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| Topic: 'Playing the Game' | |
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 Why does dating have to be a game in the first place? It doesn't have to be, actually it shouldn't be at all... that's the point of my post. See you understand I understand and a few others do as well. But I think you should have used smaller words for the people that don't. 
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Why does dating have to be a game in the first place? It doesn't have to be, actually it shouldn't be at all... that's the point of my post. See you understand I understand and a few others do as well. But I think you should have used smaller words for the people that don't. Oh... my words are small... |
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Why does dating have to be a game in the first place? It doesn't have to be, actually it shouldn't be at all... that's the point of my post. See you understand I understand and a few others do as well. But I think you should have used smaller words for the people that don't. Oh... my words are small... I think your post is dead on, but the fact remains that there is always going to be players. And you can be easily condemned for revealing too much about yourself. |
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Edited by
No1sLove
on
Mon 08/04/08 07:37 PM
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J-just M-my H-Humble O-opinion Dude, no one actually meets on dating sites, that's just what they say in the ads. The real truth is, this place is filled with the heartbroken and jaded. There's a nice combo for finding "the right one." Look, if your honest you stand a slim chance, if your dishonest you stand no chance. The fear of the internet (not just dating sites, but all of it) is that there is nothing "real" on it. Eveyone is out to steal your identity, or cheat you or scam you. If your getting something from the internet it's probably just a virus waiting to download your credit card info. The level of trust that a person has to build on a site like this or any other is huge. Much larger than someone you'd meet on the street. For an honest man, that is willing to take his time in getting to know someone, the internet isn't even an option. Sorry, people associate computers with "quick" and there are no "quick fixes" in the love department. Good luck man.  BTW...the next time I'm rolling though your neck of the woods, it will not be in a rush for work...but on my own time. I would hope you could meet me for lunch then. Should be around the end of summer.
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I have fears of what you're describing and ask myself and him many questions when the conversations are going along at such an agreeable manner that it doesn't seem possible. I think it would be easy to concentrate your conversations on issues you agree on and never venture into territory that might force argument or resentments to form. Though you seem to be getting on swimmingly, you could both be slightly skewing the bigger picture just enough to avert reality and you would both lose to let it continue once you know it's there. (((Gianni))) Thanks so much for sharing your experience. It takes a lot to stand up and point to our own fallacies. You are tops in my book hon. Just watch out for yourself and move slow. Also, I don't think that good and honest matches made anywhere are exactly a dime a dozen either hon. I think it's very rare indeed in any given arena. JMHO. Thank you so much for your feedback. It's always nice to be encouraged. I know it's overused, but I don't overuse it... you definitely deserve a flower  What does JMHO stand for?
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Why does dating have to be a game in the first place? It doesn't have to be, actually it shouldn't be at all... that's the point of my post. See you understand I understand and a few others do as well. But I think you should have used smaller words for the people that don't. Oh... my words are small... I think your post is dead on, but the fact remains that there is always going to be players. And you can be easily condemned for revealing too much about yourself. Thanks man |
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Edited by
justme659
on
Tue 08/05/08 06:02 AM
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Just because this is the internet we still must never forget that there is another human being sitting behind a screen reading and taking in our words as well.
If we seek Respect & Honesty from another we must learn to give it as well. Hear, hear! Well said. And if I may add, Manners. As for dating being a game, it shouldnt be. It should be a lovely dance that 2 people getting to know each other do slowly. The sharing of each other honestly. Its not, to see how many people you can collect on your friends list. |
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Just because this is the internet we still must never forget that there is another human being sitting behind a screen reading and taking in our words as well. If we seek Respect & Honesty from another we must learn to give it as well. Hear, hear! Well said. And if I may add, Manners. Yes for sure! People seem to say anything over the internet because it doesn't seem to have any meaning. Nothing is as serious as if it were said in person. An example of this is right under our noses... those sex forums with threads such as: 'would you exchange erotic photos with the above person?' 'what would you do if you woke up next to the above person?' 'would you date, sleep with, or marry the above person?' and the people who post on these threads are constantly lying, not taking anything seriously, and just saying what they would never say in person because there is no acountability online. It's all a game for them. Meanwhile, some of these people are married or in a relationship yet they keep posting and make a mockery of the sanctity of marriage and sexuality. Very good point that people don't attribute as much weight as they should to their words over the internet. |
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When you put something in writing, such as in this forum, it has more weight than the spoken word. E-mails and posts are definitely less casual than a chat on the phone, in daily life.
That is why if things are said/written in a joking manner, either two people must know one another a bit or the joke must be clear. This is not a game for most of us. Unfortunately, it is for some. And for the sincere folks, it is our job to discern between the two. Part of the problem is dealing with others who don't know who they are or what they want, or think they do and it actually changes... but they don't tell you that. You also have no idea if they are talking to others or dating others. Gamers are not always gaming intentionally... at least I like to think so. For example, I am looking to meet someone close to me geographically (at least within an hour or two) and near my age. I recently met a guy that fits that description and we had a wonderful date, but it is just not there. He is going through a divorce, works a demanding job, and wants to just casually hang out. Great for him and I applaud his honesty, but I want to date someone, to feel special and make the other feel special. There are just a lot of factors... an overwhelming amount sometimes. However, I find if I don't push things, they go the way they should. I go with my gut and practice patience. Hiya Chuck! |
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It is such a sad shame that all that has been said in this post boils down to this...That someones word is not their bond. I guess I am 100 years too old mentally for this kind of dishonesty in life. And it sure wears a soul out trying to shovel past the BS to get to the truth.
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It is such a sad shame that all that has been said in this post boils down to this...That someones word is not their bond. I guess I am 100 years too old mentally for this kind of dishonesty in life. And it sure wears a soul out trying to shovel past the BS to get to the truth. It used to be that someone's word was binding. Today, people use lingo like 'I swear' (and much worse) as if it meant nothing, and still they can't be trusted. People have lost their integrity. |
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J-just M-my H-Humble O-opinion Dude, no one actually meets on dating sites, that's just what they say in the ads. The real truth is, this place is filled with the heartbroken and jaded. There's a nice combo for finding "the right one." Look, if your honest you stand a slim chance, if your dishonest you stand no chance. The fear of the internet (not just dating sites, but all of it) is that there is nothing "real" on it. Eveyone is out to steal your identity, or cheat you or scam you. If your getting something from the internet it's probably just a virus waiting to download your credit card info. The level of trust that a person has to build on a site like this or any other is huge. Much larger than someone you'd meet on the street. For an honest man, that is willing to take his time in getting to know someone, the internet isn't even an option. Sorry, people associate computers with "quick" and there are no "quick fixes" in the love department. Good luck man. Wow I totally disagree with you but then hey my opinion and your opinion is to each our own. I have known those that have meet the love of their life on the internet and in no way was it a quick fix. It took many e-mails phone calls trips ect to get to know them. In life there are no quick fixes for anything. If one is looking for a quick fix it will only last a short time whether it be by internet or in person. You see life is what we make it we must take the down falls along with finding cloud 9. It has it's ups and downs and if you're lucking you will find that happy middle. But to say it can never happen is so wrong. One never knows what is around the next corner in life. I myself have meet some off of this site we ended as friends only but who is to say that I want find someone. If one always looks for the negative in life that is what you shall find.    good points! Im not a Dr but I can play one online! |
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>.<
Lol, good times |
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Anyone else want to venture an opinion?
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It is such a sad shame that all that has been said in this post boils down to this...That someones word is not their bond. I guess I am 100 years too old mentally for this kind of dishonesty in life. And it sure wears a soul out trying to shovel past the BS to get to the truth. It used to be that someone's word was binding. Today, people use lingo like 'I swear' (and much worse) as if it meant nothing, and still they can't be trusted. People have lost their integrity. I disagree... There was no utopian society where Lawyers and Contracts didn't exist. Here is the irony... A place where someone's word is binding... existed in a small village where everybody knew your mom & Dad and their Mom & Dad. But we are having a freaking Virtual Society where we don't even know if that is your real name or not. How can any accountability or Trust ever be established? Go out an meet people and know who their parents are. |
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It is such a sad shame that all that has been said in this post boils down to this...That someones word is not their bond. I guess I am 100 years too old mentally for this kind of dishonesty in life. And it sure wears a soul out trying to shovel past the BS to get to the truth. It used to be that someone's word was binding. Today, people use lingo like 'I swear' (and much worse) as if it meant nothing, and still they can't be trusted. People have lost their integrity. I disagree... There was no utopian society where Lawyers and Contracts didn't exist. Here is the irony... A place where someone's word is binding... existed in a small village where everybody knew your mom & Dad and their Mom & Dad. But we are having a freaking Virtual Society where we don't even know if that is your real name or not. How can any accountability or Trust ever be established? Go out an meet people and know who their parents are. I was referring to society in general. People have lost their integrity these days. |
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Edited by
SVImager
on
Thu 08/07/08 06:54 AM
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It is such a sad shame that all that has been said in this post boils down to this...That someones word is not their bond. I guess I am 100 years too old mentally for this kind of dishonesty in life. And it sure wears a soul out trying to shovel past the BS to get to the truth. It used to be that someone's word was binding. Today, people use lingo like 'I swear' (and much worse) as if it meant nothing, and still they can't be trusted. People have lost their integrity. I disagree... There was no utopian society where Lawyers and Contracts didn't exist. Here is the irony... A place where someone's word is binding... existed in a small village where everybody knew your mom & Dad and their Mom & Dad. But we are having a freaking Virtual Society where we don't even know if that is your real name or not. How can any accountability or Trust ever be established? Go out an meet people and know who their parents are. I was referring to society in general. People have lost their integrity these days. I believe.... People are still the same. There are liars & Cheaters & good people. The People that you only dealt with in the past.. you would know their background/History/Family and thus accountable. The People you meet (which is now a bigger population) thru internet doesn't have accountability. It is not that bad. In General, people have always lied from the Garden of Eden to NOw. |
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It is such a sad shame that all that has been said in this post boils down to this...That someones word is not their bond. I guess I am 100 years too old mentally for this kind of dishonesty in life. And it sure wears a soul out trying to shovel past the BS to get to the truth. It used to be that someone's word was binding. Today, people use lingo like 'I swear' (and much worse) as if it meant nothing, and still they can't be trusted. People have lost their integrity. I disagree... There was no utopian society where Lawyers and Contracts didn't exist. Here is the irony... A place where someone's word is binding... existed in a small village where everybody knew your mom & Dad and their Mom & Dad. But we are having a freaking Virtual Society where we don't even know if that is your real name or not. How can any accountability or Trust ever be established? Go out an meet people and know who their parents are. I was referring to society in general. People have lost their integrity these days. I believe.... People are still the same. There are liars & Cheaters & good people. The People that you only dealt with in the past.. you would know their background/History/Family and thus accountable. The People you meet (which is now a bigger population) thru internet doesn't have accountability. It is not that bad. In General, people have always lied from the Garden of Eden to NOw. To continue on your reference to the bible. People were also stoned to death for lying back then. |
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Edited by
SVImager
on
Thu 08/07/08 01:28 PM
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I believe.... People are still the same. There are liars & Cheaters & good people. The People that you only dealt with in the past.. you would know their background/History/Family and thus accountable. The People you meet (which is now a bigger population) thru internet doesn't have accountability. It is not that bad. In General, people have always lied from the Garden of Eden to NOw. To continue on your reference to the bible. People were also stoned to death for lying back then. hehe... My point is... the Situation is not worst... the People are not worst... it is different... You cannot use the same old tactics for meeting people face to face and knowing someone's family for today's virtual meeting place online. BTW, people were not stoned to death for lying... stoning for stealing and adultery and prostitution... Too many people would be killed for lying because everybody lies. |
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