BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because herecognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road...

SARAH PALIN: BECAUSE I WAS GONNA SHOOT HIS SORRY LIBERAL
BUTT OFF FOR BLOCKING MY VIEW OF RUSSIA!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

**** CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of crossing?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is hy he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was oing. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Great one deb

I heard this on the radio election day lmao then lmao now!

Debbie I was gonna blast you for the wise crack until i read further.... But you forgot a few...

Mother...I dont care about the side of the road or the chicken , if you dont get your chicken a$$ in this house and do your homework and clean your room you will be fried chicen!!!!!!!

Older person...When I was a chicken i had to cross the road in the snow up a hill both ways>>>>>>

Chicken eh? What about the Little Red Hen .. she's got rights here too ...

The little red hen called all of her Democrat neighbors together and said, 'If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?'



'Not I,' said the cow.



'Not I,' said the duck.



'Not I,' said the pig.



'Not I,' said the goose.



'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.



'Who will help me reap my wheat?' asked the little red hen.



'Not I,' said the duck...



'Out of my classification,' said the pig.



'I'd lose my seniority,' said the cow.



'I'd lose my unemployment compensation,' said the goose.



'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did.



At last it came time to bake the bread.



'Who will help me bake the bread?' asked the little red hen.



'That would be overtime for me,' said the cow.



'I'd lose my welfare benefits,' said the duck.



'I'm a dropout and never learned how,' said the pig.



'If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination,' said the goose.



'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen.



She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, 'No, I shall eat all five loaves.'



'Excess profits!' cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)



'Capitalist leech!' screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)



'I demand equal rights!' yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)



The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)



And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.



Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, 'You must not be so greedy.'



'But I earned the bread,' said the little red hen. 'Exactly,' said Barack the farmer. 'That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle.'



And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, 'I am grateful, for now I truly understand.'



But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free. And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.



Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared..so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.



EPILOGUE



Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.



Hillary got $8 million for hers.



That's $20 million for the memories from two people, who for eight years, repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.







IS THIS A GREAT BARN YARD OR WHAT?

Lots of laughy faces....gotta love to laugh..oh yeaaaaaa

laughter is the best medicine

Why did the chicken cross the road?

You left out the most obvious reason. The reason most of us are on a dating site.

The chicken crossed the road because the roasters where on the other side. It was a mingle2 chicken.

oMG! There's a Tyson chicken ad on here!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the armadillo that it was possible.

LOL...Yu gotta love it!!!

Love it.....

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?




























To get to the other slide

Damn chicken advertisement!

Oh this is to funny


I need chicken pics.....chicken jokes...


cmon imaginations more then welcome




where is dan when you need him

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?









He heard the referee calling fowls











Why did the turkey cross the road ?






To prove he wasn't chicken