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| Topic: why don't men get it? | |
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Oh we get it. But sometimes, just sometimes, a man who does this kind of thing is considered a " nice " guy. Then doing that stuff suddenly becomes a sign of weakness. Being considerate = being nice = being weak = being a pushover No, it's the self proclaimed nice guys who are the pushovers. Not the guys being considerate and doing little things that would make us smile. 
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for a novel approach ... what if we recognized that each person is an individual and let go of the stereotypes...
...and just for kix we got to know the individual ... what they like, what inspires them, how they feel appreciated ... ...and just maybe we could take responsibility for our own happiness ... so that we could just love and enjoy one another in all the wonderful uniqueness ... ...or maybe that's just me ... 
insert crickets chirping here 
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Edited by
FAK
on
Mon 11/24/08 08:35 PM
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If someone isn't sure about what I like, I'd rather them just ask. See, there is always an exception to the rule. Your mission (should you choose to except it) is to lure the male species into thinking that maybe....just maybe it is ok to ask what a woman wants to make her happy. Right after that, you hear an evil cackle and your pillow hits you in the face. |
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If someone isn't sure about what I like, I'd rather them just ask. See, there is always an exception to the rule. Your mission (should you choose to except it) is to lure the male species into thinking that maybe....just maybe it is ok to ask what a woman wants to make her happy. Right after that, you hear an evil cackle and your pillow hits you in the face. 
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I Hate this damned song!!!
We're flyin' first class Up in the sky Poppin' champagne Livin' my life In the fast lane And I wont change By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy [Chorus:] The glamorous, The glamorous, glamorous By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy The glamorous, The glamorous, glamorous By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy [Verse:] Wear them gold and diamonds rings All them things don't mean a thing Chaperons and limousines Shopping for expensive things I be on the movie screens Magazines and Poseur scenes I'm not clean, I'm not pristine I'm no queen, I'm no machine I still go to Taco Bell Drive through, raw as hell I don't care, I'm still real No matter how many records I sell After the show or after the Grammies I like to go cool out with the family Sippin', reminiscing on days when I had a Mustang And now I'm in... [B-Section:] First class Up in the sky Poppin' champagne Livin' my life In the fast lane And I won't change By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy [Chorus:] The glamorous, The glamorous, glamorous By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy The glamorous, The glamorous, glamorous By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy [Ludacris:] I'm talking Champagne wishes, caviar dreams You deserve nothing but all the finer things Now this whole world has no clue what to do with us I've got enough money in the bank for the two of us Brother gotta keep enough lettuce To support your shoe fetish Lifestyles so rich and famous Robin Leach will get jealous Half a million for the stones Taking trips from here to Rome So If you ain't got no money take yo'broke ass home G-G-L-L-A-A-M-M-O-O-R-R-O-O-U-U-S-S, yeah G-G-L-L-A-A-M-M-O-O-R-R-O-O-U-U-S-S [B-Section:] We flyin' first class Up in the sky Poppin' champagne Livin' the life In the fast lane And I wont change By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy [Chorus:] The glamorous, The glamorous, glamorous By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy The glamorous, The glamorous, glamorous By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy [Verse:] I got problems up to here I've got people in my ear Telling me these crazy things That I don't want to know I got money in the bank And I'd really like to thank All the fans, I'd like to thank Thank you really though Cause I remember yesterday When I dreamt about the days When I'd rock on MTV, that be really dope Damn, It's been a long road And the industry is cold I'm glad my daddy tell me so He let his daughter know. (If you ain't got no money, take your broke home) My daddy told me so (I said, If you ain't got no money, take your broke home) He let his daughter know (If you ain't got no money, take your broke home) My daddy told me so (If you ain't got no money, take your broke home) He let his daughter know |
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Oh we get it. But sometimes, just sometimes, a man who does this kind of thing is considered a " nice " guy. Then doing that stuff suddenly becomes a sign of weakness. Being considerate = being nice = being weak = being a pushover No, it's the self proclaimed nice guys who are the pushovers. Not the guys being considerate and doing little things that would make us smile.
Let me tell you a quick little story. My ex g/f and I were together for a couple of years. I did " nice " things for her like what was described in the OP. What I got for my efforts was " Why would you do this?? " No ' thank you ' or ' that was really sweet '. It was, after a while when I got tired enough of being berated, always down to " You aren't a MAN ". Guess what. The chances of me actually trying to be nice, or considerate went down a ways after that. If doing something for someone you love is going to be ( and keep in mind I say SOMETIMES ) seen as a sign of weakness or " lack of manhood ", then why should I/we bother? Seriously...if a guy is like that....she's gonna be telling her friends and at first they will be jealous and saying how much they would LOVE a guy like that.... But after a while, her friends will start chirping in her ear about how she needs someone with more of an " edge " or more " exciting " in her life. The more they chirp, the more she'll listen. It'll all be downhill from there and the dude will be sitting there with a befuddled look on his face wondering what the hell just happened. |
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I've come to learn that it isn't that they don't know, it's that they don't care.
Now before you get all in a huff... Consider that it isn't just men and it isn't just women. Your determination to woo someone is based on your attraction to them. If you were a woman that inspired that sort of romance in him he would surely follow suit. Not to say you aren't worth that kind of treatment, just not in his eyes. It is what it is. Move on to the next until you find the one who treats you as you please. And let all these "why don't men/women" threads die. They don't because they don't care to, now move along. |
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I've come to learn that it isn't that they don't know, it's that they don't care. Now before you get all in a huff... Consider that it isn't just men and it isn't just women. Your determination to woo someone is based on your attraction to them. If you were a woman that inspired that sort of romance in him he would surely follow suit. Not to say you aren't worth that kind of treatment, just not in his eyes. It is what it is. Move on to the next until you find the one who treats you as you please. And let all these "why don't men/women" threads die. They don't because they don't care to, now move along. That's not entirely accurate. Some of us have just learned that it is only a good thing for a short period of time, if at all. |
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Oh we get it. But sometimes, just sometimes, a man who does this kind of thing is considered a " nice " guy. Then doing that stuff suddenly becomes a sign of weakness. Being considerate = being nice = being weak = being a pushover No, it's the self proclaimed nice guys who are the pushovers. Not the guys being considerate and doing little things that would make us smile.
Let me tell you a quick little story. My ex g/f and I were together for a couple of years. I did " nice " things for her like what was described in the OP. What I got for my efforts was " Why would you do this?? " No ' thank you ' or ' that was really sweet '. It was, after a while when I got tired enough of being berated, always down to " You aren't a MAN ". Guess what. The chances of me actually trying to be nice, or considerate went down a ways after that. If doing something for someone you love is going to be ( and keep in mind I say SOMETIMES ) seen as a sign of weakness or " lack of manhood ", then why should I/we bother? Seriously...if a guy is like that....she's gonna be telling her friends and at first they will be jealous and saying how much they would LOVE a guy like that.... But after a while, her friends will start chirping in her ear about how she needs someone with more of an " edge " or more " exciting " in her life. The more they chirp, the more she'll listen. It'll all be downhill from there and the dude will be sitting there with a befuddled look on his face wondering what the hell just happened. That sucks that she didn't appreciate it. But, don't assume all women are like that. |
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Oh we get it. But sometimes, just sometimes, a man who does this kind of thing is considered a " nice " guy. Then doing that stuff suddenly becomes a sign of weakness. Being considerate = being nice = being weak = being a pushover No, it's the self proclaimed nice guys who are the pushovers. Not the guys being considerate and doing little things that would make us smile.
Let me tell you a quick little story. My ex g/f and I were together for a couple of years. I did " nice " things for her like what was described in the OP. What I got for my efforts was " Why would you do this?? " No ' thank you ' or ' that was really sweet '. It was, after a while when I got tired enough of being berated, always down to " You aren't a MAN ". Guess what. The chances of me actually trying to be nice, or considerate went down a ways after that. If doing something for someone you love is going to be ( and keep in mind I say SOMETIMES ) seen as a sign of weakness or " lack of manhood ", then why should I/we bother? Seriously...if a guy is like that....she's gonna be telling her friends and at first they will be jealous and saying how much they would LOVE a guy like that.... But after a while, her friends will start chirping in her ear about how she needs someone with more of an " edge " or more " exciting " in her life. The more they chirp, the more she'll listen. It'll all be downhill from there and the dude will be sitting there with a befuddled look on his face wondering what the hell just happened. That sucks that she didn't appreciate it. But, don't assume all women are like that. I don't assume that. Hence the use of the word " sometimes ". |
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I've come to learn that it isn't that they don't know, it's that they don't care. Now before you get all in a huff... Consider that it isn't just men and it isn't just women. Your determination to woo someone is based on your attraction to them. If you were a woman that inspired that sort of romance in him he would surely follow suit. Not to say you aren't worth that kind of treatment, just not in his eyes. It is what it is. Move on to the next until you find the one who treats you as you please. And let all these "why don't men/women" threads die. They don't because they don't care to, now move along. That's not entirely accurate. Some of us have just learned that it is only a good thing for a short period of time, if at all. which means you stopped caring...right? |
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It is what it is. exatlly 
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I've come to learn that it isn't that they don't know, it's that they don't care. Now before you get all in a huff... Consider that it isn't just men and it isn't just women. Your determination to woo someone is based on your attraction to them. If you were a woman that inspired that sort of romance in him he would surely follow suit. Not to say you aren't worth that kind of treatment, just not in his eyes. It is what it is. Move on to the next until you find the one who treats you as you please. And let all these "why don't men/women" threads die. They don't because they don't care to, now move along. That's not entirely accurate. Some of us have just learned that it is only a good thing for a short period of time, if at all. which means you stopped caring...right? Nope. I still care. I am just a LOT more cautious about who gets that kind of treatment from me. |
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can't be that hard,simple things that make a woman happy.breakfast in bed,phone call,flowers once a while.how's that.it's not you,get me this or that,your nice car. I have found that this level of consideration only leads to her following me around, trying to stick a steering wheel in my back and chanting, "You are a goat, you must be domesticated." No thanks. |
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I've come to learn that it isn't that they don't know, it's that they don't care. Now before you get all in a huff... Consider that it isn't just men and it isn't just women. Your determination to woo someone is based on your attraction to them. If you were a woman that inspired that sort of romance in him he would surely follow suit. Not to say you aren't worth that kind of treatment, just not in his eyes. It is what it is. Move on to the next until you find the one who treats you as you please. And let all these "why don't men/women" threads die. They don't because they don't care to, now move along. That's not entirely accurate. Some of us have just learned that it is only a good thing for a short period of time, if at all. which means you stopped caring...right? Nope. I still care. I am just a LOT more cautious about who gets that kind of treatment from me. so if you cared more you'd do it...? |
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can't be that hard,simple things that make a woman happy.breakfast in bed,phone call,flowers once a while.how's that.it's not you,get me this or that,your nice car. I have found that this level of consideration only leads to her following me around, trying to stick a steering wheel in my back and chanting, "You are a goat, you must be domesticated." No thanks. it ain't easy bein' a love machine. 
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I've come to learn that it isn't that they don't know, it's that they don't care. Now before you get all in a huff... Consider that it isn't just men and it isn't just women. Your determination to woo someone is based on your attraction to them. If you were a woman that inspired that sort of romance in him he would surely follow suit. Not to say you aren't worth that kind of treatment, just not in his eyes. It is what it is. Move on to the next until you find the one who treats you as you please. And let all these "why don't men/women" threads die. They don't because they don't care to, now move along. That's not entirely accurate. Some of us have just learned that it is only a good thing for a short period of time, if at all. which means you stopped caring...right? Nope. I still care. I am just a LOT more cautious about who gets that kind of treatment from me. so if you cared more you'd do it...? Wow. That's not even close. Caring and caution are two different things. Anyone I am with I would " care " enough about to do stuff like that. The " caution " part comes in because I would be careful to gauge whether or not it would actually be appreciated. |
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Wow. That's not even close. Caring and caution are two different things. Anyone I am with I would " care " enough about to do stuff like that. The " caution " part comes in because I would be careful to gauge whether or not it would actually be appreciated. ok that's fair. I'm not trying to assume I know your intentions I'm saying in my experience and I hadn't looked at it like that I didn't realize there was a woman alive who didn't appreciate such treatment. |
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Wow. That's not even close. Caring and caution are two different things. Anyone I am with I would " care " enough about to do stuff like that. The " caution " part comes in because I would be careful to gauge whether or not it would actually be appreciated. ok that's fair. I'm not trying to assume I know your intentions I'm saying in my experience and I hadn't looked at it like that I didn't realize there was a woman alive who didn't appreciate such treatment. Oh trust me. I know of at LEAST one.
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