Topic: Friends with benefits?
no photo
Wed 11/26/08 01:49 PM

I have had arrangements like this in the past but will never do it again. I am the kind of guy that has a lot of emotion behind my actions. If I am in a "friends with benefits" relationship, it makes it very hard for me and usually the other person to move on with life. In short, it draws out the inevitable. If I can't have all of someone (mind, body, and soul) I won't be interested in just the body. That's just the way I work. Lots of guys can turn their emotions off and consider it just a physical act, but I have never been good at that. If I have a physical relationship with a person it is because there is much more there than that.


I thought that way before. But, I guess depending on who the person might be, it could work out for something short term.

valentino71's photo
Wed 11/26/08 01:57 PM
IT really boils down to the people involved. It can be a difficult situation to put yourself in and can add problems to your already hectic life. The big question would be are you both mentally and emotionally mature enough to have that type of freindship.

Skad's photo
Wed 11/26/08 08:15 PM

I have had arrangements like this in the past but will never do it again. I am the kind of guy that has a lot of emotion behind my actions. If I am in a "friends with benefits" relationship, it makes it very hard for me and usually the other person to move on with life. In short, it draws out the inevitable. If I can't have all of someone (mind, body, and soul) I won't be interested in just the body. That's just the way I work. Lots of guys can turn their emotions off and consider it just a physical act, but I have never been good at that. If I have a physical relationship with a person it is because there is much more there than that.


Now that... is a sexy man..

jtmcdole's photo
Wed 11/26/08 08:18 PM
Alright, time for me to get down and dirty with some info. I had this arrangement a while ago (2004) after coming out of a bad relationship. What happened was simple; I had a crush on the girl earlier (I'm loyal to no exception, so I made no moves even while in a bad relationship where the other person wasn't so loyal); after that fell apart I started hanging out with the person more often. One major ice storm later and a comfy fire, she starts making some moves. One things leads to another and she lays down the fwb clause. Things progress for a few months, lots of booty, and hell, this was a serious ego boost after watching my 3 year relationship fall apart. Then it gets weird. I'm a stubborn SOB, I'll stick to any contract until its renegotiated, but she started developing emotions for me.

Long story short, she introduced me to my wife. I was the innocent bystander as my fwb tried to hook up with my (future) wife and used me as the bait, and while my (future) wife used my fwb as bait to get me in the sac. laugh

Morale of the story: someone always gets attached, and this is the make or break point.

Alas, due to tragic circumstances I'm back on here, trying to keep my head above board and return back to the noble / knightly / boy scout way of life :) Good luck to everyone else in the endeavours!

Adrenaline's photo
Wed 11/26/08 09:35 PM


Now that... is a sexy man..


Thx babe happy

breathless1's photo
Wed 11/26/08 09:43 PM
FWB?

Stupid concept! Never works. Never will.

Except for those who just seek the momentary gratifation concept.

If that's what you seek, then just stay in the moment...but use protection, so me and others don't hafta bust our blue balls WORKING while you stand pregnant in the welfare line because you had to "work it". flowerforyou

ladyliz1417's photo
Thu 11/27/08 05:58 AM
I have never had a FWB although a couple of my female friends said I should. I just dont feel comfortable with that situation. Someone is gonna get emotionally involved and get hurt. I've had enough heartbreak and I sure don't want to hurt anyone else. So I'll just do wothout for now......

njmom05's photo
Thu 11/27/08 06:07 AM
It only works if you can keep your heart out of it. I have to have some sort of "chemistry" or feelings for the other person. It makes it hard if one or the other needs to end things. I did it once 5 years ago when my marriage was ending and needed the ego boost. The guy I was with was amazing, we were both in the same situation and needed the same thing from each other. Both single parents, both out of a bad situation. It worked for us then, but I am not sure I'd want to do it again. Hell, maybe just get me a sugar daddy! laugh

Krimsa's photo
Thu 11/27/08 06:30 AM

Someone I know here is thinking about proposing it to someone. I wrote an "indecent proposal" letter for someone once and she got what she wanted.

SOOOOO ...

Have you ever come right out and asked someone for such an arrangement - by email OR verbally?

Try to keep it clean ... but help me convince her to "just do it!" pitchfork


Being the assertive woman that I am, I have indeed slept with a man with absolutely no intention of the relationship continuing beyond that point. In fact, I took the initiative, made the arrangements to meet, picked him up and we had sex. It was quite mercenary if you want to know the truth. happy

It is not necessarily a bad thing. I was busy at that point in my life, we were incompatible on an emotional and intellectual level (he worked on a fishing boat and Im a college degree holder) and there is no way the relationship would have progressed beyond that of sexual gratification for the both of us.

I often enjoy a man's company yet will not always feel moved nor compelled to make any sort of commitment to him. I am fiercely independent in that respect.

beachbum069's photo
Thu 11/27/08 07:07 AM


Someone I know here is thinking about proposing it to someone. I wrote an "indecent proposal" letter for someone once and she got what she wanted.

SOOOOO ...

Have you ever come right out and asked someone for such an arrangement - by email OR verbally?

Try to keep it clean ... but help me convince her to "just do it!" pitchfork


Being the assertive woman that I am, I have indeed slept with a man with absolutely no intention of the relationship continuing beyond that point. In fact, I took the initiative, made the arrangements to meet, picked him up and we had sex. It was quite mercenary if you want to know the truth. happy

It is not necessarily a bad thing. I was busy at that point in my life, we were incompatible on an emotional and intellectual level (he worked on a fishing boat and Im a college degree holder) and there is no way the relationship would have progressed beyond that of sexual gratification for the both of us.

I often enjoy a man's company yet will not always feel moved nor compelled to make any sort of commitment to him. I am fiercely independent in that respect.

Pick me Pick me.

beautyfrompain's photo
Thu 11/27/08 07:37 AM

I have had arrangements like this in the past but will never do it again. I am the kind of guy that has a lot of emotion behind my actions. If I am in a "friends with benefits" relationship, it makes it very hard for me and usually the other person to move on with life. In short, it draws out the inevitable. If I can't have all of someone (mind, body, and soul) I won't be interested in just the body. That's just the way I work. Lots of guys can turn their emotions off and consider it just a physical act, but I have never been good at that. If I have a physical relationship with a person it is because there is much more there than that.


Thank God for men like you.

Ruth34611's photo
Thu 11/27/08 07:45 AM
I can't separate out my emotions to be able to do it. for those that can I say "more power to ya and enjoy". drinker

CleanBathroom's photo
Thu 11/27/08 10:45 AM


Someone I know here is thinking about proposing it to someone. I wrote an "indecent proposal" letter for someone once and she got what she wanted.

SOOOOO ...

Have you ever come right out and asked someone for such an arrangement - by email OR verbally?

Try to keep it clean ... but help me convince her to "just do it!" pitchfork


Being the assertive woman that I am, I have indeed slept with a man with absolutely no intention of the relationship continuing beyond that point. In fact, I took the initiative, made the arrangements to meet, picked him up and we had sex. It was quite mercenary if you want to know the truth. happy

It is not necessarily a bad thing. I was busy at that point in my life, we were incompatible on an emotional and intellectual level (he worked on a fishing boat and Im a college degree holder) and there is no way the relationship would have progressed beyond that of sexual gratification for the both of us.

I often enjoy a man's company yet will not always feel moved nor compelled to make any sort of commitment to him. I am fiercely independent in that respect.


I couldn't have created a better answer than this. love

charisma2's photo
Thu 11/27/08 11:22 PM

send her this memo






laugh laugh laugh laugh :wink:

This guy is the biggest male slut on here!!

no photo
Fri 11/28/08 07:07 AM

FWB?

Stupid concept! Never works. Never will.

Except for those who just seek the momentary gratifation concept.

If that's what you seek, then just stay in the moment...but use protection, so me and others don't hafta bust our blue balls WORKING while you stand pregnant in the welfare line because you had to "work it". flowerforyou


Isn't that really the point of it, though? Gratification then and there?

Giocamo's photo
Fri 11/28/08 07:18 AM
Love is so confusing...you tell a woman she looks great...and ...what's the first thing you do...turn out the lights...laugh ...actually I've never had a one night stand in my entire life...like I've said before...the seduction is in the journey...FWB leaves no road to travel...besides...sex complicates matters...thats why I have remained a good Catholic boy for 25 months and counting...gulp !!...and no...I haven't forgotten how...:smile:

Krimsa's photo
Fri 11/28/08 07:20 AM
Who turns out the lights? huh

Giocamo's photo
Fri 11/28/08 07:24 AM

Who turns out the lights? huh


lol...you're right...not me !...

jtmcdole's photo
Fri 11/28/08 07:31 AM

Who turns out the lights? huh


Sure as hell isn't me!

no photo
Fri 11/28/08 01:42 PM

Who turns out the lights? huh


Not me :tongue: