Topic: Confused?
ShagnaC's photo
Mon 03/12/07 03:59 PM
I left my husband 2 years ago to give myself time to work on my past
issues. I took this time to heal before I started dating. I thought I
was ready as I missed the companionship, but when I seem to find someone
I might be intrested in I dont want to date anymore I want to be single.
Maybe I am just not finding that special connection, or I am just one
confused person.
It seems like it is real hard to find real friends to start building a
foundation with. I am OK being single but I kind of miss going out with
someone and laughing. HUM???

sportsnut69's photo
Mon 03/12/07 04:03 PM
i can understand that. i am tired of being single myself and looking for
a nice lady to spend time with

krowraven7's photo
Mon 03/12/07 04:04 PM
I have had alot of offers for women to want to meet and Iv'e turned them
down because I WASNT READY..I think theres a breaking in us that gives
in and when it does we start loving gain..

no photo
Mon 03/12/07 04:06 PM
Sounds to me like you haven't quite finished the healing process yet --
based on this, and another post you made recently. Part of you doesn't
seem to be ready to try a new relationship yet. Being single has its
down side, but, to some degree, you've become comfortable with it, and
so you step back into single mode when you find someone you think you
could be interested in. It's really a defense mechanism.

Best thing to do is not rush into anything. You may meet someone who's
suitable enough that you're able to willingly come out of the single
mode, and stay out of it, for awhile. Until then, take your time, get
to know some people, see who makes you smile, who makes you feel good.
One of them might be all the incentive you need to put the healing
behind you.

oldsage's photo
Mon 03/12/07 04:08 PM
These days I do think it is harder to make good friends.
I am very open that I am not looking for a relationship, but I find I
need to be careful, as I am the exception; not the rule.
In talking to people, I find that if they were in a REALLY bad
relationship, they are slow to be able to trust again; with good reason.
Everybody has to go at their own speed, maybe your expecting to much?
Would ask that you consider just finding friends frst & hang w/them to
see what happens. You seem intelligent & a nice lady, I think you'll
find what you want, WHEN you want. Till then, HAVE FUN.

BigGlenn's photo
Mon 03/12/07 04:10 PM
I've gone through the same thing Shagna. I still am. I think it's
because I'm not in touch with the new me yet.

newguy's photo
Mon 03/12/07 04:17 PM
Girl.........you've hit on a sensative area of alot of us on here, men
and women alike. Still wrestling with that area myself.

BillRoot's photo
Mon 03/12/07 04:17 PM
Some things are hard to say and not look rude or mean.I am just trying
to help!
It sounds as if you still have personal issues within.Think you must
resolve the issues,what ever they are,before setting your mind on a new
relationship.Wish you all luck!!!flowerforyou

no photo
Mon 03/12/07 04:20 PM
The healing process may take longer than you anticipate. Sometimes it's
a matter of nurturing yourself. You seem like a great person who can
offer a lot in a relationship, but if you're not ready...the whole
dating thing won't work and you'll do things that will ruin the
beginning of anything good. Be ready first (emotionally) and don't
rush...take your time getting to know yourself and the person your
dating. You've learned from your experiences and that will eventually
lead you to your soul mate. Good luck to you...you're a beautiful woman
and there really isn't a need to worry about such things...it will
happen.

ShagnaC's photo
Mon 03/12/07 04:20 PM
Lex, you made a lot of sence. 2 years was a lot of time to let go but
maybe I am not there, I know I am wanting to be there though lol. I just
need to find that special person to help me want to be with someone
again.
Very well put thank you

Greyhound's photo
Mon 03/12/07 04:37 PM
laugh BigGlenn,when you find the new you, if he's as funny as this
you, you'll do ok.:wink: