"i want to get to know you more." is basically an opening to ask alot of questions about that person,and getting to KNOW them.(well,thats what i think)

yeah except there is no follow up question. more often than not it is the statement, preceded or followed by something about themselves, but never by another question. just "I'd like to get to know you more". I agree with you that if it lead to something more specific I wouldn't take an issue with it, except that one statement has been made so many times WITHOUT being used as a segue into something more specific that I have made a note of how often it is asked. and I find myself using "asked" for lack of a better way to describe the point of that statement, because in my mind it is a statement and not a question.

In truth it is a statement and not a question. In the context of "blablabla...." then going on to say somthing about self is a statement and in turn followed with a "first offering"(example?!) of getting to know you(them) more(though more implies they already know you in some small way). I am thinking I might have saiid almost the exact samething beffore though not in a first email

Well understanding there is no follow through I see your point and without follow up it is creepy/ If a man has no follow through in th4e begaining how in the hell can you trust him to have any follow through on anything else.

"Like I am going to mow the lawn" and he pushes the laenmower to the middle of the lawn ad never dose anything else.

Or he takes the kid for a walk and just forgets the follow through of bring the kid back home.

I see your point but don't most men have follow through. Like in the bedroom...well I got mine but it seems I am forgetting something, oh well I will just roll over and sleep on it.

Am I getting it?

I don't think so.

Hi 907daydreamer. I think it is more used as a common courtesy much like hello and goodbye than a pervy request, but I know what you mean. I think its better to be original when emailing someone than using the usual load of old bollocks!!

lol

I'm guilty, I've said that to a few women. I won't anymore, but anymore women just seem to answer solely what is asked and they don't seem to show interest back, they'll just wait for you to ask the questions and it keeps on like that. How boring!

I am a man so....need I say more....

but if I got that question I would message them back and ask what do you want to know....ask and I'll answer....

That does bother me, but another thing that creeps me out is when people say "I didnt put a photo up cause other people delete profiles/play games"??? This just makes me think that they dont want their wife/bf/gf to know their on a internet site. Then they say, I can send a photo to ur email or to ur phone, WTF

I'd love to get an e mail like that. I thinks it's very nice. It sure beats "got any naked pictures"? or "OMG are they real"? I took my picture down because all I got were nasty e mails asking about my body .

no but that black line going across your throat is scary

well, I am guilty of that. the reason behind it is that I try to be original when I email someone...and I feel like I don't very often get the same from other people. when someone has read my profile and says something in their email to indicate as much then I respond in kind. if I feel like I'm getting the same email they send to every other girl that has caught their eye then why bother putting much effort into a response?



I get those too. well, not so much the "OMG are they real" but yeah, equally distasteful surface emails. My frustration is with the overall lack of effort that some people put into this. it's like the "why are you on a dating site" or "why are you single" emails. WTF is that? how exactly are they expecting me to respond?



more scary to me that it's necessary.

Well...you could always use your response to find out if they have a decent sense of humor.

Something to the effect of..

" Psst...<nudge nudge>...try asking questions if you want to " get to know me " "

...would probably suffice....lol

I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that men get worn down and as tired of some of the BS that makes up online communication, as we women do.

My guess is that after a few dozen unanswered emails they just don't want to invest the time/energy into getting specific with their questions until they have a reasonable assurance that the other person is at least mildly interested in continuing the process with them.

Written communication is not everyone's strong suit, so sometimes you have to read between the lines and give an extra benefit of the doubt with regard to intent/sincerity, etc.

Ya know, that is actually a very good point.

Most of the time we don't even get a " Sorry, you aren't my type " of something similar. Just no response at all.

There are only so many times a guy is going to be willing to put specific questions in writing, and have that effort ignored, before he just stops putting much effort into it at all.

Anyone who takes the time to e mail me, male or female, will get an answer, unless they are really obviously offensive.

I'm with you littleredhen - it's just a common courtesy, imo. No one likes to be left wondering, no one.

I agree with you Elaine but it's a bit of an evil cycle at a certain point. if everyone gives up, no one wins.

I know - trust me, I know. It's just that sometimes that first email isn't always a true reflecter of the person or what they're capable of. I experienced this the other day - where a man's first email didn't come close to showing me the personality and spark that I've since seen in his correspondence. He admitted in the 2nd or 3rd message that he hadn't really expected a response to his first email (based on past experience) and that hesitancy and guardedness came through - why would anyone want to invest much at this stage if it's only going to be another dead end, right?!

I really try to give everyone who writes me a decent effort - even if I'm not interested, because I know how easily I can be discouraged by all of this stuff too.