Ellgee, as I read this it brought tears to my eyes. But... you can thank your ex for doing the right thing and taking her to the police station. He could have covered the whole thing up like so many do. That in it self is a hard thing to do for now the courts will look at the situation in a different way. There are so many that remarry and things of this nature happens. The parent ends up looking the other way.

Your still right don't drop it at all let the lawyer know make sure all the i's are dotted and the t's are crossed. Maybe this time they will not hold it against him for he did report it and that is hard for a partent to admit. That they failed to keep there child safe from harm. Either way at least he did step in and sure it was not a very pleasant scene at all.

Prayers to you and your daughter.

Just make sure she gets the counseling that she needs in the procress.

when the X hubs called to let me know he was on his way, he also informed me he's taking her to Salina for the weekend.

i informed my daughter, and she asked, to see Cassie? (the girl that did this to her)

i told her i hoped not, cuz this is the girl that hurt her, and left bruises on her, i told her that her dad will keep her safe, stay by dad.

when i went to pick my older 2 kids up from school, their father asked what i was doing with my daughter, i told him that the X hubs let me keep her for the day, but that he's taking her to salina for the weekend, where Cassie is. he then told me that he was under the impression Cassie was in jail.

i told him i'd ask to find out

when i did, the X hubs told me that Cassie is in Salina, he had kicked her out. he said it with that familiar angry look in his eye, so i walked over to him, and told him, im only looking out for my daughter, i think i have PLEANTY of reason to be looking out for her, don't you? he said yes, but he was looking out for her too. he told me that there was a restraining order that said she couldn't come within so many ft of our daughter, i told him i knew what one was, but that doesn't always stop someone that's full of anger.

when he turned to leave, my older 2 kids, and i gave my daughter kisses and hugs, told her we loved her, and i told him, by the way, you could have informed me about her bottom, he said he didn't know about it til Tuesday night, so i told him i wasn't aware til she went to the bathroom today.

i also asked him why she wasn't arrested, he said he didn't know, so i told him, maybe that's something to ask the police, and that's what im going to do



now, i've called to the police station, and the officer that's working the case isn't in til tomorrow morning. so, does anyone have ANY idea why she's not arrested? this is the girl that 'spanked' my 4 yr old daughter's bottom with a BELT! there are soo many bruises on her butt and hips, that you would think it hurts to sit down

sherrif just returned my phone call


according to the sherrif, the X hubs is going to Salina on a completely seperate issue..having nothing to do with Cassie.

he did not confirm or deny a restraining order on Cassie.

he did say, that HIS part in the case is compelete, he has his suspect (that he could not name) and he's finished his paper work and handed it to the assistant district attorny's office already.

he could not give me a reason why Cassie wasn't arrested, and could not give me her age.

i think Cassie is 17..

anyone have any idea what happens to 17 yr olds in this kind of case?

Hugs

Not sure but at 17 if she goes to court they could try her as a juvie or a adult... just depends on the attornys....

They usually get there a$$ kicked by someone who cares.

There seems to be something real fishy going on with this whole case.

Is there a chance, a small chance, they suspect you?

If not, and if they don't, there is no reason on earth they are keeping details of the investigation about your own daughter away from you. ON going investigation or not. That is bull crap.

You are the mother. You have half custody. You need to tell them you want to file charges on the person responsible, or the wife or the husband for neglect or whatever the case may be.

You should go on the offensive. Tell them you want to know what is going on and that you want to file charges.

If you are not a suspect, they should tell you anything you want to know. If they start questioning you, as a suspect, don't talk to them. Get a lawyer.

If all else fails, you might consider hiring a private investigator with clout.

JB
Ex-P.I.

there's no way i could be a suspect, the X hubs has already told the sherrif's dept that i hadn't spent any time with her unless it was at the school, and the teachers were always in the room with us. yes it was against his wishes, altho there's no legal reason for him to keep me from her, and he's told the sherrif's dept that also

the sherrif told me that he's already gotten his suspect, and the paper work is on the county attny's desk

i've told them i was charges pressed, and a restraining order, and i want a temp custody order..

in order to do the temp custody order, i need the lawyer to do that, the restraining order is already in place, and the police are already pressing charges

i've already posted this, in the above post, please read it all

thank you all for your concern, your prayers, and your well wishes

Ellgee.... I commend you on your clarity, sanity, and patience in explaining all of this. You seem like a level headed woman and I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. It makes me sort of sad to read that people are questioning you, just because you are realistic and handling this so maturely and adult-ish. I totally understand, and commend you for it.

You go, GF!!

lilith, thank you, your encouragement means alot to me, and at this point, i'll take all i can get..

again, thank you


im gonna keep THIS post updated, when they come in, so check back HERE for them people, again, thank you

we had court Wednesday, myself, the X hubs, Karen (his gf, not wife) her son Lance, and her daughter Cassie, and Cassie's daughter Erica, SRS workers, Dist. Attny, and my daugher's Guardian ad litem, were all there

the Jjdge asked us if we wanted lawyers, we all said yes, soo,
everything's been continued, cuz Cassie and i both got court appointed lawyers, i called most all the lawyers in the phone book, and no one could make the court date, which of course was only 2 days notice...

however, SRS lady (Mindy) told me and the X hubs that Cassiie is not allowed at the house, at all, under ANY circumstances or our daughter will be removed from the home. she's not allowed to see her own daughter, unless it's supervised and away from the house.

our daugher is in SRS custody, in placement of her father, Erica (Cassie's daughter) is in SRS custody also, in placement of the maternal grandmother (Karen) so also at Scott's house.

i talked to our daughter's guardian ad litem, and told him that i want her in one on one counseling, that way she can address ANY issue she's having without fear of upsetting myself or her dad. told him why i wanted it, cuz Monday she was 'writing a letter to Karen" on the laptop, 12 lines of nothing but caps...her letter she said told karen to get out of her dad's house, that she's not her mom, and that she wanted her to never come back...

i explained to him that i'd asked her to try writing Cassie a letter too, to let Cassie know how she feels, and she said she didn't like Cassie and didn't want to write her a letter. he agreed it would be a good idea to get her some one on one counseling...

other than that, nothing's happened with the courts.

since this has happened to my daughter, her father as lied at least 4 times, (that i've found out about) in the past week. he's not married, like he told everyone he was, this happeened to her that Monday, not Tuesday like he told me, he said it was none of my buisness, when it is, he told me he went to feed cows, when he was actually in Hays, he also told the dr's that Karen and Cassie were in the house when it happeend, but then changed the story to 'they were in hays"

i found out today, that my mother called him last Sunday, to ask if she could have my daughter this weekend, he of course told her HIS side of the story, and told her he wasn't sure if he could get away from the farm, so, he'd call her Thursday and let her know.

she called him back, Thursday afternoon, then again Thursday night, then again this morning, and no answer, she called her hubs, John, and asked him to call him, and magically he 'heard' his phone that time, so John told him (the X hubs) what my mom wanted to tell him herself, and the X hubs told John, to tell my mother that i was going to have Raina all weekend, so he wouldn't be able to meet her like planned. SOOO, my mom is comin down this weekend, to see us (yay me) and we'll see if i get my daughter this weekend.

hopefully, i'll have something a little brighter to talk about soon. Keep praying please

Hugs ((( el )))))

Love & Light,,

awe- <<hugs>>
you and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers

just got off the phone with my daughter's guardian ad litem

i asked him if there was a reason Cassie wasn't arrested. he refered me to the dist. court's office. i'll be calling him shortly

i asked him if Cassie was being charged with Child abuse..he informed me that she's looking not at criminal charges, but felony charges, i asked him exactly what that implied, he said that she'll get a prison sentence, not just jail time


prayers are working, keep 'em up, and thanx

Prayers to you and your daughter.

ellgee U are continually in my thoughts and prayers!!!!

If I were in your shoes, I'd get my lawyer involved and if the situation doesn't change, cps, but only as a last resort. As you're not working, you wouldn't really be able to take care of yourself and her and to involve CPS could place your daughter in even greater danger, living with someone who isn't family. As for priorities, I'm thinking your first priority is to get a job and use this situation as a motivation to keep it.

had you read all this, like i asked, you'd know, that CPS aka SRS is already involved, the police called them. my lawyer is involved, i called him. exactly how is your CPS going to place my daughter with anyone besides myself? cuz i don't have a job? cuz i do have one. i suggest try reading this again, all the way thru, maybe then you'll get the full picture of what is going on with my daughter.

thank you

First, I read your first letter all the way through, knowing there was more to the story than just one side, and thought through it based on what you wrote. Secondly, they aren't my cps, they are cps. Third, your original post did not reference you having a job, and as a matter of fact, per your own writing...

"My X hubs has been refusing to let me see her, due to my not being employed right now. This is not a condition in our custody/visitation orders. he's in the wrong by not allowing me to see her, and he knows this, therefore, i told the officer about his.
"
Nothing in your original posting, suggested you had a job. Further, and keep in mind that I know nothing about you other than what you wrote yourself, I note a trip to a bar that was interupted by noticing familiar vehicles at the police station. Fortunately for me, even after living in BelleFontaine for 7 months, I have no idea where our police station is. It seems most convienient to place a police station in close proximity to a bar, so that at minimum, if someone were to drink a bit too much, they wouldn't have to call a cab to get their car after waking up from from their slumber in a holding cell. Anyway, I digress and will get back to this job thing. Assuming that your child was in fact in trouble, and thinking for the best possible outcome for your child, I thought that if you didn't have a job your child would be at risk of being put in a temporary foster home until such time as you had one or could otherwise prove yourself capable of taking care of her.

Back to the bar thing. If I had a child I was responsible for, my priority wouldn't be to go to a bar, but rather find ways to participate in raising the child, such as getting a job and helping to provide for the child. Admittedly, you've done quite a bit better than I have in the child breeding department. My only consolation to date has been to help with some families who could do little more than that, but you still have an opportunity to do quite a bit more.

I also noticed in later letters that you and your daughter now have court appointed lawyers? While I see that getting a court appointed lawyer is a smart thing to do, it also suggests that there is a financial strain somewhere that you couldn't afford to hire one. If your ex has a private lawyer, your battle will be uphill, unless there is stellar testimony from your daughter, which I don't see happening, as the ex wasn't the source of abuse, from what I've read. Per your own writing, he is the one with custody, not you, which is a very unusual situation.

Finally, there's the refusal to cooperate on the part of the police and the requirement to use a lawyer to obtain information. Usually, when there is this low of a level of cooperation, it is because some form of restraining order is in place. Under any other circumstance, you would normally have the right to know any time the police are involved with your child, unless there's one of a million new laws I don't know about. Politics, an entirely seperate and dangerous topic, and yet, I digress again.

Your child is in my prayers.

first of all, what YOU call CPS is what folks around here call, SRS..maybe you missed that point?

as for a job? yes, i have one, what's funny about this, is that according to my X hubs, i don't have a place to live, or anywhere to store my things (my couches n' such) - however, he had quite a rude awakening this weekend when he walked into my apt, without knocking and not only saw that i have things, but that i have a place for them also...still yes, i do have a job, AND im taking medical transcription classes, to better myself altho with this issue, i don't see how that is important

now, as for my X hubs not allowing me to see her - if he wants our custody changed, or altered, HE has to take it to the correct avenues, which means, he has to get it to go thru the courts. he's not allowed to alter them himself..period.

as you say, you know nothing about me, so i'll explain with a little more detail: my friend asked if i'd go with her to have A DRINK at the bar (she was buying cuz she knew, i wouldn't have ANY money to spend til Monday, when i start this new job) this is the ONLY bar in town (on the edge of town), and yes, it was ONE drink - at Main street, we have to turn left, on the corner, is the police station. it's not difficult to notice, it's seriously in the middle of town, on the Court House lawn, been there for over 50 yrs, and i've been in this town for 15 (keep in mind, this town consists of maybe 2,000 people) and almost everyone knows everyone, sometimes, when we try to tell someone else where our friend lives, we actually say "remember where so & so used to live?" and then they know exactly..lol

i have a SERIOUS problem with how you imply that my going to a bar was somehow a PRIORITY. there is NO child support for my daughter, due to both of us having SHARED custody, do not question my priorities again please, cuz that is rude especially as you've said before, you don't know me.... when i have my daughter, it is ME that provides for her, no one else. besides, after 7:30 pm, she's in her father's care, not mine, i was doing all i was allowed to do by him at that time, as he has 'residential custody' which means only that her mailing address is at his residence, not mine, and he wasn't allowing me to see her.

i hope this clears up any confusion for you

Now, regardless of if im employed or not, my finances are none of my X hubs' buisness, he gave up ANY rights to that information when we got our divorce. SRS and the police station were informed of my finances when they asked, again, cuz it's none of HIS buisness, after this infomation was given, i was asured that IF necessary, she'll come to MY care before she's put in a foster home, because i have joint and shared custody

Now, about these lawyers. there was no lawyer capable of making a court date, which was only sceduled 2 days away, therefore, while my X hubs has a lawyer on hand, that lawyer also could not make the court date, so everyone got court appointed lawyers. my daughter, who again happens to be 4 yrs old, has a guardian ad litem, which in basic terms, is a lawyer who has her best interest in mind, legally.

now, SRS, and the police both have interviewed my daughter, and got names, places, and the actual incident on paper. also, this girl Cassie, waived her right to a lawyer, gave her statement, admitting to 'spanking her with a sparkly belt over and over again" ...i'd say that's some pretty 'stellular testimony' right there.

per my own writings (as you like to refer to) i have also stated, that we BOTH have custody, it's called SHARED custody and JOINT custody, i have equal rights and visitation as he does, i have her half the time, he has her the other half, until that gets changed IN COURT.

with him having residential custody, he seems to think he has a say as to when i see my daughter, however wrong he is in his way of thinking, that's how he ses it, therefore, he was keeping her from me. no restraining order, just him being his normal "charming" self, that charm, is one of the reasons that got us divorced in the first place.

now, the police AND the SRS have both given me the information i wanted to know, they needed to see our divorce papers first, in order to see that i have shared and joint custody, and he has no say in that, until he takes it back to court, which of course, he has no leg to stand on as of right now, and he is having a hard time chewing on that.

since this has happened to my daughter, i have had her every day after she gets out of school, AND, over the weekend, the whole weekend, til tonight, when he picks her up... i'll have her all next week also, due to him knowing he's put her in danger, by allowing these people in his house with her...

now, if there was a restraining order, how could i be allowed to have her? again, there is NO restraining order, he was only trying to throw his weight around, trying to show himself with an 'upper hand' that is still, nonexistant.

with your next post, please don't try to imply anything negative about me personally, or as a parent, as i wouldn't do anything like that to another parent myself, thank you



keep the prayers comin, they're working folks

so, i did have her all weekend, still have her actually.

he tried to use ME as an excuse to not allow my mother to see her, i wasn't expected to have my daughter at all after friday night... that fell thru when she came down.

once my mother left yesterday, she called him to tell him that she was leaving, incase he was going to pick up our daughter, (showing that the only reason i had her, was cuz my mother was in town)

the X hubs arrived at 5pm to pick her up, and walked right in, again, without knocking. i told him there was no nice way to say it, so i was just going to say it and hope he took it the right way, he asked what, so i told him i have serious issues with him just walking into my house, i pay the bills, and he can knock and then wait for someone to answer the door....just like he would anyone else's house in which he doesn't live... he said ok, and stepped back outside the door..our daughter then asked if she could stay again, he of course said no, i asked him if there was a reason for her to not stay, he then sighed as if annoyed, and said no, so i told him that it was perfectly fine for her to stay again. i also told him that we should plan weekends and to not use ME as an excuse to not allow my mother see her.

he went downstairs, and proceeded to tell the neighbors how he's going to call his lawyer on Monday, and see what he can get done about this visitation stuff. what's funny about that, is that he explainted to my mother, that after arguing with his lawyer on Thursday, the X hubs called him 'everything but a white man' and the lawyer hung up on him. (im not sure, but i think he's gonna have to get a new lawyer now lol)

so, we'll see how that goes lol


life itself is ironic, how things work out. Cassie's court appointed lawyer, is the same man that was our daughters Guardian ad litem during our divorce...lol

i wonder if that is a conflict of interest? lol