Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: i've been going to the bar lately
gammalight6000 Joined Sun 12/23/07 Posts: 5403	Sun 04/20/08 07:45 PM
I agree with finding a hobby. meetup.com is a pretty cool social site, finding groups with similar interests etc. good to make new acquaintances and potential friends too... I also agree w/ finding activities in other areas of your community. I joined a hiking group, learned to kayak, taking Salsa lessons (dancing) and a few others. I'm soooo busy w/ new friends and new hobbies I'm hardly home. Good luck. i am a very busy person but i get home for a few hours and it sucks some times I think we all get that way sometimes. At least I know I do. It passes though. ya this is true...you guys have helped me tonight..thank you That's cool bro. You know if I was in Texas...I'd hang with you. thanx mang

toreybelle Joined Sun 10/28/07 Posts: 2132	Sun 04/20/08 07:52 PM
I agree with finding a hobby. meetup.com is a pretty cool social site, finding groups with similar interests etc. good to make new acquaintances and potential friends too... I also agree w/ finding activities in other areas of your community. I joined a hiking group, learned to kayak, taking Salsa lessons (dancing) and a few others. I'm soooo busy w/ new friends and new hobbies I'm hardly home. Good luck. i am a very busy person but i get home for a few hours and it sucks some times I think we all get that way sometimes. At least I know I do. It passes though. I get that way too a lot of times. I tend to go out on the wknd....just so I don't have to be home alone. It's not to get smashed....but to meet new people. If you're feeling that you're doing it a wee bit too much...then you are....so try to limit yourself and say o.k. I'll go ____ x's/wk. instead of ___x's/wk. Maybe put an alternate acitivity inplace going on one night /wk. Ex. I try to scrapbook ( I know you're not prob. going to do that...but ....you get my idea????) I hope we're helping you.

misslibra66 Joined Sun 03/30/08 Posts: 12	Sun 04/20/08 07:54 PM
Yes, as a matter of fact, I read the entire thread before my posts-I'm sorry if my opinion is making someone defensive, that was not my intention. Let me reiterate, I am not a bar basher.And there's nothing wrong with going. I concur with the post about a hobby, I wish there were cows I could tip where I live! Who's getting defensive? I thought the whole thing was rather funny. Edit: I guess no matter what, some people have to make everything about themselves.

misslibra66 Joined Sun 03/30/08 Posts: 12	Sun 04/20/08 07:58 PM
I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to make it about myself. I was trying to help someone not fall into a cycle of going to bars as a coping mechanism for loneliness by using an example. Just like everyone else. I'm sorry if the advice wasn't appreciated. I shall now ceast and desist. Again, my apologies.

toreybelle Joined Sun 10/28/07 Posts: 2132	Sun 04/20/08 08:05 PM
I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to make it about myself. I was trying to help someone not fall into a cycle of going to bars as a coping mechanism for loneliness by using an example. Just like everyone else. I'm sorry if the advice wasn't appreciated. I shall now ceast and desist. Again, my apologies. I can see where she was coming from!!!!! Give her a break!!!!

smuflicker Joined Mon 08/06/07 Posts: 4019	Mon 04/21/08 01:39 AM
At least your getting laid pretty regular right? That's the up side to the bar scene. Just because someone is at the bar here and there dose not mean they are getting laid.

smuflicker Joined Mon 08/06/07 Posts: 4019	Mon 04/21/08 02:01 AM
I'm not a bar basher. I don't have a problem going to a bar. But when you feel compelled to go there every day for 15+ years(ex), then the bottom line is you need to get a life. My ex wanted to be a player, that's why he was there all the time. That's why he got a part time job there. He was obsessed with the place. He still is;he's probably there right now. And my ex said the same thing about his bar, that it was more like Cheers. Yeah, right-every body says that. Well maybe your ex is a smooth talker or something. I work part time at a bar as a bouncer. I have only done it sence i became single. while i was married i hardly ever went to the bar and my ex was always there. It is very rare that i have left with or gotten a number from a woman at the bar for sexual reasons. I talk to women at the bar but i don't look for anything. Yes i look sometimes and wish, i'm only human, but then i just forget it and go on.

Silntstrnger Joined Wed 12/12/07 Posts: 4265	Mon 04/21/08 02:08 AM
Go rent barfly. Nothing wrong with going to the bar to socialize. I used to do it all the time. ya but this like every 3rd day Well I have ya beat. I was out every night when I was single and pre kid. i'm not home that much really....i work away from home for 24 hrs and here maybe a few hours and then gone. the 2nd day i am here though. and i have my cat titan i thought u were dating someone?

smuflicker Joined Mon 08/06/07 Posts: 4019	Mon 04/21/08 02:15 AM
I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to make it about myself. I was trying to help someone not fall into a cycle of going to bars as a coping mechanism for loneliness by using an example. Just like everyone else. I'm sorry if the advice wasn't appreciated. I shall now ceast and desist. Again, my apologies. I can see where she was coming from!!!!! Give her a break!!!! Yea i can see where she is comeing from too. what i wrote above just pertains to me. There are a lot of people that go to the bar just to hook up and the drunks do tend to get on your nurves expetaily if your not drunk. I've seen it all, some people can get preaty stupid when they get drunk.

smuflicker Joined Mon 08/06/07 Posts: 4019	Mon 04/21/08 02:26 AM
the reason for this i just realized is cause i am at a point to where the loneliness is really starting to suck. i mainly go for the company now.... i am not in any way an alcoholic, i don't drink at home or drink on the nights where i have to work the next morning and i don't go out really to get a **** faced... i guess the loneliness is killing me This is the reason i started going to the bar myself is being lonely. Yes i have my kids in my life and that is dear to me but it is not the same. There is a void there, a lonelyness. I know i don't have to have someone there to be happy but it sure would be nice to have someone there. The thing is you go to the bar and socialize,play pool what ever you leave and go home to an empty bed and what seems to be an empty life,its just a temporary fix for the few that realy want a relationship. If i come across a lady that we both want to comit to each other i will walk away from the bar seen so fast they won't know what happened.

ChiefPUA Joined Mon 11/26/07 Posts: 1175	Mon 04/21/08 02:59 AM
pick up a nice gal at the bar and u wont be so lonely

toreybelle Joined Sun 10/28/07 Posts: 2132	Mon 04/21/08 04:08 AM
Yeah, that's exactly why I don't go to bars. People don't want to get to know you-they just want to get in your pants. I'm not that kind of a person. Ex boyfriend was though. Worked @ bar, hung out there, his life revolved around it. But he's a player, so there you go. That's why he's the "ex". I'd rather be home alone than around a bunch of people slurring their words, spilling liquor all over themselves, who don't know what day it is. I have higher standards and more respect for myself than that. There are plenty of places to meet folks-shopping @ Walmart, LOL!!(I say that cause that's where I work!)LMAO I go to bars every now and again.... but I go w/ a friend and go dancing. Yes I might be looking around to see if there's a "NICE GUY" but boy that's hard to find!!!!!! I'm not there to be taken home.... not into that one night thing....but I do enjoy people and I'm usually very cautious of how much I drink so as to stay in control.