So I made plans to meet a female friend for a few drinks Saturday night. Because she was going to work till 8pm she told me to go ahead and grab something to eat not to wait on her. I go to a local Mexican restaurant and load up on Beef and Shrimp fajita's with jalepenos and lots of refried beans and washed down with cold beer. I pick this girl up and she asks me to take her by her house so she can change cloths. Well that sounded like great news because about this time I had a gas pain that I felt all the way from my neck to my toes. We get to her house and I tell her I'll wait in the car. It's pouring down rain so as soon as she exits the car she takes off running. I let fly a fart that brought tears to my eyes. Disgusting I know. Then all of a sudden the passenger door fly's open and my friends mother jumps in the car. She's in her early 60's and I have known her for awhile. She needs a ride to the store. I knew it was just going to be a matter of time before she noticed what I had done but I didn't know it would be that fast. She said "so how are you" and then I see the smile leave her face and she says "you sick bastard. You need to go get your ass checked" Of course she makes me burst out laughing and when I do I simultaneously fart again! I swear it wasn't on purpose! Now she's raising hell and I couldn't stop laughing. Thank god the store was just across the street. When I got her home she runs in her house and my friend comes running out. When she jumps in she looks at me and says "I already heard, do you need to go change?" Oh my sides are killing me from laughing and yes the gas is finally gone. What a night.

My cats are staring funny at me and now Winnie is concerned enough to walk over to me as I am laughing SO HARD!!!!!!!!!!!

Those are the moments that we remember!!!


And of course, better you than me!!

things like this only happen to you

Oh MBD.....I've BEEN THERE DONE THAT!!!! I'm about to bust a gut over here reading that!!!!!

Sounds like you've got a pretty cool lady friend there!!!

OH, it's just too funny.....(wipes away the tears!!)

lol not true. Things like this happen to everyone I just have no shame. God I'm crying again.

I agree....ONLY to you!!!!!

Maybe if you'd stop hitting that Mexican place the air would clear enough your eyes won't water anymore

Thats to funny. I feel for ya.

Better you than me!!

Humm I tell ya you really need to write a book of short funny stories it would no doubt be a best seller. You are a riot

Oh Hell yes and laugh.
You must have been the guy at my dentists office this morning. They call me back and as soon as we get back there I can smell it. Good Lord what happened in here? Its 45 degrees and raining and they have the windows open.
Dental Assistant says "One of our patients had an accident"
Yeah, a 5 car pile up.

I read the title of the board and read who posted it, and I KNEW I it was going to be funny. My inside of my mouth is hurting right now, from laughing so hard.

So did you go home to change? Sounds like you REALLY needed it.

and.....i thought that only happened to me.

At one point I thought I would have to but only because I was laughing so hard I thought I wAS going to piss myself

That's just beautiful, man.

Poetic.

Lessons in Real Life, 101.

Thanks!