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| Topic: Honesty counts | |
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Honestly? A dating a single mother is one of the most helpless things for a guy i can think of. You got to deal with the bio-dad, who generally aren't to happy about you. No matter what he does, you can't do anything. You gotta deal with the kid, no matter what the kid does or says he's subject to the mom's rules, which means if you disagree with any parenting methods, you pretty much have to sit and shut the hel1 up. You have to deal with any date being interupted, postponed, canceled. All sex can only happen at specific times (when the kids are asleep, away, or busy). You have to manage the relastionship with the kid. Meaning if you get to close, you'll lose alot if the relastionship ends, if you dont get close enough your a jerk. You have to deal with everyone telling you, your not the kids father, reguardless if your want to be or not. The kid also lives wit hthe mother 99% of the time, so if you end up living together, your going to either ignore the kid or taking a very active role in there life. Kids won't allow themselfs to be half-assed
And through all of this, you can't complain once. You can't say a word about it. Your suppose to be understanding. That is alot to ask of anyone. The girl rarely makes it worth it. The kids are honestly the ones that make it worth it in the end. I don't shun or run away. If you want me to be honest, i think about it and take it into consideration. If i date her, i can expect these things... The same way as if i was going to date a disabled chick, a busy CEO, or a health nut chick. Honestly, the majority of the single moms put 'i have a kid, if you can't deal with it, dont waste my time'. Then you get upset and suprised when they don't. It still applys to guys you really want to date to, just as much as the insensitive jerks. |
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Edited by
TheShadow
on
Thu 06/26/08 03:36 PM
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Honestly? A dating a single mother is one of the most helpless things for a guy i can think of. You got to deal with the bio-dad, who generally aren't to happy about you. No matter what he does, you can't do anything. You gotta deal with the kid, no matter what the kid does or says he's subject to the mom's rules, which means if you disagree with any parenting methods, you pretty much have to sit and shut the hel1 up. You have to deal with any date being interupted, postponed, canceled. All sex can only happen at specific times (when the kids are asleep, away, or busy). You have to manage the relastionship with the kid. Meaning if you get to close, you'll lose alot if the relastionship ends, if you dont get close enough your a jerk. You have to deal with everyone telling you, your not the kids father, reguardless if your want to be or not. The kid also lives wit hthe mother 99% of the time, so if you end up living together, your going to either ignore the kid or taking a very active role in there life. Kids won't allow themselfs to be half-assed And through all of this, you can't complain once. You can't say a word about it. Your suppose to be understanding. That is alot to ask of anyone. The girl rarely makes it worth it. The kids are honestly the ones that make it worth it in the end. I don't shun or run away. If you want me to be honest, i think about it and take it into consideration. If i date her, i can expect these things... The same way as if i was going to date a disabled chick, a busy CEO, or a health nut chick. Honestly, the majority of the single moms put 'i have a kid, if you can't deal with it, dont waste my time'. Then you get upset and suprised when they don't. It still applys to guys you really want to date to, just as much as the insensitive jerks. I have to disagree some what about the first part of what you said. Not all men are not willing to work with things and that alone shows the person your invoved with. that you have an open mind to lifes situations. I been in a couple relationships where there were kids. It didn't change one thing on how are relationship went. It's all in you and if your ready to actually love them. You can't have the mother and and not the children or child. It's a all in one thing. Not ill take this half and leave the rest. Not saying what you said don't happen, but it's not like that with every relationship where kids are involved. I still love my ex little girl and i treated her as if she was my own. Yeah they father came back around, but it didn't stop anything. |
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Ok here lies a serious ? Why is it that when guys see's tht a girl has kids they run like hell. SMB A.K.A Angel I don't. I think that a lot of guys are afraid of the responsibility that goes along with it. They want a woman and not the extras. I could honestly care less as long as she is still willing to relocate. |
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I find that my child screens a lot of losers. I find it hard to date but I think the person who has the patience to deal with this package deal will be my soulmate. I dont have any drama w/ a baby daddy and I dont need anyone to take care of me and my lil one. If anyone runs because someone's a parent its not a bad thing- they just aren't on the same page as you relationship wise. They are doing you a favor by running and you have more time to spend w/ your child-- who is the most important person right now anyway. It sucks because it gets lonley but kids wont be little forever and eventually you can have more time for dating.
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I find that my child screens a lot of losers. I find it hard to date but I think the person who has the patience to deal with this package deal will be my soulmate. I dont have any drama w/ a baby daddy and I dont need anyone to take care of me and my lil one. If anyone runs because someone's a parent its not a bad thing- they just aren't on the same page as you relationship wise. They are doing you a favor by running and you have more time to spend w/ your child-- who is the most important person right now anyway. It sucks because it gets lonley but kids wont be little forever and eventually you can have more time for dating. I completely agree! |
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Honestly? A dating a single mother is one of the most helpless things for a guy i can think of. You got to deal with the bio-dad, who generally aren't to happy about you. No matter what he does, you can't do anything. You gotta deal with the kid, no matter what the kid does or says he's subject to the mom's rules, which means if you disagree with any parenting methods, you pretty much have to sit and shut the hel1 up. You have to deal with any date being interupted, postponed, canceled. All sex can only happen at specific times (when the kids are asleep, away, or busy). You have to manage the relastionship with the kid. Meaning if you get to close, you'll lose alot if the relastionship ends, if you dont get close enough your a jerk. You have to deal with everyone telling you, your not the kids father, reguardless if your want to be or not. The kid also lives wit hthe mother 99% of the time, so if you end up living together, your going to either ignore the kid or taking a very active role in there life. Kids won't allow themselfs to be half-assed And through all of this, you can't complain once. You can't say a word about it. Your suppose to be understanding. That is alot to ask of anyone. The girl rarely makes it worth it. The kids are honestly the ones that make it worth it in the end. I don't shun or run away. If you want me to be honest, i think about it and take it into consideration. If i date her, i can expect these things... The same way as if i was going to date a disabled chick, a busy CEO, or a health nut chick. Honestly, the majority of the single moms put 'i have a kid, if you can't deal with it, dont waste my time'. Then you get upset and suprised when they don't. It still applys to guys you really want to date to, just as much as the insensitive jerks. I have to disagree some what about the first part of what you said. Not all men are not willing to work with things and that alone shows the person your invoved with. that you have an open mind to lifes situations. I been in a couple relationships where there were kids. It didn't change one thing on how are relationship went. It's all in you and if your ready to actually love them. You can't have the mother and and not the children or child. It's a all in one thing. Not ill take this half and leave the rest. Not saying what you said don't happen, but it's not like that with every relationship where kids are involved. I still love my ex little girl and i treated her as if she was my own. Yeah they father came back around, but it didn't stop anything. Kids effect every aspect of there life. It bleeds over into the relastionship. I wasn't saying they made or broke the relastionship, i'm saying that they effect it. Usually when the fact that she has a kid breaks the relastionship, it goes back to the #1 thing. It's usually the girls who put the guy as #1 or more commonly a very distant #2, or they have a problem with the guy's putting the kid as #1 as well. I think in a healthy relastionship both mom and dating guy put the kid as #1, and they share the #2 spot. I am talking long term of course. |
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If he runs when he first finds out, that is much better than running after he gets what he wants out of you for a couple times and plays it off for a while to see how much you are willing to give without commitment, which is the alternative to him running when he first hears. I think that is a good move on his part, don't you?
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If he runs when he first finds out, that is much better than running after he gets what he wants out of you for a couple times and plays it off for a while to see how much you are willing to give without commitment, which is the alternative to him running when he first hears. I think that is a good move on his part, don't you? you said it. |
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Ok here lies a serious ? Why is it that when guys see's tht a girl has kids they run like hell. SMB A.K.A Angel In my case, it's because I tried it when I was younger and found out that it simply doesn't work for me. No need to pretend otherwise. |
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