Let's not be too rough on our own ignorance. It's what makes America great!"
-- Frank Zappa.

Roaring Twenties nightclub queen Mary Louise "Texas" Guinan used to greet every new customer with a cheerful "Hello, Sucker!" Today, our political leaders think the same phrase when performing their various shell games on Americans, but they're a lot less cheerful about it.

President Bush, last week, confronting the writhing agony known as our economy, did the only thing a stand-up kinda leader could do...he blamed it all on the Democratic Congress. As Dana Milbank wrote in "The Washington Post," "He faulted lawmakers 16 times in his opening statement alone."

And you could tell Bush was serious. He wore his patented "constipated ape" expression.

Bush addressed America's financial woes in lofty, technical terms. "And so I firmly believe that, you know, if there was a magic wand to wave, I'd be waving it, of course."

He later explained: "I think that if there was a magic wand to say, 'OK, drop price,' I'd do that."

As reporters waited for Bush to switch metaphors, stick his thumb up his ass, crook his free arm skyward and warble, "I'm a little despot," he went back to his wand waving, instead.

Further clarifying his trickle-down approach to Harry Potter, he offered: "But there is no magic wand to wave right now."

Presumably, a wand will be found in the near future?

Until that time, we will be stuck with Bush's old magical meanderings. He said that the economy would be helped by making his tax cuts permanent. A lie. He said the current gas crisis would be helped by cracking open Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. A lie. He said that the current gas crisis would be eased by building more oil refineries. A lie. He also refused to use the word "recession," feeling that Americans don't care about labels. This is probably why he also refused to use the word "moron."

Later in the week, he declared: "My Administration has been clear and candid on the state of the economy. We saw the economic slowdown coming, we were up front about these concerns with the American people, and we've been taking decisive action." A lie.

In his radio address, Bush touted his tax rebates of $600 to $1200 as manna for the maxed-out. "Most economic experts predict that the stimulus will have a positive effect on the economy in this quarter and even a greater impact in the next. And Americans should have confidence in the long-term outlook for our economy." A lie.

Is it any wonder that, in a casual interview in-between magical spells, Bush could actually say: "Interestingly enough, it is a lot harder to have been the son of the president than to be the president. And, so, it's been a joyous experience." For whom?

Now, while Bush is as ignorant about economics as he is, uh, everything else, he does have competition for the vaunted King of Fools mantle. Here's John McCain explaining to members of construction and trade unions why migrant farm workers are hurting our economy.

"Now, my friends, I'll offer anybody here $50 an hour if you'll go pick lettuce in Yuma this season and pick for the whole season. So -- OK? Sign up. OK. You sign up. You sign up, and you'll be there for the whole season, the whole season. OK? Not just one day. Because you can't do it, my friend."

A rough translation. He's telling folks who do the most backbreaking labor imaginable that they're not up to picking lettuce...for $400 a day. Or $2,000 a week. Or $104,000 a year. Adding insult to imagery, last I heard, migrant lettuce pickers weren't making $50 an hour.

Now, it's easy to excuse McCain's economic embolisms because, basically, he's an idiot. But how do you justify Hillary Clinton's newfound foray into financial fantasyland? Answer: you can't.

Both McCain and Clinton have recently embraced a summer gas tax vacation. This piece of election year chicanery would lift the 18.4-cent Federal gas tax (24.4 cents for diesel) for summer months. McCain wouldn't bother to make up the lost money. Clinton says that the lost revenue will be replaced by windfall profit taxes imposed on oil companies...taxes Congress will never impose.

The plan would save Americans an average of $30 over the summer. It would cost the government at least $8 billion, most of which has been earmarked for keeping our infrastructure (roads, bridges, etc.) from total collapse. This lack of funding, in turn, would cost about 300,000 jobs. It would increase the profits of oil companies because more gas will be consumed. It doesn't guarantee lower gas prices at the pump, either. In fact, because of increased demand during the already hard-pressed summer months, it might actually send gas prices higher.
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/14445
read the rest at

I put so many drinkers up..because you have to be that drunk as to laugh instead of cry when you see where this country has gone!

constipated ape

The plan would save Americans an average of $30 over the summer

What a spin this is - should read - the plan would save Americans an average of $30 over the summer on the cost of gasoline for their private automobiles.

Small businesses are the backbone of the US, owned by average Americans. Some of these businesses consume a lot of gas just to exists. Many of these busineses are owned by average self employed Americans. Thus the relief could be more far reaching than $30 for many Americans.

Of course they say we would never see relief at the grocery store but who really knows.

And for it to have an effect it is true that someone would have to figure out a good plan to impose the tax savings directly to Americans.

Constipated ape was funny, though, a little humor in the middle of something so disgusting.

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like they lose IQ points when they read the transcripts of Bush speeches and interviews?

<------------
Waves the magic wand and gives War bonus IQ points.
Just for the summer though.........

Crap, you wasted that on me! You could have waved that wand and turned Neocons into fuzzy rabbits, probably man eating bunnies like the one from Holy Grail, but bunnies none the less!


on the bright side, I have a summer to get my doctorate in quantum physics and a bachelors in sexual psychology.

i HAV E tYPNG 101 TIS summer

Yeah right...blame Bush for everything...it's the Democrat congress who is holding up drilling so we don't have to pay these prices...but go ahead. You keep thinking the way you do...all the way to the poor house.

With everything going up...food & energy, just the basics...yep! This economy will tank. Makes you wonder who the REAL baffoons are.

you seem familiar...didnt I just see you over at the Monkey House?

and he has speech writers to help him out and still messes it up

The real buffons are the ones who do not know that the shortage isnt so much oil as it is refined gasoline. Isnt that what the republicans do best? manufacture a crisis and have a ready made solution? its no coincidence that the solution usualy makes a larg campaign doner rich

Problem Reaction Solution.

They create the problem, wait for the stupid idiots who want the Government to be A Nanny state to start boohooing for help, and then provide a preplanned solution.