So you're saying women are f*cked up in the head? Well I could have told you that!

Well, we all know it. But not all of them. It just depends on so many factors. It's like saying I want a bad boy, or I want a nice guy. I want a sweet girl, I want a raunchy fun girl to drill Fridays after poker... blah blah blah.

You bring up some good points in this Lex, my wants and needs overlap also. I don't think my list of wants is so demanding that it can't be my needs.

Must be working at a career, and be happy with what you are doing.

Must have passion in all things, not just in the bedroom.

Must know when it's time to play and time to work.(both are very important to me)

Must say what you mean and mean what you say. ALWAYS.

Must not be a pansey push over who will roll over every time I say jump.

Must make me laugh.

Must make me think.

I'm sure there's more, but that's the base...

Lily~
If you'd been at my dinner last night I'd have asked you to kill me.
There is a part of me that has been living this book... not to the extremes of Theresa, but in a fashion.

No word on later, either. Making alternate arrangements.

With the brilliant psychologist who thinks I'm smart? wish I could have been there....

...I'm a 43 year old bachelor that lives like a modern day forrest gump. I'm happy. Trust me, I'm happy. I got it all. I just have noone to share it with. I don't need to be happier. I need to be more accepting and understanding of vaginal aptitude. And you gotta give me credit, I'm working on it. Being selfish and cautious while being selfless and caring at the same time is no easy task! Dance on a razorblade baby!

Uhm....WHAT?

<----psychologists wet dream.

Yes, he said you are good for me. I said, yah, I know. I pick great friends and lousy men. Not bad people, just lousy for me.

Lily, not just for b*tching anymore....

Calm down lily, technical term from another thread. I'm making a joke about it. Explanation? New term in relation to letting feelings rule your emotions. Like "penis envy" and "other penis" where men think with their penis. There's no intentional offense. Get it? "vaginal aptitude" is using your vagina as a brain. Only letting emotions control your feelings.

Ohhh I am SO guilty of that recently. But it/she was happy afterwards... does that count?

Oh OK I thought it was how good she was in bed.... Like an aptitude test.

Never even thought about that!

I use the terms as general categories which explain who I'm attracted to, and why.

The Standard is based on a particular person I knew many years ago, who I seem to have "imprinted" on as a sort of instant physical model of what I perceive as the most ultimately appealing. To this day, my visceral, gut-level, superficial attraction to someone is entirely based on how much they remind me of her.

The Exotic is someone who doesn't fit the Standard mold at all, but someone to whom I find myself intensely attracted regardless. Gem is probably the best example of this. I really don't know where that comes from, exactly, but it has undeniably become a reality.

I tend to see the Standard as "what I want" because it has a strong but superficial appeal. Most "Standards" I have met have been better to look at than to talk to or get to know.

The Exotic I see as more "what I need" because they tend to have more depth and potential for an actual relationship.

It's a crude and overgeneralized system but it has held up pretty well thus far.

I explained to Andy the other night there are 2 Lillies....hehehe isn't that funny?

Logical and Emotional.

Logical Lily usually wins out, but logical lilly also know that emotional lily will go nuts if she never wins so logical lily lets emotional lily out of the cage on occasion.

ON the rare occasion that emotional lily wins and puts logical lily in the cage and takes over, logical lily gives direction from the cage that emotional lily will listen to, but only if she thinks logical lily isn't looking.

Emotional Lily is a beast and must be contained, but let out for short walks on occasion.

Logical Lily gets tired sometimes and needs a vacation from reality, so she lets emotional lily take over with very strict instructions and play by plays as to the consequences of her actions.

So in my head Logical Lily and Emotional Lily get along fairly well, and they only cause a riot when Mr Tequilla and Mr Rum come to visit.

I got a better one lily....put down the mouth gun! Don't shoot off the mouth gun! Biker was making a joke. He wasn't being offensive! Damn she's got a quick defensive itchy trigger finger. Relax! Chillax! Ha ha ha ha! Count to ten. Wow! Good morning lily. We are deep in physiological thought over the complete duality of man and woman- using the movie 'looking for mr goodbar' as example in context.

Sugar I just asked a question, I didn't get all up in your sh*t about it? I mean do you know me? come on now..... It could have been worse....

This is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I tend to want a smart, white collar educated guy with animalistic passions and a more blue collar sense of fun, but with razor wit. The two types on paper look different. But I want what I want and I'm obviously not getting it.

LHB... don't pick on my girl. Play nice...

Lily, I so understood that, but I doubt a lot of lurkers did.

They will ask me to recommend Risperdal or Abilify to you, doll.

I think all four of us are "exotics". None of us fit the mold. And we are all living a duality of ourselves. If we all lived in proximity and time restraints allowed I'd enjoy this conversation in person. Everyones views and experiences are admirable and respected.