I think my ex is avoiding seeing/talking to the kids because he knows that he owes me about $8,000 of cs. He lives 1/2 mile away from me and the last time he saw/talked to the kids was Jan. 29, 2008. The boys even called him on Father's Day and his birthday (which he did not answer the phone both times). I could care less about his money (I would have taken him back to court if I really needed/wanted the money)...it's to the point where my boys doesn't even want to see their dad anymore.

Has this ever happened to anyone before?

Yes this has happened to me,My son is now 22 and engaged and he wants nothing at all to do with his father or his family.We were divorced when my son was 2,he has only seen my son 1 other time since then,just a little word of encouragement,just tell your child that its your gain and his loss,he will need his child one day,and it may be to late!!I ask my son if he wanted to invite his dad or family when he graduated,and now that he is getting married,and he said why would I even consider it,he was never there when I was younger so why should he be a part of the most important times in my life,take the attitude,take the money and let him set it jail,what good is he doing your child out,my ex owes me 91,000.00 in back child support but money is just money,and my son is my world,hang in there!!!!

What a A$$, I would never give up my time with my son

sorry to here it !!
some men just don't understand responsibility !!

yep my daughter's father moved to tx to escape it, and my lil boys dad has stayed in jail to avoid it...here u can't collect support if the father is in prison...bs

my son is 19 and his dad has never paid 1 penny....that's okay though, because my son now realizes what a bum his dad is and states on a daily basis he will never treat his children the way his dad does....my son now calls him the sperm donor...

I don't know about where you live, but here in Texas, visitation has nothing to do with money. The payor can be a deadbeat, but it doesn't interfere one bit with visitation rights!!

If your concern really is for the child and parent relationship with Dad, don't press the money issue at all and just get them together. You can do your attorney general or court stuff about money in a totally different arena/venue.

As I understand this, the father is showing he has no REAL interest in being a fatner. His loss.
If you want send him a letter stating that he can see the children, IF HE CHOSES & they WANT to see him. Then you will have done all YOU can. Let it go from there. Send it REGISTERED.

Some parents just don't seem to understand what that is doing to the children. If he can not afford the child support, the mature thing to have done is sit down with you and try to work something out. Now the kids are suffering!!! His life is easy he doesn't have to see the damage he is really causing and that's not right!!!! I am so sorry for you and your boys but there really isn't anything you can do to make him realize what he is doing to them. I go through the same thing with my daughter's dad but I made the mistake of letting him just pop in and out of her life and I think that was worst than just letting him stay out of her life. He calls every few months I guess when the urge hits him or he feels bad and feeds her lines of BS and he has no excuse I never put him on child support but she has seen it for herself and she made her own choice and your boys will too!!!! A deadbeat is just a deadbeat!!!

I have never asked him for child support, like I said before, I don't want or need it. We have court orders that he is suppose to take the boys every other weekend and he is suppose to pay $982 a month (but we agreed to $600 per month), but he hasn't gone thru with it once since our divorce (3 years ago). I have never deny him of seeing the kids, whenever he wanted to see them, I had them ready. But the past year, he has not shown any interests in them. I know that the kids needs a father, but we are happy with our lives right now.

Unfortunately a lot of men miss out on being the dad they need to be. Paying support to some is seen as just taking care of their ex. The kids with or without the money need a stable dad in the picture. But, we can't make people do things...Try to encourage him to be with them. And no need to talk bad about him to the kids. They'll figure that part out on their own...

My Child Support comes right out of my paycheck every two weeks. We could have done it another way but it sure is easy for me to pay it to the state, then they deposit in her checking account.

As for visitation, every other wk-end for me and some in between times too.

Could be he feels bad about the money, and now he feels bad about not seeing the kids, and its cycling downward. Send a letter, initiate contact.

Good Luck

I honestly believe that the children should not know anything about child support. This has nothing to do with them, they are the innocent ones and they should not be dragged into it. So I think both parties should keep the kids out of it. I know its easy for both parties to say something like..well I didn't get my support check again. And the father might say, well if I didn't have to pay so much we could do more! Trust me, I have been on both sides of it. But I think what we forget is that the children are the innocent people here.
I think what you need to do is call up their dad and have a little talk with him. Do it when the chidren are not around of course but just tell him, Hey these kids need to be around you even if you don't pay..come and see them.
Now you need to go back to court and have his child support just taken out through his paycheck. Times are tough and why should your children suffer? He helped make them children and he should help support them!! Good luck and don't forget to hug your kids daily

I have played the child support game for 7 yrs now...My daughter now 19 wants nothing to do with her deadbeat dad,and my boys 15 & 10 are pretty much finished listening to his broken promises.I gave him many chances to work things out (not just about the money) he is in arrears $45,000 and we're eventually heading back to court.

My x hardly bothers with the kids.
When we first divorced and i filed for cs he actually asked"can i just sign my rights away?'
Then he told them to put him in jail cuz he wasent payin.
He never has done reg. vivitations or overnites.
Our divorce is final now and its all cuz he dosent want me to have free time to date.
He quit his job last year and they acctualy lowered his support to 50 bucks a month thats for 2 kids!
now he is workin but barely payin anything at all. Its all about the money for him not about the kids.
They hardly bother with him at all anymore cuz now they c him for who he really is.

Could be he is avoiding hs child because he owes you but I doubt it has a lot to do with it. He probably just doesn't want to continue a relationship he considers over or not meeting his needs. Some people just don't get a lot out of being a parent. Unfortuneatly some people do divorce/abandon their kids. Give your kid a break and stop worrying about what kind of parent he is and focus on what kind of parent you are. That is the only person you can control. Your kid can't control either of you but hearing you rag on him only adds to the childs misery,