An alcohol filled memory
comes on back to me
I try to save myself from the embarrassment
In an old over-used run down chair
that is wrought with despair
I sit by myself in the filth in my lament

you've given me hope and worry
I don't want happiness taken from me
I've been hurt before you see
So while I heal I have insecurities

And you don't have to prove anything to me
I know I make mis-steps and mistakes
sometimes I get blinded by the past and can't see
but to forget it's your embrace is all it takes

I've wasted most of my life
with an abusive wife
I have learned to completely hate myself
I drank all the time
inebriation was a state of sublime
But it left my self with failing emotional health

my body is emotion and from the bad stuff
there is hanging skin from when times were tough
But you run in my mind all of the time
I don't want to lose something so kind

And the pain I have isn't from you
You do all that you can and I expect from you
But I've been hurt before you see
So While I heal I'll have insecurities

Tragedy and travesty has followed all of this painful life
I've hurt myself as much as other by the edge of a knife
God if your real I want to make my mind work well for my heart
Please let something in my life be more beautiful than art.

Life is all the colours, all the textures, light and shadow...

You have lived what you do not want ... and in doing so, you are more clear about what you do want...

Embrace that and look back with softer eyes ...

I wish you well. Thank you for sharing...

writing is healing and yours is filled with hope

and this is somebody that reads your writings and almost always comments-

I read you...understand you...and pray for you

nicely written and worded man....i liked it

you would be surprised how many people read these

With healing come closure your shell is mending your soul is growing,,

Love & Light

Sounds like the bad in your past is gonna make the good of the now that much more enjoyable!!! Go with it and let the past go and if you feel the past coming on hug them and give them a kiss Great write my friend!!!!!!