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| Topic: Marriage under False Pretenses ? | |
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My cousin and his wife have been married for the past 2 years.
Recently she told him that it's not going to be possible to have children, and that several years before meeting him she had a surgery to prevent pregancy. She knew he wanted kids, and kept this from him. Should he be considering a divorce, are trying to find a way to put this behind them ? |
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they can still have kids, just not biologically.
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Edited by
tanyaann
on
Mon 07/28/08 01:09 PM
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Oh, that's tough.
I think that there shouldn't be any deception going into a marriage. To me I don't see the point of lying to someone that you are going to be vowing to spend the rest of your life with. It would truly be up to him to decide if he would want to make a relationship work. Personally, I think lying by ommission is just as bad as out right lying! |
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If her tubes were tied can't that be reversed?
If so theres an option. But yeah I'd be a little upset. |
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Apparently, the trust is definately an issue. I would suggest the two of them get a divorce. I wouldn't want that for my cousin, and I certainly wouldn't decieve the poor guy about having kids.
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That's a tough one. Somethinng of that caliber should not be kept a secret - especially since she knew he wanted children.
If he can get past the deception (that's what I see it as anyway) then they can look to adopt.  for your cousin
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I think he has to decide this for himself because he is the one that has to be comfortable with what he chooses.
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If she held that back... What's next, she had a sex change too
Nope, I'd be looking for the closest corn field 
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Edited by
duckiegiggles
on
Mon 07/28/08 01:13 PM
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did they talk about it before they got married and she just never said no i cant have kids or did she keep telling him "yeah honey one day"?
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sorry to hear that, its all up to him how he wants/needs to deal with it but i have to say thats pretty fu(ked if her and for someone like me that would take trust away and their must be trust
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If she had surgery to prevent pregnancy theres always the option of reversal. Its not 100% of course but still an option..Im not sure divorce is the way to go , working it out, some counceling , to save the marriage is always the way to start..
This made me think of a couple questions.. how old is she and does she have other children? Most doctors wont do that surgery unless the woman has children already and a variety of other factors but rarely on a young owman with no children ...just curious |
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Edited by
debbie1980
on
Mon 07/28/08 01:14 PM
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My cousin and his wife have been married for the past 2 years. Recently she told him that it's not going to be possible to have children, and that several years before meeting him she had a surgery to prevent pregancy. She knew he wanted kids, and kept this from him. Should he be considering a divorce, are trying to find a way to put this behind them ? i did a thread similar to this before, called 'if you have' if you want to take a look
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If she held that back... What's next, she had a sex change too Nope, I'd be looking for the closest corn field 
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I would suggest talking to their Pastor if they go to church. If not, marriage counseling is always a good option. There are ways to get around the kids issue, however there are some underlying issues that need to be addressed. I would not suggest a divorce. That should ALWAYS be the last resort. I am divorced and was willing to talk to the Pastor and/or get marriage counseling, my ex, the deceiver, was not interested in either. Which at that point a divorce was necessary. Please don't disregard the sacred vows of marriage.
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She completely lied to him. He has the right to decide whether or not he still wanted to marry her if he couldn't have children. She took his right to choose away. She took away his right to have children or at least decide whether or not he wanted them. To me... she's a liar and cheated her way into this marriage. I would be filing for divorce. Not because she can't have children, but that she lied about it and purposly deceived him.
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Edited by
Jill298
on
Mon 07/28/08 01:23 PM
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I would suggest talking to their Pastor if they go to church. If not, marriage counseling is always a good option. There are ways to get around the kids issue, however there are some underlying issues that need to be addressed. I would not suggest a divorce. That should ALWAYS be the last resort. I am divorced and was willing to talk to the Pastor and/or get marriage counseling, my ex, the deceiver, was not interested in either. Which at that point a divorce was necessary. Please don't disregard the sacred vows of marriage. |
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She completely lied to him. He has the right to decide whether or not he still wanted to marry her if he couldn't have children. She took his right to choose away. She took away his right to have children or at least decide whether or not he wanted them. To me... she's a liar and cheated her way into this marriage. I would be filing for divorce. Not because she can't have children, but that she lied about it and purposly deceived him. im with you there jill. this is why i did that thread earlier, i said i would be upfront and tell him straight away theres a possibilty i may not be able to have kids, and my chances are lower. i could never lie like that lady has done. thats sick 
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She completely lied to him. He has the right to decide whether or not he still wanted to marry her if he couldn't have children. She took his right to choose away. She took away his right to have children or at least decide whether or not he wanted them. To me... she's a liar and cheated her way into this marriage. I would be filing for divorce. Not because she can't have children, but that she lied about it and purposly deceived him. im with you there jill. this is why i did that thread earlier, i said i would be upfront and tell him straight away theres a possibilty i may not be able to have kids, and my chances are lower. i could never lie like that lady has done. thats sick |
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 waiting on bombshell from OP |
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Marriage should be based on trust. She puropsly hid this from him because she had suspicions he may not marry her had he known. How can he possibly trust her now?? What she did was just plain wrong and cruel.
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