I didn't know where this belonged but here it is.
My boyfriend and I broke up about a year ago. He called me yesterday and seemed fine (we were still friends) he seemed happy. Today he called his mom and said he had a gun to his head and was going to kill himself. She called me and I told her to call 911. She called me back and said the cops called her and told her he shot himself and she was on the way to the hospital. One hour later she calls me back and tells me he committed suicide. He's gone and I feel responsible. He asked me to marry him a couple of weeks ago and I told hm no because he drinks to much. He called me yesterday and said he missed me and I said nothing. I know it is not my fault but I still feel guilty. Can someone please explain why I feel this way?

Wow. What a tragedy!

I would advise you to seek professional counseling.

Im so sorry.

sorry totally read it the wrong way,its not your fault. but try to seek some support

you feel quilty because you didnt give in to what he wanted

but your right, its not your fault. he chose the easy way out of his problem and the drinking didnt help

Uh... you feel this way because someone you were close to killed himself.

If this is for real, then you should try to find someone you can talk to about how you feel. People on the internet are not going to be all that helpful. If you don't have a friend or family member who'll help you out, go to the local mental health center or hospital emergency room.

I hope you start feeling better. yours in Chaos, Scarlett

It's not your fault. He obviously had problems which needed professional attention. You might want to seek out counseling or a support group to help you get through this. best wishes.

i am sorry that this has happened to you

there is nothing that anyone in these forums could say that would make you feel better

but just know that people make their own choices and that you should not blame yourself

keep your head up and take care

Oh, hun, I'm so sorry.

I have lost a family member to suicide. People feel survivor's guilt. They wish they could have done something.

This could not have been prevented. If he was drinking, it made the depression worse. Nobody could have stopped that.

There are groups for people that have gone through this.
Churches have them too.

professional help...find some

Thanks to all who have commented here. I know I need to talk to someone who can explain this to me and the best place to start is my pastor and work from there.

Whatever you do, and whatever road you take from here, just don't hold it in. It will make things so much worse later down the line. Do whatever helps, cry, scream, yell, paint your toe nails. Doesn't matter... find and outlet and let go and it will get better.

I agree with everyone above. I would talk to a professional about this rather than here in the forums. A professional could help you much more than this site can. I am sorry to hear you are going through this and my thoughts are with you.

I just don't know what to say...I am so sorry sweety...but please know...there had to have been other things going on...please seek help and don't blame yourself

I'm very sorry to hear this.

Do not blame yourself. Alcohol I'm sure played a major role and he was probably already severly depressed. I don't know what else to say, cept keep your head up and know that your in my thoughts.

But no reason she can't come to us for support...she needs us

Hi Boo...

It's definitely not your fault but because you shared something special with him and he was/is a part of your life, you can't help but feel guilty. I believe it is a natural for us to feel that way because you feel like you could have done something to help or stop him from suicide.

Suicide is suicide. That's a personal choice and you have no control over that.

I symphatize because my ex-boyfriend also committed suicide after I broke up with him. That was 11 years ago, i was only 15. It was a really tough time for me. I did not seek professional help immediately and that kinda build up and prolonged the issue. I strongly recommend seeking professional help as soon as you are able.

I am sorry for your loss. If you want to talk more about it, just message me...

Take care and please know that what he did was not your responsibility. It was his decision and it was selfish of him to leave the way he did...

I agree. Drinking excessively or making threat that they'd kill themselves if you leave them or hurt them is a clear indication of depression.

I know this because my ex did all those to me.

She can talk about it however, to whoever or whenever she want. That is the only to heal and to let it all out.

But I do suggest counselling as well.

Thank everyone so much for the suggestions and I have talked to someone about this tradgedy. My pastor explained some people are not strong enough to face their demons and they take it upon themselves to end their own suffering. He said he couldn't face that life was dealing him a troubled time and believed that everyone had abannoned him so he couldn't face life's problems alone even though he had so many family and friends that loved him dearly he felt there wasn't anyone he could turn to for help. I believed in him. His family believed in him. We just wanted him to get the help he needed, but he didn't think there was anything wrong with what he was doing. I don't blame myself anymore but I do believe that when a person decides to take their own life they have deeper problems then what comes to the surface and many of us can not see that aspect of their life. We tend to blame ourselves for things we have no control over and that's what I did. Because, of all of you I seeked a explaination for this unfortunate tradgedy and I thank you again.