It seems we are in a sad state of affairs when we befriend people (some) and they are constantly in need,from asking to borrow money to mere trifling things like books,CD's, begging a ride into town, yet; those very people pretend they do not know you when "the going is good" in their quarter. They somehow forget who you are, this has been my experience with some of my "needy" friends. I am not making reference to anyone here,but in real life, these are people who profess to be friends.I am in the process of doing some much needed "emotional weeding" ......getting rid of the hangers'-on.Have you had too do emotional weeding lately? Is it your opinion that we as a society no longer care for and about each other?

Most people are only looking out for themselves,, what can i get that i need? They dont stop to think that when someone else needs help that at once time or another they were in need too.

morning bonniemiss,, last years resolution," do not let any negative people into my life", and I have been able to do that pretty much...

I hear ya!!! And the ones that ire me the most are the friends who only contact me when they are between relationships, like they forget all about me when they have someone, but then expect me to get all excited when they are free again and want to go bar hopping.... So they can FIND another guy and ignore me all over again until next time!?? Screw it!!! Ahhhh, felt good to vent!!!

morning thumper

Did that just a little while back...it is very liberating. You can't help opening up your heart...just gotta keep your eyes open, too...

Hey Ms Fox and Bonny,,, how are yall this morning

I had to turn my back on my best friend a couple years back. My peace of mind was in need of repair. He turned out to be an evil man.

Sad that we have to do this at times but our own sanity has to be looked after if we want to still be there for those who truly appreciate our sacrifices made on their behalf.

I give if I have. It truly is better to give than receive.

This is true...but either way, in the forefront I did a good deed...the karma off that alone will last me a lifetime, even if it only lasts them 15 minutes.

I don't mind doing anything for anybody but it does amaze me how some when they no longer need you don't even come around till they need something again. Myself once that seems to be a pattern with someone and the only time they come around is when they need something I tend to quit offering to help them.

Those to me are only out for themselves and they could care less about anyone but themselves it is best to cut the ties with those kind.

Certain people have this personality type. There are several terms and explanations for the underlying causes for it that are based in clinical psychology but I wont go into all of that. The needs and requests do not always revolve around tangible items either but can be emotionally based.

With your situation in particular you need to do what feels right for you in response to this and cut some of these people loose. I would also question why it is that you have so many "emotional vampires" in your life? You are perhaps attracting these people and placing yourself in a compromised position of sorts to which they will most certainly take advantage of over and over again.

I would do some soul searching first and foremost.

these are broken people. in an attempt to forget the past they pretend it did not occur - a self-defeating self-defense, which makes it virtually impossible for them to love and be loved is sad indeed but not hopeless. we will be re-reading "A Christmas Carol" soon.

this is where our philosophical viewpoint is most useful - in knowing the genuine problems that they face...we forgive and refocus our attentions on those who are capable of receiving and returning our love - and recognize always the origin of the altruistic impulse which inspires us to help others.

this is our gift. helping others only for the sake of being human and good. it is true that sometimes this gift is not appreciated - yet it is a worthwhile endeavor and is always understood and cherished by others who have the ability to understand.

charity and kindness will elevate you always.

((Bonny))

many
evaluations
accumulates
nastiness

----------------

what does that say

you tell me; hay

i have not a clue

its up to you

I have always experienced people like this. People tend to use kindness as a weakness. I really do not enjoy having to get almost mean with someone to protect myself! I always trust that if I do what is right that everything will be fine then find myself in a situation of being the bad guy!
Recently a person I go to school with has been extremely needy. I am the only person left in the class who will do anything for her. She stayed at my house for over 3 wks(just this semester alone). My only complaint about the whole thing was when I told her she couldnt come this last week of school- My daughter and I are extremely sick- she never even called or texted to say 'are you okay?' I even told her we had been in the ER. I really have done a lot for this person. Ironically she claims to be very religious and would give the shirt off her back for someone.....yea, my shirt off her back! LOL
Oh well- I am a nice person. Just thought I'd share my story. I have weeded out people by careful just stepping back and not letting my self be so available to their very needy demand!
Good luck w/ your weeding BonnyMiss

This is very true,I hate to say it but family acts this way. They only call when they need or want.

Soul searching you say? hmm, well I have done this a thousand times over and always come to the same conclusion, I help others because it is my Christian duty to do so, I was raised to help others less fortunate than myself, that said, I also give people so much rope, then I jerk it back!I give of myself fully when I do give,be it emotionally or materially.

The soul searching remark was in addressing why it would appear that you are drawing these types of people to you.

Good morning Miss Silverfox.

Self preservation kicks in after your heart has been stomped on too many times.

I have had to do this several times in my life. But rest assured that there are good people out there, just few and far between.

Society has, as a whole, become numb to the old ways of helping out a nieghbor or a stranger and paying it forward.

Bonny, sometimes the people that don't give back are the ones that need our help the most. They just don't see it that way when you need help. In the end, you did the right thing by helping them.

Besides, you do walk away with a feeling of accomplishment even if they are ungrateful.