I don't know if this was posted or not, but always a good laugh when read again....

No Sex Tonight

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men
and women differ so much. And I never have figured
out the whole Venus and Mars thing.. I have never
figured out why men think with their head and women
with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I
were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to
heat up, and she eventually says 'I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every husband on the
planet dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch
with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to
satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded
to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love
me for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that
night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of
work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice
lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several very expensive outfits. She
couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd
just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a
pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry
department where she picked out pair of diamond
earrings.

Let me tell you....she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I
started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's
fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual
satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw
dropped with a baffled----'WHAT?'
I then said 'honey, I just want you to HOLD this
stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my
financial means as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either

Funny stuff.

very funny! really great!(((Robert)))

I'm glad ya'll liked it and got a good laugh.

A good laugh always works for me! Love ya, (((Robert)))!

Always liked this joke Rob, good one, take care Bro

Still funny!!

its so funny because it is so true lol

that was awesome!

This is definately a good one...thanks for posting..Check