No this isnt a rant, or a self pity post. This is just me, a guy, being honest. According to most females, they appreciate honesty...so maybe they'll appreciate this.

Im sure many of us feel like giving up sometimes on love. Love is, to me, the greatest feeling ever. To love someone, to know you have a lover, to be with them, to embrace them, to get a phone call from them or a cute text message from them. We all enjoy it, dont we? Unfortunately the world we live in isnt so perfect, and at this age, many people just want to screw around. Unfortunately in the process, those people screw around with people who are seriously looking for a real boyfriend or girlfriend.

Many of us have gone on date after date, only to realize that truelly great lovers, are hard to find. Close to extinct even! You talk to someone online who seems so great, then meet them and realize they are a huge jerk. Or maybe they seem great after a few weeks, and then break your heart after they meet a hotter girl, or get bored with you, have a little argument or just realize they arent ready for a relationship. Its tough, I know. This isnt like our parents days or grandparents days where they met at a bar, talked for an hour and got married within a month, lol....AND, lasted over 60 years. Our society is materialistic, we always want something different, something new, better, hotter, taller, skinnier, richer, etc.

We arent happy with a 1999 Toyota Corolla, we HAVE TO have a new Honda or Volkswagen. We arent happy with a nice little apartment that costs $1000 a month, we HAVE TO get the luxurious apartment that costs over $2000. If we dont go out on friday night with our boys or girls, we are miserable. We have to go out and party all the time just to be happy, we cant possibly be happy by just staying home and enjoying a few movies on the couch and saving money for once. We work 50-60 hours a week because we cant stop spending our money. Some girls arent happy with their boyfriend unless hes tall and skinny, and takes her out all the time and gets in loads of debt in the process, and maybe even spoils her. Some guys arent happy unless his girlfriend has a big chest and gives 5 times a day. (Not everyone, but many people). No girl should have to go on a crash diet to get a guy, nor should she pay 30K for implants to get a guy. No guy should have to get 16 inch arms, or spend 30K to grow 5 inches to get a girl.

I guess I was raised differently. I was raised by a European family with zero divorces whatsoever. A family where both sides of grandparents, my own parents, and uncles/aunts have been together their whole lives (since 18 even!)...yet nowadays people cant stay married for 10 years without having problems. Have we forgotten what real relationships entail? Do you honestly expect a real relationship to be full of fun and lively-ness 24-7? Do you expect your bf to be skinny forever? Do you expect your gf to be capable of sex 5 times a day forever? Do you expect to never argue or be bored?

I was raised to look at a girl for whats inside of her, not outside. Ive always been different than others. Im not the party type, the drunk wild type, the fighter/tough guy type, the jerk type, the cheater type. Ive never been like many people who get peer pressured into things simply because they feel that if they DONT do it, their friends wont accept them. If my friends want to go to a party and I dont want to go, I simply say "no thanks" and stay home watching SNL, Jeff Dunham, Lewis Black, Daily Show, football, Larry the Cable Guy, Pink Panther (ick, the list goes on). Maybe even cook dinner, or invite a friend over to watch movies all night, or go to TGI Fridays or Georgetown, who knows. I have no problem enjoying a night to myself. God knows in 15 years, I may not see these people anymore, so why let them dictate your life? You meet a great guy, and your 'friends' dont approve of him so you reject him....why? Why let them dictate your life when, by the time your 40, theyll probably be long gone?

We seem to forget our values, morals, beliefs, character when we are out having fun. I used to be into those scenes, and yes, I totally forgot my morals and values. But thankfully Im well over it, and now I stick to my beliefs and values. If my friends dont like it, then they arent true friends, are they? A true friend would accept that, and NOT push you into something you dont want to do. Just like a true lover, wont control you or forbid you of something. A true lover would trust you. Have we forgotten the meaning of "trust"? I too cant stand the party scene anymore, but If im dating a girl, I cant forbid her to go to a party. Instead I trust her, that she wont cheat on me. IF she cheats, then she isnt worth it, is she? Do you want to date a cheater?

Unfortunately many people are so insecure, so depressed, so shy, so scared...is it their faults? Not necessarily. Maybe a guy gains weight from depression, or maybe a girl cuts her wrists because shes depressed and insecure. Maybe you cant find someone because you're so shy and scared. Im sure we all know people like this. Who can blame them? The society we live in, everyone has to be a certain way, act a certain way, dress a certain way, enjoy the same things, do the same things...or theyll have no friends. Ive seen guys reject a girl because she didnt have a big chest, so I wonder why a girl would be so insecure about her body? Ive seen girls who are tiny, reject a guy because hes not in the best shape, so I wonder why guys would be insecure about his shape? We also live in a society where there are too many gender rules. I personally dont believe in them, I love to cook and clean. And I know girls who can fix a car better than I can.

It just seems we all expect the best of the best. Perfection. We seem to forget that we all have imperfections, flaws, baggage, we all make mistakes. Many people just like to point the finger and play the blame game, rather than compromise, and in this world, there is no room for hatred and all this jargon that goes on. Theyd rather yell, than sit and talk eye to eye, peacefully. They cant be honest. I know several couples who lasted years, only to break up to find out that the other one was cheating the whole time. Ive gone on dates with girls who seemed amazing, but secretly had boyfriends.

To say that a guy is boring because he doesnt party and go out a lot, is wrong. To say that a girl is dumb because she wants to wait to have sex, is wrong. To say a guy is pathetic because hes a computer geek, is wrong. To say a girl is crazy because she takes STD prevention seriously, is wrong. I would gladly get tested for a girlfriend, and I would gladly wait for sex, for a girlfriend.

Like many of you, I too get frustrated with the dating scene. Im a guy who truelly seeks passion, loyalty, love, affection, commitment. But it seems the girls I meet dont, or at least just dont know what they are doing. Or maybe I get turned down because I dont look like Brad Pitt, because I dont have a six pack, because Im not rich, because Im not a partier. Im sure many of us have been thru this. Yes, it hurts. When we see people who are total fakers and jerks, get all the guys and girls...it makes us wonder, is being nice really worth it? Do nice guys and girls REALLY finish last? Sometimes we ponder giving up on finding love, and ask ourselves if we should just 'play the field'. But, we know deep inside we could never use or play someone, ever. We just arent that mean or cruel. So we dont do it.

Its perfectly okay to have standards, but to have a list of 30 things you need in someone is silly. You cant expect relationships to be a ball of fun everyday. You cant expect to never argue, to never be bored, to never come across a hotter guy or girl. You know very well if you are capable of long-term relationships, so if deep inside you know you arent capable of it, dont go on dating sites posting ads for a real relationship...knowing you're just gonna break someone's heart the moment you get bored or meet a hotter guy or girl. I totally understand if you're a 6 foot tall girl who wants a guy no shorter, or if you're a guy who has been through the party scene and cant stand it anymore, so you dont want a girl who has a drunk wild side. I dont want someone like that either, I dont want drama in my life. I understand if you're a girl who doesnt want some tough guy who picks fights with everyone and enjoys watching people beat each other up, whether it be a street fight or for a sport. I dont want someone like that either, I dont want people who are sick in the head and enjoy that rubbish, in my life.

Dont judge, dont hate, dont lie, dont disrespect. I dont care if a girl works at Hooters, it doesnt make her a slut. If a guy works at an ABC store, it doesnt make him an alcoholic. Just because someone has a Masters degree, it doesnt make them smart (street smart). Many people think that massage therapists are wackos...well, Im not a wacko. So enough with the stereotypes! Many people think like this because of their 'friends', who introduced them to all these stereotypes and social rules...so are those friends really worth it? Not to me.

This may be a little long, lol. Basically, I hope people will re-think what theyre doing. I know how many of you feel, many people have been searching for years and still single and meeting jerks (how can it be so hard, right?). I too want a girlfriend, someone special, sweet, affectionate, playful as a puppy, kind, romantic, loyal. But, after seeing whats out there, I too, am scared to try anymore.

I have 1996 camry & a 1996 Explorer , I'm almost divorced & happy!!

Two to three paragraphs is sort of a limit. Maybe two people are going to read that.

It is just way too long. Sorry.

I think the secret is not to "try" at all....get yourself into the forums and become friends with tons of people and you never know...it might just sneak up on you...concentrate on making friends and one of those friends will ultimately be the one for you...good luck to you

Be yourself, women will like you for that alone. Go into the forums and post, get to know folks. There is a good group of people on here

{{{{{{{Merle}}}}}}} My lovely married lady....how's the Honeymoon Doll

Wonderful

Thankfully I'm a voracious reader

Man, speaking of honesty, I didn't read through the whole thing, I skipped through, but I think I got your main point. My humble advice is simply to concentrate on yourself. Do things that make you happy, don't rely on someone else to "complete" you and once you become the man you feel comfortable with, women will automatically and instinctively notice you. Things will start happening all on their own. But it doesn't happen overnight. The key is simply to have patience while you transform yourself into that man women just simply find attractive even if they don't know why. But it's a never ending process. And you have to accept that fact. Even when you think you've reached your full potential, there's a whole other level of women to mesmorize.

tl;dr!

Normal, If only I were 30 years younger, you are a great guy!

Ok, I read that word for word, and i agree on all of it, yes, it is hard to meet the right person because of these reasons and at the same time we are still learning as a society to look at things in a better or worse scenario. Gosh, I will definatly have to respond to this tomorrow, this is a goodone, but i am dead tired, gotta get some z's. Sincerely, and in short, take a break, build yourself up again, and learn from all of this, and next time around, be open to sharing these things with the woman you feel would be receptive to this. ok goodnight

Please take a breath and realize that
A.You have to be proactive ,in a anyway that you enjoy,in your search for happiness.you can't expect it to fall into your lap.
B.When you least expect it ,great things happen.Learn to recognize them .Embrace them .
C.Who says you have to settle or lower your standards . Be real and set goals , if you don't reach them at least you are closer . Make a 5 month plan , 5 year plan ,5 hour plan . Be involved .
D. Finally , situations change , your parents and grandparents lived a different lives , the worlds is a better place in many ways,Maybe a 50 year marriage or relationship is not possible .I can hope that we all find someone to share a life with . A day alone is a day wasted .
Good luck with your quest !