be as little as a smile that lights up his entire being.
While we are being really honest here I personally will be more open to an average looking man than I will a drop dead gorgeous man. A really drop dead gorgeous man will have to work so hard to get close to me let alone a date. Been there done that.
In my 20's sure I dated eye candy in my 30's and up till now I want the person I want the person that is real.

Lengthy responses are fine scoundrel.....and I say the same to the others responding. I enjoy thoughtful topics and a good discussion. Truthfully though.... judging from from the amount of game topics and non topic topics I see abound on the mingle2 forum..... I might be out of place here and soon you'll all get tired of me. I'll have to find other forums in which to rant.