I would love to hear from the men, if this article is bang on, slightly
accurate or a bunch of hooey. It's a bit long and is a cut and paste
from MSN...but is sure did get the wheels turning and wondering just how
accurate this stuff is that they want us women to know about men:

Many stereotypes about men abound: They don't like to cuddle after sex;
they're only interested in women with model-thin bodies; they hate to
show their feelings and vulnerabilities. Not true, say guys. So we gave
them the floor to set the record straight. Here, the top things men want
women to know, straight from the mouths of real men.

1. Kissing and romance mean as much to us as sex. "There has to be an
emotional foundation for sex," says Ed Fertik, a Brooklyn, New York,
bachelor. It's not that men don't love unforgettable sex; they do. But
in a serious relationship, they want it preceded and followed by
romance, kisses, hugs, and a loving touch. Contrary to the notion that
men just want to roll over and play dead after intercourse, many guys
say they do want to cuddle afterward. Some will even admit they'd like
you to read to them or rub lotion on their bodies (and they'll do the
same for you, if you ask!).

2. We like you just the way you are; no models required! Hollywood and
fashion magazines may make women feel they must have taut tummies and
look model-perfect, but guys say they appreciate real women with foibles
and imperfections. And personality counts! "Warmth is a much bigger
turn-on than cleavage," says Clifford Berkley, a divorcee in Staten
Island, New York.

3. We love when you cook us a meal, knit us a scarf, or buy us something
we need without our asking. Guys aren't saying that they want women
stuck in conventional household roles, just that they enjoy the surprise
of a special meal on the table, a homemade gift, or a thoughtful
gesture. "I love it when my wife buys me something she knows I need for
work," says Douglas Hanau, a New York City newlywed. "Or when she
prepares a meal for me that she's never made before."

4. We want to be constantly admired. Guys know they're not perfect, but
they want you to tell them they are, or at least highlight frequently
the things they do best. If he's great with stuff around the house, ask
him to fix something by telling him what a great job he did on the last
fix-it task. If he's a gifted writer, ask him to write you love notes,
and tell him how much you love his way with words. He wants you to look
for his strengths and applaud them -- often! There's also no bigger
turn-on, guys say, than a woman who notices the small things he does to
be considerate.

5. We appreciate when you contribute financially, especially if you can
afford to. Men like to treat women to special things, but they also like
to be treated, in return. Share the financial burden of a relationship
and know your guy's financial situation; be sensitive to what he can
afford. Don't expect a $200 night on the town if that's the sum total of
his monthly savings. And don't forget to break out your wallet. "If she
earns a good living and is otherwise liberated, I appreciate her helping
out," says Fertik. You don't have to split the bill on every night out;
just take out your wallet some of the time, men suggest.

6. Being kind to our mothers, siblings, and annoying relatives scores
big points with us. Guys so appreciate when women go out of their way to
be kind to their families. If there's a relative who's particularly
annoying, remember, your man often feels as much frustration or
antipathy toward the person as you do. But blood is thicker than water,
and a little patience and effort go a long way. Bring along a special
treat for a big family meal; send a warm thank-you note after you've
visited; or participate in the weekly phone call your guy makes to his
mom. Ask him how he prefers you to show your interest.

7. Unusual spots for sex turn us on. Men like to get out of the bedroom.
They'd like you to offer up your bathroom, your kitchen, and other
unusual spots for a special afternoon of love-making. "There's nothing
like sex in the afternoon," says Berkley (especially, he says only
half-jokingly, if you'll let him indulge in watching a TV sporting event
later). And when it comes to fantasies, they're happy to play along with
yours, and they love for you to indulge theirs. Another guy request:
They want to talk to you about sex, openly and candidly.

8. We want to be validated all the time. It may sound like
psycho-jargon, but men like to talk about their feelings, and they like
when you echo those feelings back to them so they feel understood. Guys
also love to talk about work, interactions with colleagues -- and
sports. Give them their rants. And if they are creative, or concocting
an idea a minute for work, they want to lay out their ideas for you to
applaud. So applaud! "There's nothing that turns me on more than a girl
who asks me to explain the logistics of football calls," says Berkley.
"It can be a great bonding moment."

9. We need you to encourage us to take risks, and support us if we fail.
If your man has a chance for a promotion at work, he wants your
encouragement and support. Build up his confidence by listing all the
reasons he should try for the promotion. Also, guys don't want you to
change their bad habits; they say they're well-aware of the things
they're not so good at. But you can gently offer suggestions for coping
or altering annoying habits. "Great is the gal who helps me make fun of
my foibles," says Berkley.

10. We can have platonic friendships with females. Don't assume we've
got something to hide if we want an hour to play racquetball or four
hours to play golf, guys say. Female friends are also a necessary
ingredient in many men's social routines -- and work connections make it
likely that some of a guy's close friends may be women. If you're
concerned that a friendship is turning romantic, talk to him candidly
about your worries -- but don't presume foul play.

11. We like women who are assertive, but not aggressive. If you want to
try something out in bed, guys are almost always game. Assertiveness is
also welcome when planning a weekend getaway, a vacation or even a night
out. Let your guy know what you like in a soft-spoken, caring way.
Others prefer subtle assertiveness. "Manipulate us in a feminine way,"
says Berkley, "but don't let us know we're being manipulated." That
means don't try stuff that's too strange too soon in a relationship;
talk and communicate.

12. We're not as different from you as you think. Books that tout the
differences between the sexes may be hot on the best-seller lists, but
guys yearn for the same emotional connections that women do -- they just
express those needs differently. "Guys who tell you they don't need to
be close and bond -- with women or with each other -- are lying," says
Berkley. To keep the bond strong, ask your guy often what you can do to
make him feel more loved. He'll love you back even stronger.

P.S......if there is a man that is and can admit honestly to all 12, I
think we have hit the jackpot, LOL

Let me know when you find him! I've found mine.

I really liked reading that. Thanks for sharing.

That's pretty accurate, if you ask me.

Great thread! Thanks!

My opinion is that men have been taught to be emotionally repressed for
so long that they're afraid of being perceived as weak if they show they
have any emotion. It's all about being macho, macho, macho!

Guys, let us LOVE you in ALL ways, not just in the bedroom! And show
your appreciation for that love and nurturing and try to reciprocate in
kind.

We want and need men who are not afraid to show they need us, too!

Great advice, Sheila. The battle of the sexes is just that; A battle.
Make love not war.

Jane -- As far as I'm concerned, it's very accurate. There are only two
on there that I would say don't apply to me, and one of those is Number
6, and that's only because I have no family, so that really isn't a
consideration.

I've said it before on here, and I think the article supports the idea,
that it's sad how intergender interaction seems to be perpetually stuck
in a "Them Vs. Us" mentality, when it really isn't like that at all (or
shouldn't be). A lot of us, regardless of plumbing, would really like
to find the same thing; for some reason, we're never supposed to admit
it.

Makes no sense to me.

You're absolutely right, Lex, and it makes no sense to me, either.

I really like seeing this type of forum discussions, though, that hit on
the REAL issues with regard to relationships and get away from the
never-ending juvenile sex threads. Those are "all in fun," I know, but
they seem to permeate these dating sites.

I mean, a lot of us here are very serious about finding the right life's
partner and having these serious discussions, I believe, are an
excellent way of communicating and finding out what REALLY makes each
other tick.

Breaking down the barriers...that is half the battle.

Thanks lex and sheila...... Loved your posts in response to the article.
Sheila you have taken the words right out of my mouth hun. I for one
would not think a man was weak or any less of a man to be able to
express himself, show emotion or love. I would think him to be more of
a man.

Lex, you hit the nail on the head also. And I can relate to what you
speak of. I also agree in that society has someone twisted our
perception and thinking towards the opposite sex and in the long run, I
think that is over half the reason for the negativity and bashing
between the sexes. It is regretable that men would be viewed as weak
and supress what and how they really feel for fear of being labelled
less than.

i can live with that.......lol all except the scarf....ewwwwww lol

A very good post indeed . I agree totally with it and hope that whomever
I do involve myself with would feel the same way , especially on the
openness and communicating part

It's just saying we love to be loved like you women do Thanks
Jane

1 Accurate- To a point, depends on the time and person, sometimes
afterplay is good, sometimes you prefer to go until you're in a coma.
2 Accurate- Personally, I'm looking to date a human, not a manequin.
3- Sorta...Ok, I'm weird, I like to cook... I don't like roles so much
as living together, I'd prefer to take care of my own stuff.
4- Um, again, not as needy as this but I guess it's relative to the
person.
5- Accurate, luckily I don't have contact with much of my family but
when I do, I'd prefer things to be civil.
6- Accurate and then some. Repression is a dangerous thing, as long as
discussion is timed well. No kinky questions at the family gathering...
7- Noooo. Only if you're actually interested should the football game
be interrupted.
8- Sorta, if there's bleeding or groaning in pain, don't laugh.
9- Absolutely accurate, some of my best friends have been and are
platonic female friends. Guys can turn it off, it's just funnier to
pretend to be a pig.
10- Accurate for me anyway, I'm naively looking for that 50/50
relationship.
11- Yup. 'Fraid so. Sorry ladies, we're all gooey inside the shiny
armor.

I would have to go with slighly accurate. For me anyway

I dont like woman paying for anything, its insulting to me. Thats just
how I am.

If a womans dating me, shes dating me not my family. I have very
annoying relatives and would actually be turned off by someone who didnt
want to stand her own ground.

Suprises are nice, but Im picky. I do not like to be bought for, the
gift wont get used. And if its a simular item to something I do want
but not what I want exactly it will actually piss me off. Cause now I
cant have what I want without hurting feelings.

Everything else is close enough

I'm not afraid to show emotions or love.it comes naturally from this
soft heart of mine. heck im mostly swedish maybe thats why ;)

I think it's pretty accurate. One thing I love is when your woman holds
onto you like you're the strongest thing in her world. Like she knows no
harm can come to her.

I think it is pretty damn accurate.

I am studying it. When is exam?

I think women's lib made a major shift in the relationships between men
& women. Many men were raised with one idea & everything suddenly
changed.

I think men want to be treated in the same manner ladies do.
Respectfully, total manners, & just as he would like to be treated.
This is how I treat everyone male or female untill they give to treat
them different.

I agree with all of those 12 points basic content.

Sage, that was very well put...I have to agree with you...But, I am not
a man, So what do I know...LOL