Hi, I will try to make this as short as I can. My daughter was in an abusive relationship, not only to her but her two year old son.I tried to talk her into leaving everyday, she would not listen to anything I had to say.
I could not sit back and not do anything. I called C.P.S.
They came out to her house and after talking to her and myself decided to take her to a womens shelter. She stayed two days then decided she wasn't going to stay any longer.They told her if she goes back to her boyfriend then her son would be took from her. They have moved in with me, but she is talking about going to "talk" to the creep.I have got papers stating that if anything happens my grandson will remain with me.As of right now she is not allowed to be left alone with her son at all.
I am at my wits end, I don't know what to say to her or to do to keep her away from this so called man.If anyone has any adice for me I would love to hear it.

outside influences help more than most people think

You can't keep her from making mistakes...she'll have to learn on her own...just protect the kid

i think you've done the right thing.

Yes I will do anything I have to do to protect this little guy, he has been through too much already.

I'm glad that you called CPS. You can't do anything to control your daughter, she has her own choices to make. Your grandson should be SAFE in the process.

Thank you. I think I have done what had to be done. But I feel as if I betrayed my daughter....

I h8 hearing about those situations, I just don't understand some people...

Exactly....just be there for the little one.

It sounds like your daughter and I have had something in common, only I left when he hit my daughter and didn't look back. Everyone and I mean everyone tried to talk some sense into me but I am a little hard headed. It took me coming to my own senses before I got smart enought to leave, fortunetly it only took him hitting our daughter once for me to come to my senses.

This same daughter is now 21 and I am going through a situation very similiar with her and my grandson. I had hoped that she would learn from my mistakes.

Experience tells me that until they come to their own senses there isn't anything that they will listen to.

you will not keep her from talking to him no matter how hard you try..I was in a situation like your daughters and I wouldn't listen to my family......my son was taken from me for about a week before I finally saw the light and opened my eyes.....sometimes people just have to learn on their own

I would try to contact your community/ or county's public human services building and meet with a social worker. They can help to find counselors and resources for your family's needs at this time.

We can't always fix everything ourselves. In my opinion, I think some outside professional help is needed in this case.

Protect your grandson at all costs. We all know you truly love your daughter and in time she will realise that too!!

You did do the right thing! But...SHE needs to realize that staying with an abuser can leave her child without a Mother. Remind her of THAT the next time she wants to talk/see him. She has gotten use to be treated that way. She has to retrain her mind, that that is not the way a woman should be treated. Of course, she likely tell you that he'd never REALLY hurt her.

Good Luck!

Yes we do have CPS trying to help. But as they say she is old enough to make up her own mind. Her son will not be allowed to go back with her if she has any contact with this guy. She makes excuses for him and says it wasn't that bad. I would love to shake some sense into her.

I am a social work student, so if you want some advice, please send me an email.

Is this man the child's father?

I would flat out ask her, why is this man more important than her son? If she loses him it is because she chose things that were not in his best interest or safety. If it were just her, she can do what she wants. But to disregard her son?

Ask her how she would answer him if he said, "Mommy why do you love him more than me? Why aren't I important enough?"

Keep telling your daughter about all her talents & potential, so she does not think her value is based on a relationship with a man.

Let her go. Sounds like your grandson will be better off without her. Time to stop worring about her and care for your grandson. Good luck.

If this were YOUR daughter? This is seriously your advice? Do you have kids?