Don't be blue Celtic....your next...heheehehehe

Not sure that it will solve anything lil honey but, What could it hurt to try?

Men and why they don't think like women........."In Your Face"





ladies the truth and why you shouldn't want to change them.


These are few things from just my observation....so of course

audience participation is required if you don't think true

or

whatever.




We lie.

But it's not as bad as it sounds. Generally, we do it to make you feel good or avoid trouble. Were you really looking for the truth when you asked: "Does this make my butt look big?" We think your butt looks great. Everything you try on looks "great." Let's leave it at that.


We're insecure --

just like you. This seems obvious, but since men tend not to open up about their feelings, it may be hard to actually recognize. We want to feel wanted and needed. Throw us an occasional compliment, ask us to help you do something manly or laugh at our dumb jokes. Pointing out our imperfections is painful for us, too, so take it easy when addressing our growing beer belly, receding hairline or bedroom prowess.


Your body is sexy.

Fitness is sexy. You don't have to be built like a ballerina to turn us on, but the fact that you take care of yourself is important. Plus, we love seeing you in your sexy little workout clothes and we're hoping that when you get home from the gym you'll suggest we "hit the showers" together.


The eyes have it.

We think you're sexy, remember? Sometimes our eyes wander, but that doesn't mean we're planning on straying. It's unnatural for a man to ignore a beautiful woman -- it's science. So, if you catch your man ogling another beauty, don't point out all her imperfections and call her a "skank." Jealousy is not pretty.


Acceptable actions for you to take:

Punch him in the arm, make a smartass comment about her outfit, say "You wish," start ogling a handsome man in the area, suggest a threesome (then add "you wish") or anything else that's shows you're confident and can laugh off a faux pas as trivial as our naturally wandering eyes.


We're always ready for sex --

always. That's pretty much it on that one. So, feel free to initiate whenever you're feeling randy. And remember ladies this is the way they show they care....so don't think it's makes them a hopeless pig. It's primortal in them to find conquer and have sex.



Subtle is lost on us.

This is one that always seems to baffle women I know. "I flipped my hair, smiled and touched my neck, how could he not know I'm interested?" Because he doesn't get subtle clues, as a matter of fact, subtle is all but lost on the male species. So if you want to know if he likes you.....Get in his face and say DO YOU LIKE ME!!!!!Blunt and honest is the key.

I'm not sure why this is,

but if you want something, you may just have to ask directly. Is it as fun as dropping hints about what you want for your anniversary and being surprised when you don't get it? Maybe not, but it will eliminate a great deal of miscommunication. SAME RULE APPLIES AS ABOVE....WANT IT ASK DAMMIT.

Cookies, cakes and the kitchen.

When you cook for us, it's the sexiest thing ever. We love food and we love women, so a woman who can feed us pretty much covers all the bases. Watching you cook is better foreplay than pretty much anything, unless you're cooking wearing only an apron, then it is the best foreplay -- ever.


You don't really want to know what we're thinking.

Men's minds, like their eyes, tend to wander. You ask, "What are you thinking?" And you get a blank stare. It's not because we're not thinking anything, but because we know you don't care about the finger points of a 3-4 defense, who would win in a fight between a ninja and a pirate (ninja, in case you're wondering), or how many hot dogs we think we could eat in 20 minutes. So, when we reply, "How beautiful you are…" Just accept it.

Directions?

We don't need no stinkin' directions! We don't ask for directions because we like to solve problems, it makes us feel accomplished. Half the fun of going somewhere is the trip, so getting lost and finding our way back is a big part of the fun of going to your coworker's birthday party. We're explorers by nature; let us have our great expedition -- even if it makes us late. You can blame us for being late -- we don't mind.

Stop asking,

"Where is this going?" We don't know. We know where we hope this will go, but we're not going to stop and ask for directions. You have a right to ask this at some point as the relationship develops, but we're trying to enjoy the trip, not rush to the destination. Asking will just make us feel pressured, so just skip this question all together and enjoy the ride.

We really just want to make you happy,

that's all. More often than not, we'll do the right thing, but take it easy on us when we act like the cavemen we are, at least we're trying.

Holly is a hottie for sure Jim. I say we settle this like gentlemen and play a game of quarters by bouncing them off her booty to see who gets her...

I was just trying to figure out how bouncing quarters off someone's butt was going to solve anything

Oont decides to grab his club and join in on the fun...



Exes? How far back do we go? How about the beginning....


When Oont slimed his way out of the primordial high school swamp, Cherie, his first club victim, broke up with him over the smoke signal fire... said in her smoke signal to Oont that she had met someone else... Oont attempted suicide, but came to Jesus instead... religion was invented.


Later in the high school primordial swamp, Oont discovered Lisa, who clubbed HIM and took him back to her cave. She found out Oont was a virgin, so she (quote) "had to have him"... after getting pregnant with Oont's triplets, decides to have an abortion because "she wants her freedom"... leaves Oont standing outside of a dinoburger restaturant. End of story with Lisa. She only cheated on Oont three times while they were going together. Oont being the understanding idiot that he was, figured it was time to move on, grabbed a dinoburger, and went home.


Post primordial swamp high school, Oont met Kim when he was selling hemp sticks down at the river edge. Kim got pregnant, too. One time when Oont traveled to the western side of the world on a bug hunt, through smoke signals he told Kim he was on his way home. Kim answered back that she had met somebody else and was planning to get married. Oont in turn pounded his club into the earth, and then drug his knuckles back to the cave.


Seven years passed by before Oont mated again.


Oont made the deathly mistake of getting his honey where he made his money. Since money had not yet been invented, he just piled it up on top of all of the other dead carcasses in his cave. He found out Yolanda was mating with several of the other cavemen at the money pit. Oont decides that mating is not much fun.


Ten years later Oont is in prime physical condition and captures a cavewoman and settles down with her 5 cave children. Oont had never had step cave children before and thought it was cool. He went on a long hunt and sent all of his beaver skins back home to Karen his wife. Oont made sure all of his step cave children had their degrees in cave painting. One day Oont receives a smoke signal from his second oldest step cave son informing Oont that Karen's ex-caveman was moving back to Oonts village and that Karen's oldest son, Justin, was moving out of Oont's cave for the first time, and getting a cave of his own with Gene, Karen's ex-caveman. Oont pounds his club into the earth. Karen volunteers to fall prey to Gene's club while Oont is out on the hunt. Oont comes home and pounds his club againts the cave door, but it doesn't help. Oont figures Karen is a cave sl-ut and pounds his club into the ground. Finally, Oont packs up his belongings on a horse cart and heads far to the north where the winters are brutal, and the cavewomen will leave him alone.


Now Oont lives in his cave in the north by himself. Other cave people often wander by, but Oont has grown savage and easily scares off all of the other cave people. His hair has grown longer, and he has been befriended by a cave dog named Koko. Oont is happy being a recluse. He paints dinosaurs on his cave walls, and kills fresh meat daily. He threw his club in the Grand River years ago, and has no intention of ever retrieving it.


Oont reasoned that the best way to not be affected by cheating exes is to not be involved with clubbings of cave women. Being single is easier to deal with than the confusion in the cave brain when another cave man clubs Oont's woman, and the woman goes to be with another cave man.


One day Oont will be a millionaire cave man. He invented a thing called a "university" where cave people from all over the continent come to study cave drawings with Oont. One day cave women will want Oont again, but he will not raise his club for them anymore. Oont has found peace and serenity as a single cave man. He has also determined cave women are a threat much like the saber-toothed tiger and falling in the fire he invented three years ago. He still has scars from both.


Oont travels his world alone now. Ocassionally stopping by the smoke signal fire to say hello to the other cavemen. In fact, he got a job for a while as a smoke signal engineer. At the smoke signal parties, Oont calls himself... "SmokesignalMan".

Sits quietly on the couch an watches the whole thing.

Sits next to shadow.."Want an Oreo?"

Sits next to shadow.."Want an Oreo?"

ok thanks just be careful i have a cold

"Got milk?"

((((((((((((((((((((jim))))))))))))) aka woody seeing how i know more then one jim now lol

Oont op org grunt greet oont, unk unk oont orp op orrrrrg.

Ahh ahh ooo ooo eee eee oont oont. Greet oont, grunt grunt.

<<draws on cave wall some more, it is coming right along....>>

<<invents first wall-mart store, sell cave paints to other cave people>>