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Topic: Haiku (My Attempt)
no photo
Thu 07/10/08 04:53 PM
Edited by Unknow on Thu 07/10/08 04:53 PM
White Roses

White pedal roses,
so pure to my inner soul,
Gods beauty, to hold

WAM 7/10/08


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Tranquil Waters

Calm tranquil waters,
steer me down the path of life,
no heart-ache, no strife

WAM 7/10/08

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Humming Bird

Humming bird flutter,
with such speed, beauty, and grace,
won't hasten her pace.

WAM7/10/08

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AngelLight

AngelLights words shine
from pure love deep in her mind
perfect rhythm,rhyme

WAM 7/10/08

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Wolfeyes58

Wolfeye58s
childrens stories are so good
as her motherhood.

WAM 7/10/08

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MsWizard

MsWizards poems
are so sexual to us all,
leaves wet, and bulged.

WAM 7/10/08

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Abracadabra

Abracadabra
is the best of us all,
with words ten feet tall.

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MsTeddybear

Hi MsTeddyBear,
your the one who hugs, and cares.
Hugs and no dispair.

WAM 7/10/08

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LurchesSister

LurchesSister, your
rythmes and words are missed here,
bye to you with tears.

WAM 7/10/08

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LaMom

The mom from La.
poems to you are just play.
Always bright, not grey.

WAM 7/10/08

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d4tc

To d4tc
your poems are great to me.
Dude please change those sheets.

WAM 7/10/08





no photo
Thu 07/10/08 04:55 PM
What nice tributes!! flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 07/10/08 05:03 PM

What nice tributes!! flowerforyou
drinker thank you i hope they like them too flowerforyou

Abracadabra's photo
Thu 07/10/08 05:35 PM
One!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

One! One! One!

Oh?

One?

Oh, One Two Three.

He writes haiku for you and me. bigsmile

no photo
Thu 07/10/08 05:38 PM


What nice tributes!! flowerforyou
drinker thank you i hope they like them too flowerforyou


They do :heart:

d4tc's photo
Thu 07/10/08 07:54 PM
laugh laugh laugh
drinker drinker drinker

Housekeeping! :wink:


Takineko's photo
Thu 07/10/08 09:20 PM
Edited by Takineko on Thu 07/10/08 09:24 PM
You really have the right idea, but the Haiku should not be so stressed. Unlike a poem, this is a short matter that reflects this moment, or a singular memory. Relax and write. You will surprise yourself!

Because most Japanese words are polysyllabic, with very short sounds (like the syllables in the three-syllable english word "radio", but unlike the one-syllable words "thought" or "stressed"), the seventeen sounds of a Japanese haiku carry less information than would seventeen syllables. Consequently, writing seventeen syllables in English typically produces a poem that is significantly "longer" than a traditional Japanese haiku.

5-7-5

here is something I will just make up:

I found beauty here
In a place that I forgot
I remember now

Doitashimashi te!
Mata ne,
Steve



no photo
Fri 07/11/08 06:02 AM
:banana: Thanks Abra., MsWizard, d4tc i'm glad you all liked them. I hope you all got as much enjoyment out of them as i do yours. happy blushing

no photo
Fri 07/11/08 06:07 AM
Sorry MsWizard should of said "leaves us wet, and bulged" Edit problem hard to get good help around here.laugh flowerforyou

no photo
Fri 07/11/08 06:28 AM

You really have the right idea, but the Haiku should not be so stressed. Unlike a poem, this is a short matter that reflects this moment, or a singular memory. Relax and write. You will surprise yourself!

Because most Japanese words are polysyllabic, with very short sounds (like the syllables in the three-syllable english word "radio", but unlike the one-syllable words "thought" or "stressed"), the seventeen sounds of a Japanese haiku carry less information than would seventeen syllables. Consequently, writing seventeen syllables in English typically produces a poem that is significantly "longer" than a traditional Japanese haiku.

5-7-5

here is something I will just make up:

I found beauty here
In a place that I forgot
I remember now

Doitashimashi te!
Mata ne,
Steve

Thanks Takineko, but these are the first and only ones i've written, and i don't consider myself a poet, i like to write stories for young adults, children, and music. Bye the way didn't that famous Japanese Haiku artist write that little ditty? (the woman who is world renown)



no photo
Fri 07/11/08 06:38 AM
what nice tributes to our noted poets here. :smile: flowers

no photo
Fri 07/11/08 06:39 AM

what nice tributes to our noted poets here. :smile: flowers


drinker thank you drinker

no photo
Fri 07/11/08 06:56 AM

You really have the right idea, but the Haiku should not be so stressed. Unlike a poem, this is a short matter that reflects this moment, or a singular memory. Relax and write. You will surprise yourself!

Because most Japanese words are polysyllabic, with very short sounds (like the syllables in the three-syllable english word "radio", but unlike the one-syllable words "thought" or "stressed"), the seventeen sounds of a Japanese haiku carry less information than would seventeen syllables. Consequently, writing seventeen syllables in English typically produces a poem that is significantly "longer" than a traditional Japanese haiku.

5-7-5

here is something I will just make up:

I found beauty here
In a place that I forgot
I remember now

Doitashimashi te!
Mata ne,
Steve





I don't believe he's striving for traditional haiku. I believe he's making a first effort. I didn't find his writing forced or stressed. Actually I found it to be quite relaxed as he's apparently quite comfortable with what he wrote and it was reflected in his words...

AngelLight's photo
Fri 07/11/08 09:39 AM
Ty, 1000 :smile: flowers

LAMom's photo
Fri 07/11/08 09:41 AM
Such a delight to come in and see such loving arms
A heart pure A voice heard
Tenderness felt within the words

Hugs & Kiss's
flowers

MsTeddyBear2u's photo
Fri 07/11/08 01:31 PM
Ah well- what can I say, this deserves a...

((((Hug)))) flowers smile2

no photo
Fri 07/11/08 01:38 PM
Great tribute to those in your Haiku'ssssssssssss.........................
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: drinks

Takineko's photo
Fri 07/11/08 06:19 PM
Kobayashi Issa? I don't think so. Her simple words are much more structured and provoking. I enjoyed your writings. I hope to see more of yours in the future! :)

Takineko's photo
Fri 07/11/08 06:25 PM
MsWizard, please do not misunderstand, I liked what 10001110123(Did I remember it correctly?) wrote. I agree with you. Any poem anyone writes is special because it reflects an ability and a need to create. I thought my post to 10001110123 would be sent private, I was not trying to 'pee in his Cherrios'. :)

Takineko's photo
Fri 07/11/08 06:27 PM


Tranquil Waters

Calm tranquil waters,
steer me down the path of life,
no heart-ache, no strife

WAM 7/10/08

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Humming Bird

Humming bird flutter,
with such speed, beauty, and grace,
won't hasten her pace.



These two are my favorite.

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