Community > Parenting Talk

Topic: Daughter on Self-destruct
oldsage Joined Thu 09/14/06 Posts: 18043	Mon 05/12/08 06:28 AM
I believe in tough love, done nicely. Take her for a drug test, on the sly or straight up. Getting her a physical "to see if everything medical is OK" way to do it on the sly. Set her down for an open conversation, ask her WHY. Son blew a chance to go to Annopolis, which he said he wanted, was NOT being pushed. We worked 4 months to get political/etc. things in line. All he needed was good grades. Started school, playing football & straight A's. Mid quarter reports were perfect, when grades came put B's & C's. Annopolis was out the window. I set him down & asked why, because didn't cut it. Tough love, works & is sometimes the best route. He is now 15 yrs Navy, has had a good life & retirement career opps. are fantastic.

therooster Joined Mon 03/31/08 Posts: 866	Mon 05/12/08 12:16 PM
maybe its time to let go. and trust that all the things you tried to instill in her while she was growing up kick in on of these days. in my experience it never happened according to my timetable. i'm 50 and still make mistakes, or bad decisions.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Mon 05/12/08 12:57 PM
She is going inpatient.

therooster Joined Mon 03/31/08 Posts: 866	Mon 05/12/08 01:24 PM
well thats a good first step. but it's only the beginning. red skies in the morning sailor take warning!!!

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Mon 05/12/08 01:25 PM
well thats a good first step. but it's only the beginning. red skies in the morning sailor take warning!!! what does this mean?

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Mon 05/12/08 01:27 PM
She was out of control and violent, threatening suicide. I called the police and she told the officer she wanted to commit suicide. She is in isolation now; waiting to be transferred to an inpatient facility. I came home to pack some clothes and wait for them to call me and tell me where to go.

therooster Joined Mon 03/31/08 Posts: 866	Mon 05/12/08 03:41 PM
it means get ready, when my son turned 15, got into drugs, alcohol, fighting, stealing, lying, ect. there was'nt anything i could say or do. tried to be there for him but even that became to much to bear. police, jail, judges, lawyers, time, money, it all gets old, just had to let him go!!! i feel for you,

therooster Joined Mon 03/31/08 Posts: 866	Mon 05/12/08 03:49 PM
he's 24 now, he's a convicted felon, he's done hard time, and he's on parol. i just pray for him, and hope one day he can live in peace with himself and the world.

symbelmyne Joined Mon 01/14/08 Posts: 5356	Mon 05/12/08 03:50 PM
My daughter has been an honor student all through high school. She was ready to take a trip to Spain with her Spanish club; and planning on attending college locally. Suddenly she just stopped going to school; wound up suspended; and is no longer eligible for the trip. We lost $3,000. She is also probably not going to graduate. I got her to a counsellor but I am at wit's end. Why is she throwing her life away like this? I don't understand. DRUGS!!!!!!

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Mon 05/12/08 08:36 PM
My daughter has been an honor student all through high school. She was ready to take a trip to Spain with her Spanish club; and planning on attending college locally. Suddenly she just stopped going to school; wound up suspended; and is no longer eligible for the trip. We lost $3,000. She is also probably not going to graduate. I got her to a counsellor but I am at wit's end. Why is she throwing her life away like this? I don't understand. DRUGS!!!!!! I think you may have something there. They are doing bloodwork, and urine tests.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Mon 05/12/08 08:36 PM
he's 24 now, he's a convicted felon, he's done hard time, and he's on parol. i just pray for him, and hope one day he can live in peace with himself and the world. Oh my.I am so sorry. This is so difficult.

FallinAngel82 Joined Fri 01/26/07 Posts: 12261	Mon 05/12/08 08:42 PM
i know that most everyone is sayin she might be with the wrong crowd or might be doing drugs when i graduated, alot of students who were good kids and good students through out all of highschool went through this weeks before graduation they werent doing drugs or hangin out with new ppl they just had a bad case of senioritus got so excited that they were finally going to be out of highschool they started acting like they already were, for ur and ur daughters sake i'm prayin that is all it is, but keep her with a councelor just in case something else is bothering her sending prayers

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Mon 05/12/08 08:49 PM
i know that most everyone is sayin she might be with the wrong crowd or might be doing drugs when i graduated, alot of students who were good kids and good students through out all of highschool went through this weeks before graduation they werent doing drugs or hangin out with new ppl they just had a bad case of senioritus got so excited that they were finally going to be out of highschool they started acting like they already were, for ur and ur daughters sake i'm prayin that is all it is, but keep her with a councelor just in case something else is bothering her sending prayers It's funny that you say that..she kept claiming that's what it was..but missing a month of school? And then..well, all that other stuff happened.

Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Mon 05/12/08 08:52 PM
She was out of control and violent, threatening suicide. I called the police and she told the officer she wanted to commit suicide. She is in isolation now; waiting to be transferred to an inpatient facility. I came home to pack some clothes and wait for them to call me and tell me where to go. (((Hiker))) She needs help. She will be safe there and will be taken care of properly. Hopefully, she will be back to her old self soon. My heart goes out to you.

May777 Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 1238	Mon 05/12/08 08:53 PM
a boy ?

FallinAngel82 Joined Fri 01/26/07 Posts: 12261	Mon 05/12/08 08:53 PM
well teach me to skip page 2. i will send lots of prayers for both you and her

Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Mon 05/12/08 08:55 PM Edited by Winx on Mon 05/12/08 08:56 PM
it means get ready, when my son turned 15, got into drugs, alcohol, fighting, stealing, lying, ect. there was'nt anything i could say or do. tried to be there for him but even that became to much to bear. police, jail, judges, lawyers, time, money, it all gets old, just had to let him go!!! i feel for you, You did what you had to do. Everything that Alanon and Naranon teach people is to let go with love. Enabling doesn't work. I am so sorry.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Mon 05/12/08 08:56 PM
well teach me to skip page 2. i will send lots of prayers for both you and her Hey that's ok. You had a good point. I was hoping that was all it was too.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Mon 05/12/08 08:57 PM
She was out of control and violent, threatening suicide. I called the police and she told the officer she wanted to commit suicide. She is in isolation now; waiting to be transferred to an inpatient facility. I came home to pack some clothes and wait for them to call me and tell me where to go. (((Hiker))) She needs help. She will be safe there and will be taken care of properly. Hopefully, she will be back to her old self soon. My heart goes out to you. I can finally really rest now that I know she is safe. I always worry about her.

Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Mon 05/12/08 09:01 PM
She was out of control and violent, threatening suicide. I called the police and she told the officer she wanted to commit suicide. She is in isolation now; waiting to be transferred to an inpatient facility. I came home to pack some clothes and wait for them to call me and tell me where to go. (((Hiker))) She needs help. She will be safe there and will be taken care of properly. Hopefully, she will be back to her old self soon. My heart goes out to you. I can finally really rest now that I know she is safe. I always worry about her. I can imagine that it's like a weight off of your shoulders.