Demonstrations of respect and appreciation go a long way with some of us.

I never wanted kids. I knew that in my 20's. I knew it before I graduated from high school.

If you think that way, then you are correct, and all the people you being into your life WILL be that way.

Whether you think you're right, or think you're wrong...You're right...

You misunderstood. I wasn't referring to you. I was explaining that it is difficult for a person to know if their partner will be a deadbeat when it comes to children if they have nothing to compare it to and the person has been mostly responsible elsewhere.

I had this situation occur with my ex husband/sperm donor for my child. *I'm not being mean, it was his choice to donate and run. Not mine.

Well, that's pretty misogynistic and bad thinking, don't you agree? I'm sure you don't really think or feel that way. Too negative to attract anything good into your life that way.

Well, Sir Galahad eventually did find the Grail...according to legend. So there's hope.

Yes, once his lessons were learned...

Seems I've answered this before, but I can't resist doing it again. I don't know if chivalry is dead, but the pulse is definately weak.

I've had women say "I can get it myself" when I've attempted to open a door or pull out a chair for them. I've had a woman stand shivering in the cold, even after offering her my sweater (which I did not put back on after removing). Here's one that most men can relate too, I've opened a car door for a woman, waited for her to sit, closed the door, and when reaching my side, still had to unlock my door.

The thing is, I don't think modern women appreciate it when you are chivalrous. Not because they think that you are being condescending or such, but because they might not notice that you are doing it. I don't think anyone teaches the stuff anymore. I was raised by my grandfathers, so I had it drilled into me, but I think a lot of it was lost and not passed on.

It can be appreciated. My brother recently told me a story about taking his jacket off and laying it on the parially frozen concrete so that a woman who had come from the pool at her hotel would be standing on it barefoot while she was smoking. She thought it was cool enough to give him her room number at the hotel. He being married, and she being twenty years younger, he didn't go up. He did laugh though because the five twenty-something year old guys he was hanging with didn't get near as far with their outlandish ways of trying to impress a woman as he did with that simple gesture.

I think chivalry's death will come. The art of courting is already dead, which is a shame because I don't know how to date. I blame McDonalds and Walmart for that. They taught us all that we can have whatever we want know and don't have to wait for it. It used to be that only men were impatient with the speed that relationships move, but now the women are too. Chivalry will be the fault of both men and women, because men are slowly giving up trying, and women no longer acknowledge it.

Was she ice fishing in the pool???

No, man the pool was indoors, she came outside to smoke. Everyone knows smokers aren't allowed in public places anymore. We are "unclean" much like lepers.

Of course, I might have to MOVE to Holmes County, Ohio, or Lancaster County, PA to find her...

Not everyone wants cancer

He hid it quite well. I thought we were on the same page..I had no plan to change him..after 5 years of marriage - he changed; he decided he wanted to do things he did not do when we married. How is that my fault?

You are divorced, are you not? Is that your fault? Did you pick the wrong woman for selfish and silly reasons? Why didn't you simply marry the right one in the first place so you would not be on here looking for a replacement?

Good luck with that, there are more causes than just one though, and the smoking really wasn't the subject of the story, but it's nice to know that's all that shown through.

Yes, I did make a bad choice. I'll admit it. I never should have married a schizophrenic--I should have taken the time to learn what that was going to mean for the relationship. But, technically, I'm not even divorced. She didn't show up for the hearing, and the judge refused to grant me a divorce without her presence.

and you are trying to date? Is that chilvarous?

In two more years, I could have her declared legally dead. Is THAT chivalrous? I have no reason to believe she's alive, since I haven't seen her since March 2002. She left me the day after Thanksgiving, 2001. I reported her missing to the police. She turned up in March, looking terrible. I took her in, got her showered, gave her some of MY clothes to wear...since they fit her...bought her some cigarettes...and then she took off again. I don't think she was taking her meds at the time, but not much I could do about that.

For all intents and purposes, I'm SINGLE.

Sorry you are going through this. Must be horrible.

chivalry is not dead here

My fault though. So I obviously deserve it.