Well, when you say it like THAT (in a non-"threatening" situation)...why WOULDN'T someone get defensive? When said in the right tone, it is O-fensive.

Or how about the slightly gentler - "can you please just give me a moment to think"? I actually like this one.....respectful (again depending on tone)but direct.

I think I'm not alone here...we've all had those moments when we've needed a moment to "cool off" or "gather our thoughts" (and I'm not JUST talking about an interpersonal squabble)...."AnY" stressful situation.


But...for "Devil's Advocate" sake, I'll ask,

How do YOU feel when you are asked to "just leave me alone" or "can you please just give me a moment to think"?

well, you're right... depends on tone and context and whether I'm the reason that she needs to be alone. Can't say it doesn't sting just a little even in the best case scenario. And in the worst, it's a real dagger.

"just leave me alone" <~ not good..someone says that to me, trust me..I'll be leaving them ALONE for a LONG time!

"moment to think" <~ this is much better.. means they want to gather their thoughts before they just speak out and regret something they might say later.

I don't think anything of it....I'm usually like...okay, then I walk away....then I would hope she would come to me to talk when she's cooled off.... But, when they ask? leave them alone....I found that's the easiest thing to do..

give them their space

for me, it's my cue to follow you from room to room trying to force you to listen to me.

Hey, could that be why I am permasingle?

The "can you please just give me a moment to think"? line is a valid excuse. Sometimes abnormal anxiety can make it hard to think/concentrate/focus/etc.

lol... i remember those days....

A moment to think definately sounds better. But in the heat of the moment doesnt always come out like that -LOL
And it takes me MORE than a moment sometimes to cool down. So
I usually dont say a whole lot til I can gather myself and think about what to say
Presentation is everything.!!

did we used to be married??
I get confused.

I would have to respect that persons space of course but at the same time I would be wondering what I did wrong!

You know you got them on the ropes and you go in for the kill or not.

We all get a little "testy" from time to time. I just do as they ask and give them the respect I would want.

Walk away and let them get over it.

I'd like to think I learned a few things when (if?) I was married.

oh, so did I, trust me.

Instead of "CAN you give me a moment to think" which I'm sorry will always come out angry defensive I prefer "I'm going to need a little time to myself to think." If you can take a breath before saying it you've gotten your point across and haven't ruffled additional feathers. You will only hear me say "just leave me alone" if that is truly what I want.

lol.....I was waiting for some Truman speak.