Dear JAG,

You know where I can get an engine for my Sassy, my 2001 Saturn SC2?
signed,
Chick That Didn't Check Oil

Ok. I'm bewildered and at my wits end. Sorry this isn't a relationship question

My mum, (please forgive me for i know this sounds bratty and disrespectful) has the maturity level and reasoning capacity of a temper tantrum throwing 5 year old. She lashes out verbally at the slightest of life's inconveniences or at being met with the realization of one of her own shortcomings, and i get the brunt of it.

My older sister (who is 32) whom i respect as an extremely intelligent and level headed, pragmatic individual, accepts that my mum is not the stablest of personalities and implores upon me to be the bigger person because my mum has had a difficult life which causes her to be defensive and angry... which i earnestly attempt to do.

But..

My other sister, 25, has the same temperament as my mother and due to some sort of sibling rivalry complex she seems to have, has detested me from birth, bullying me as a child for reasons that remain a mystery ( my hypothesis is that she was jealous of the new baby, which i was, and has resented not being the youngest anymore all my life) My response was to ignore her the best i could and live my life as even from a very young age i realized she is not the most mature of individuals either. The commonality of personality they share (my mother and 24 yr old sister), resulted in the formation of a bond between them. Therefore my sister's bullying that has been meted out to me all my life has been passed on to my mum, and they form some sort of a "hate-jasmine-and-temper-tantrum-throwing-lash-out-at-the-world" tag team or clique.

I am held to higher standards than my 24 yr old sister. And am criticized and yelled at more than said sister. I am given daily chores that must be fulfilled or else i am made to feel like the worst person imaginable... while said sister has no responsibilities beyond what she feels like doing on a particular day. Should my sister and i commit a similar infraction, i am reprimanded heavily, while my sister is not. When i point out these disparities my mum replies with some variation of "this is why you will get no where in life, you are always looking at other people". and that is the extent to which this disparity is addressed.

My 32 year old sister is largely above it all and remains impartial. My mother listens to her and respects her opinion as much as i do. She pretty much officiates between the squabbles, but more often than not her determination is that i have to be the bigger person and let things slide.

I admit, i am not perfect. I'm easy going and pretty much endeavor to be like my oldest sister who is cool and lives her life with a remarkable ability to shut out negativity and fulfill her dreams and happiness, but I do retaliate to my treatment with sarcasm and rudeness on occasion which i fear only exacerbates the situation...

How do people generally navigate such a situation without losing sanity. It is not particularly fun being the psychological and verbal punching bag of a parent while my other 3 siblings are spared.

perhaps i should just drop uni, get a job and live on my own?



...meh... thanks for listening... just venting to you helped



Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to JAG and all the JAG friends!!!!!

Life has gotten so busy lately I haven't had time to hop in here much. Miss you all!!

Mingle 2 has been kind to me this Holiday season......I have met a wonderful man. Who would have thunk it right? I am happier than I have been in a long, long time. (I know, I know...quit being all sappy Heather)

JustAGuy, I want to thank you for all of your advice, support and most of all your friendship. There are also lots of others that come right here to post that have become friends as well. I have no idea what the future holds for me, but I'm sure looking forward to finding out. I wish you all joy, prosperity and happiness in the New


Year.









Hey that is great news Heather!



Cheers to 2009 as we continue to form friendships and share laughs and love.

Wow, jag we might just roll this over before the new year!Are you looking forward to o9?

I just wanted to wish JAG and the regulars(Ruth,Galendgirl,Heather) and everyone on this thread...........

A Very Merry Christmas.

I'm pretty sure we'll be able to roll it in a week.

I'm not looking forward to 09 any more than I did 08.

What's a matter jag do you want to lie on the couch?

Nahh. I'm fine.

I just wanted to wish JAG and the regulars(Ruth,Galendgirl,Heather) and everyone on this thread...........

A Very Merry Christmas.

I don't live in a metro area........but I can see from your posts you are a career driven gal and I think the big cities will have more opportunities for you. I also think the stimulation of a big city would be great for you. You are smart, talented and creative! Big city life could so be your playing ground. Not to mention those professional men would be easier to find....hehe.

On the other hand, maybe small town life would appeal to your nurturing side. A quiet cozy place to retreat to after a long day where you can work on those projects you are always making.

I could see you in both scenarios girl!!!

Nothing is there.

Same as every year. None.