if YOU like her and your friends care for you
then your friends WILL like her.

otherwise they are not your friends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHxEnQZi3Ow

Why are you getting mad? You specifically said that the only thing bothering you about this whole thing is that your friends will make fun of you for dating an Indian girl. You listed no other circumstances or issues you were having with her. You even stated that that was immature and we agreed with you.

true, well they would joke with me alot not so much make fun of me i guesse, and i was kinda in a pissy mood im better

Maybe you have some underlying sensitivity about it that you need to address.

I think it's common to sometimes make clever comments about various cultures. Maybe they were even made lightheartedly purely in the interest of humor thinking you'd understand.

I don't know, I wasn't there.

But if your are sensitive to these things you should mention it in a calm and controlled manner the next time someone makes a comment along those lines.

If they come back with a rapid apology saying that they didn't mean anything by it, then at maybe it's just a lack of sensitivity on their part.

People watch sitcoms and sometimes blurt out things without thinking when deep down they aren't really predjudice at all.

It is true that if you're going to become involved in a life long relationship in an intercultural marriage, you should begin to realize right off the the bat that many people may say things without even realizing the consequences.

In other words, you're going to need to let those kinds of comments just go in one ear and out the other, or at the very least address them without becoming overly emotional or confrontational.

Just caulk them up to the stupidity of the person who said them, and don't take them seriously. If it's a friend, and they do it often, then you'll need to address the issue with them to clear the air.

Don't just let it simmer without addressing it, if it's continuous.

But you certainly shouldn't allow that to be a consideration in whether or not you're interested in a relationship with the woman.

You're either interested, or your not.

I'm also a bit confused.

You entitled the thread, "Should a relationship be based on religion?"

And then you talk about your friends making fun of the woman because she's from a different culture.

Sounds to me like you've got multiple issues going through your mind right now.

Maybe your just subconsciously not sure if you want to become involved so your looking for an excuse to run?

Not a judgment, just a suggestion to ponder for your own purposes.

if you want to know how things are in reality, pose the ""exact"" same question to the girl your interested in [instead of a public forum] and see what her response is to it. I guarantee you'll find out real quick what she thinks of you and the possability of both of you as a potential couple.

Dear girl i'm interested in:

i posted this on a public forum to try to get answers, and now i post it to you, tell me what you think or feel about it please?

" ok, their is this girl she is overseas. and i am not rascist but she is like indian, not native american the other. she is very pretty, and i think she is the right one because she is in my religion and loves the lord... but for some reason part of me thinks will like friends and stuff make fun of me because i am dating an indian girl...... i know this sounds immature but i know she is a good girl for me wholesome... and very pretty, and shes not muslim shes christian... what do you think?""

let me know how that works out crayon.

What do you have in common with her? Religion.

What do you have that is not in common with her? Upbringing. Culture. Diet. Social Mores. etc.

Indian woman are beautiful and quite often very smart and educated, but they come from a very different culture. You have bigger concerns than what your religion is and how people will look at her for her skin color. I have a Sikh friend who was stopped for wearing a bandanna on his head (Sikh men cannot show their hair in public, only their wife may see their hair). She might go through similar experiences in America, you and she would both need to decide if you were committed enough to stay together in spite of such treatment. Also, you have to understand the Divorce isn't really an option in Indian Culture. It's looked upon as very shameful and if marriage is part of the big picture, you will have to understand before marriage how a divorce (if you decided you wanted one) would effect her and her family.

Well, if her family knows that she's marrying an American they probably won't expect it to last more than 2 or 3 years anyway.

I think you should find a way to get together with her somehow before you propose marriage. Go there or get her to come for a visit. Just do it. And hope that she likes your friends.

Her family might stop talking to her if she marries an American. An Indian man I work with was told his family would stop talking to him if he married an American woman he was dating.

Honestly and not trying to offend anyone, but I don't think the OP is responsible or mature enough for what a marriage to an Indian woman would require. It's a HUGE responsibility and completely life altering. That's not an insult to the OP, I don't think many American men could handle it.

finally something we agree on spidey!!

Isn't that a bit of a stereotype?

Do you think every Indian family has exactly the same values?

He said that she's a Christian. Maybe her entire family is Christian and they don't feel the same as the stereotypical 'Indian' culture that you're suggesting.

I don't think any culture is totaly homogeneous with respect to every family living within it.

You might have had experience with a very strict Indian family. Maybe they aren't all that strick.

This would be like someone from India implying that all American family have the same level of strictness just because she met a very strict American family.

You have no clue what this particular woman's family might be like.

I'd prefer teaching. (Although there is hardly much difference.) But our current society's insane policies regarding both "education" and "counseling" make it all but impossible to either teach or learn effectively. Ah, but thats a political issue and has no place here. (But I'm going to post this anyway. )

It's not a question of the family, it's the social mores. If you are divorced, your and your families lives are more difficult in India because of it. So your family is cool with you being divorced, but the guy you are trying to rent from isn't. The grocer isn't. Your employer isn't. Christianity is a very small minority there, so her family isn't what she has to worry about. I work with people from all over India, my company has around 3,000 Indian employees. I have also had Indian friends away from work. I know one Indian woman who fought for her drug addicted, cheating husband to stay with her. In the end, she had to move nine hours away and leave her son with her family so that she could get a job. I think you are just so used to disagreeing with me that you couldn't stand to let a post go within attacking it, but the truth is that if you think that divorce isn't a violation of a cultural more in India, then you have no idea what you are talking about.

since i agreed with what he said - i'll answer this point - no i don't know anthing about her, nor her family, and you may be correct you don't know for sure either- what i meant is there is more to a relationship than just whether one is from the same culture or not. i have dated/married/been engaged to africans, mulatto, jamaican, chinese, japanese, phillipino, south american, spanish, portugese, and europeans, all of them have been brought up within their cultures that are anywhere from similiar to ours to quite different. that includes humor, family values, freindship, marriage, intimacy, religious backgrounds, and all else - it is difficult enough to have a relationship with someone from your own country or state yet alone with a different culture all-together. it is wise to know that or those cultures if your thinking of any kind of serious relationship within it/them. much to easy to offend them/family/friends/etc. if you donot understand the customs - you may get along famous with your intended and be loathed by sisters or brothers father mother etc.. that is why i said what i said - unless both are willing to give up alot of what there cultures are it is very difficult. that said, it does not mean it can't work, in fact it can, but to go into it blindly, with little or no familiarity with how one may have been raised i think is a disaster waiting to happen, even when i've been with other cultures that have lived here for some time [a year or two] i find them frustrated with american men who have't a clue as to their real need or desires and what they would really like in terms of a realationship with an american , there views changed dramatically when around american men for any conciderable time. also other cultures take their religion very seriously, unlike alot of christians here, they can be very devout in some cases and not so much in others. to me all this should be concidered before just jumping into something because of a mutual attraction. but then again you never know so i cant say dont do it, just be aware of the possible pit falls and thats true in any scenario.

love is not love by denying the differences the mind whisper to self always, as it is perfectly created to do just such......

love is love, when it hear the differences, the faults, the stupidity, the ignorance, the slothfullness of others, and accpets as true, then says it dosen't care, as it has looked into all the ways this has potential to truly effect self, and it is accepted, as good as already happened, and love greater than mortal time is created..........

human learning is by and thru all good and bad experience, so the avoidence of "bad" for self alone is always the sure way to ensnare self into a miriad of unseen things......

to listen to the personal plight of another's taste and description of bad felt, as wisdom, is as to taint self with bias in all ways toward failure.......

the natural comparison of self to others is done so without the seeing that each ounce of every second of living expereince for all is unique, and environement has constantly chnaged, so therefore so have MANY MORE VARIABLE THAN THE SITUATIUON ITSELF, AS ENVIRONMENT IS MUCH LARGER IN COMPARISON THAN ALL SINGULAR ACTIONS AND REACTIONS, so no greater truth can EVER come from foucing on a definition of what be a good and bad action, so no greater truth will inpsire any to look unto another mortal for direction, but rather, wisdom spoken must shed light on what make one see their OWN WISDOM.......

to compare self to another, as a basis for what be truth, is to compare to something that has infinite variables possible, so provide no accurate sight, and the only thing found, is what any root desire wished most to find, before it turned to look......

the mind tell of all the possible's that may happen in any situation, and if all these are accepted in advance, and one has accepted any notion whispered to the mind as actually happening, then it is ready to proceed with all confidence, for good or for bad, as there is no intent of mortals to have a life without adversity, as without such, there would be no wisdom taught, which grow each day, just as the human body grow.......

if all good and bad potentials have been embraced, not just the good ones believed, then there are NEVER ANY BAD SURPRISES, which is basically then the ability to always walk in confidence AHEAD OF ALL BADS, AS ALREADY PREPARED, as the mind has ignored nothing as useless, simply because it did not WISH FOR SUCH THINGS TO HAPPEN, LOL.......

the mind whisper all truths, awaiting the choice of the hearer, of what things heard will be embraced, that decide what will be created in front of any mortal in the future of tomarrow.......

mankind create all he sees in front of his eyes, in his own world that he has touched, and only believing the good potentials the mind holler when there is burning desire, create mazes of pain, that later that have no exist, accept thru greater pain by all involved, the worst pain, of course bing seeing one loved in pain oneself has caused, but if all things are heeded by the mind and accpeted, no such thing can ever happen, as all potentials are spoken aloud, and no other is kept in the dark, and all things are spoken and embraced aloud by all involved, which create common good that cannot fail along the path of life, as what is failure except the lack of ability to always address any issue with wisdom, seeing all things in life are no more than hurdles sent to a track star, not ignorance or weakness of self as some "bad thing", as this thinking that self should or could have been smarter, is as self defeatest, and only lead to even more despair in short time..........

embrace all as potential truth, and nothing but pure freedom of heart can guide all parites involved......

if the heart seek for a certain self wish most, it will not hear all potentials the mind whisper, as good for "self most" decieve even the wisest of men, by making any to ignore what the mind declare as true potentials, causing self to believe in fantasies of reality, and then wonder why the good thought did not come true........

all feelings and concerns as equal, for all involved, lead the wise man to fields of limitless love........

just rambling ideas......peace

I can understand this situation to some degree as I have been involved with an interracial relationship in the past. People will judge on occasion and sometimes even make comments directly to you. They might even do it accidentally, not with the intention of being rude or upsetting you, but just out of insensitivity. Over time, we just adapted to it and though it still could be hurtful in particular moments, the bond between the two of you is what is most important.Not that you need to take on an "us against the world" mentality. Not at all. Just realize from the start that it will happen over the course of the relationship. I wish you the best and it is worth the effort. Relationships are always difficult and nothing of importance is ever without effort. Look at it like that that and good luck.

Great and simple advice from Krimsa.

I see alot of people here making this situation more complex then needed (adding in there own bias about culture, blah blah, religion blah blah, lifestyle blah blah . . .)

Its simple. There is plenty of reasoned and unreasoned bias in every person your and my friends included. I am a very straight forward person, who you could probably call insensitive, me I see it as straight talk.

If someone I care about says something I think is stupid, or biased, or racist I will immediately turn around and address it (usually with more then a fair amount of humor - I poke fun I don't poke to hurt)

Remember we influence our friends as much as they influence us, sometimes a poke fun comment about someones bias, discrimination, idiosyncratic behavior can effect the way they think, or just make them think, when before they where not thinking at all, just parroting something they might have seen as funny . . . . (we all do it)

The same tact might help with your friends, if someone makes a comment, turn it into an opportunity to find out how they really feel (chances are they are being flip and you where being sensitive . . I am the same way)

Edit: PS
When reading your post you mention so few characteristics of this girl, that it really sets you up to seem shallow about your reason as to why you two are right for each other. (especially on an internet forum)

Just a bit of advice about why some people's post may seem harsh. And about your title, MY answer would be no . . . Do not base a relationship on religion >> but there is more then a little bias here <<< lol

I think you should be asking yourself why you are friends with people who would make fun of you for dating an Indian girl.

I agree with the advice from spider and the subsequent follow up from tribo. Also advice from Skyhook.

there are many other things to consider also.
If you go and meet her there, you would need to anyway especially if you planned on her coming over here permanently, you will see her in her natural surroundings, she will be confident, etc.

If she comes here and you are living in an area where she has no family connections, friends, etc she could be feeling a little less secure until she feels settled in and will look to you for emotional support also. I mention that because I have seen it happen, sadly the young man had not considered that possibility and was unprepared.

Nothing wrong with being friends with this young woman, but when thinking of a longterm viable possibility there are many variables to consider, including immigration.

I wish you all the best.