Most believe there is a perfect person for them out there in the world. Some call these people soul mates.

However.....
Most people marry people that live near them. People they work with or go to school with...etc. (so says a website on marriage statistics). Look at how many people marry their H.S. sweethearts. I bet most of these people would say their spouse is their true love or soul mate.

So it seems most people's true love or soul mate just happens to live nearby. Really?

Seems to me that we create love, not find it. We find someone who is closest to what we want and then we find things to love about them. We create and build love.

If we really only feel in love with that one perfect person we would have a heck of a time finding that person in this big world. Then they might be married to THEIR soul mate.

What do you think? Are you searching for your one and only soul mate or are you searching for just a good person that you will then create love with?

im not looking for any thing !

Out of 6 billion people I'll bet I have at least a million "soul mates" out there, just not a single one anywhere near me.

I wouldnt ever settle!!!!

love is a word with a definition but you can interpret it anyway you so desire.

kidatheart70
A million soul mates? I've never heard anyone say that before. That would make your job easier.

Good luck. Seriously.

M&M...YOU WROTE THAT SO WELL...YOU MADE ME WONDER...HHMMM

Teresa1901

thx.

It's was the topic of a paper I wrote in High School 3 years ago. I had to get up in front of the class and give a speech on it. I got a 100% on my speech and a 96% on the paper (too many grammatical errors).

Ummm, I might have been exaggerating a little.

I honestly don't believe that there's just one person that would be an ideal match for anyone though. Things have changed since our parents and their parents dated, married and all that. We have too many choices nowadys, and seem to be ultra picky about who we date and end up with, or just pick any random lunatic and give it a go.
Usually with disasterous results.

To kidatheart70. I agree. When we do find someone special it is so easy to meet new people that we are always comparing the person we have found to the new people. Is the grass greener over there type deal.

It's not like the old days where the wife stayed home and the only guy she saw everyday was the mailman. The guys back then didn't see as many other women around because women were not in the work force.

Now we have competition everywhere. We can create love many times if we choose.

really? we can create love many times,eh? interesting...

actually, anyone can "create" anything in their own mind if they so choose...

reality is subjective to the person as well...a matter of perception perhaps...

so, the saying..."if you build it, they will come" seems to fit here...

IF I may ask...would you please site your source...I find it helpful.

thank you~


p.s. I really do not agree with you that a person can "create" love.

lighthouselover..sight my source for what?

I personally feel we can create love (with the right person). My source for that comment is ME. Where you asking about something else?

hi deb


i'm of the belief that love isn't a noun, and cannot be created and/or found.

love is a verb; loving is something that we do.

Hey Lisa!! Great to see you again!!


Ms. Mindy Mindy~
You stated in the post that I quoted that you found the info on a website...that would be your source.

also, on a side note..when you use words like "most" that implies that you have some source that would confirm it as fact...

IF, in fact, this is just your own opinion or hypothesis, then what research or statistical set of demographics do you base your opinion on?

Several times you mention that "most people" blah, blah,blah...

How many people is "most" people, or what "most" people...

I still do not agree with you about "creating" love...nor, do I agree with any of the "most" people theories that you seem to embrace...

Thanks for asking!!!

To lighthouselover. I said " Most people marry people that live near them. People they work with or go to school with...etc. (so says a website on marriage statistics)"

Try google. There are dozens of websites that have stats on who people marry (and how long the marriage last). Most people marry those that they meet in their every day lives. People near by...so says the sites.

Do you have anything constructive to add to the OP? If not I'll be skipping over your post then.

oh, so you'll provide information and when someone asks you to validate that source, you ask THEM to google it?

sure, i'll do the research to back your claim

I think love has many different levels.

You have the attraction level, where you first start. Sort of like having a crush on someone, or they call it "infatuation." This stage has a season, and is used biologically to draw us together. As we communicate with our language, we become closer and the pairing becomes a bit different.

I think a lot of people make mistakes in the first stage... they engage the sex thing out of loneliness and attractione, then the big-time hormones and chemicals kick in and they think THAT is love. It is not. It is part of the mating ritual, but it isn't love yet.

Love is deeper and more meaningful. Love is what you do all the rest of the time when you're NOT having sex. (Howbeit some people only develop the sex part, and never DO anything else with each other...)

It takes time to develop a long-term relationship. It also takes effort on both parties. Things are going to happen (eventually) that causes reason to ask forgiveness, or to grant forgiveness. It is human to err, and errors need special amounts of emotion and thought that may or may not be available pertaining to the joining of personalities. I think the true test of love is when both parties go through something trying. How does the other party respond?

Long-term love tends to lean toward the side of unconditional forgiveness, howbeit however it does not exists there absolutely. Also, each person has their limits. A compatible couple will be able to stay within each other transgression limits. No one is perfect, and I think it is the rough times that glue people together the most.

The sex is the easy part, howbeit it is much better when certain things click, etc. (To me it is anyways...) The talking and getting along part is the true test of love.

I think both....

...you discover love, as if you have found a beautiful flower no one has ever seen...

... then you make love, because you find the flower has so many wonderful things about it, you learn to appreciate it

i pay $25 for 30 minutes worth (but i'm only good for about 2-3 minutes)

TelephoneMan thank you very much for the serious and thoughtful response. I was hoping for serious responses like yours.

This is my favorite line....."Love is deeper and more meaningful. Love is what you do all the rest of the time when you're NOT having sex"

I heard that somewhere else and it's something I say. I can't believe you know it too. I mean I can believe it.......it's just odd seeing one of my favorite lines popping up in someone else's post. I don't remember who first said it.

We're not writing a college research paper... lighten up, we're discussing stuff on a public Internet forum... who needs references? (Mingle2, 2008)

Jeesh....


References

Mingle2. (2008). Do people find love or create love?.
Retrieved November 11, 2008 from
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