You're being played. Someone is telling you the wrong thing in hopes of something going away quietly.

I don't care what bass-ackward hick town someone lives in, there are specific regulations that local courts MUST follow in regards to any divorce decree and petitions filed WITH the court. He cannot assume custody if you truly have a "joint custody" arraingement.

One does not go to counseling and assume custody. That's not how the real world works. Until you contact a (decent) attorney, you will continue to be pushed around by whatever the cops want to tell you and the miserable SOB you call an ex-husband.

Sorry babes. I wish I was closer, I'd be able to do more. I contacted my attorney (Florida bar) and he doesn't have an associates or contacts in the state of Kansas. He basically told me the same thing, until you get someone who knows what they're doing, and is willing to WORK for you at it, you're at the mercy of whomever is telling you what they're telling you.

I can't believe with a investigation that Dept. of Social services hasn't removed her from the house.... out of the cituation..... until they investigate it. What if it happens again?

I pray that it all works out... poor little girl, and you are beside yourself....

Last night, around 9:30pm, a friend of mine invited me to go for a drink at the local bar in town. On our way there, i saw my ex- husband's 2 vehicles parked at the police station. i called him, left a message on his phone asking about our daughter, if she was ok.

X hubs called back within minutes, i asked him if everything was ok with our daughter, cuz i saw his 2 vehicles at the police station, and saw his wife's daughter go inside with her baby, along with his wife's son. The man told me it was none of my buisness, and hung up on me. (if the vehicles were there, having something to do with his new wife, or her children, i agree, it IS none of my buisness, and im ok with that)

my main concern at this point, is the welfar of my daughter, last week there was a bruise on her cheek, she 'claimed' was a dog bite. i was unaware of a dog at her house. she said it was Joe's dog, (my X hub's wife's son) however, it didn't apear to be a dog bite, no teeth marks, and the pressure point appeared to be in the center of the bruise, not the outside edges. the school documented it, thinking it wasn't a dog bite either, they have told me they suspect abuse.

i didn't get any yes or no answer from him tho, so i phoned the police station myself, asking if my daughter was there. i gave the dispatcher (Connie) her description, (my daughter is 4 yrs old) and Connie said that she hadn't seen her, if she did, she'd have an officer return my phone call.

so, on to the local bar to have our drink. while there, i was getting a nervous feeling, one i couldn't shake. i kept an eye on the door, outside on the road, for the X hub's 2 vehicles. after an hour, i still hadn't seen them go by.

I called the police station yet again, and asked if my daughter was there. Connie told me yes, and asked me to hold on, she'd let me talk to an officer.

the officer (Todd) got on the phone, and told me that there wasn't a need to be alarmed, however, an official investigation will be started. he said that the story was, that my daughter had been 'spanked' and that there was bruising that was unaccounted for. they did take pictures and SRS (child services) will be called.

i asked if i could go there, to see her, to hold her, and make sure physically that she was ok, to know in my heart that she was ok. the officer said yes, and asked if there was a custody dispute.

My X hubs has been refusing to let me see her, due to my not being employed right now. This is not a condition in our custody/visitation orders. he's in the wrong by not allowing me to see her, and he knows this, therefore, i told the officer about his.

the officer told me not go come to the police station yet. he said he wanted to talk to my X hubs, and then he'd call me back

i stayed put and waited, and drank a soda incase i had to drive.

the officer called back, said i could see her, but had to remain calm, no arguing with the X hubs. i told him i didn't care to see the X hubs, i just wanted to hold my daughter, and he said that was fine, tho he'd have to be in the room with me, i told the officer i had no problem with that.

i went to the police station, walked into the room, and there was my daughter. seemed at first glance unharmed, perfectly fine. i hugged her, she told me she'd missed me, and then sat her on my lap and we 'chatted' as much as a 4 yr old could 'chat'.

her hair was in her eyes, so i moved it away with my hands, and that's when i noticed, she has a bruise by her right eye brow, pointing towards her forehead, a bruise above her left eye, closer to her hairline. both were a bit swollen. so i kissed 'em both, and told her i loved her. she showed me all her owies then. 2 small ones on her left arm, looked like rug burns (i wasn't conserned about them) but kissed them anyways.

i noticed she had to spots on her chin, so i asked her what was on her chin, after looking closer, i noticed they were scabs. she claimed they were both food on her chin from dinner, and started to pick at them. i told her it wasn't food, and then she told me that she fell outside in the drive, and bumped her chin on the gravel that was out there. (this story is reasonable, she's kinda clutsy at 4) she continued to pick at them, i told her to stop, cuz they'll bleed and then yukky blood will get all over her pretty jammies. and then i kissed them too.

we sat there, talking, she sang some of her songs from school to me, Baby Baloogah, and the song her father made up for her, then the song i made up for her. she smiled, hugged me, and kissed me on the cheek and told me she loved me.

i asked her if she'd been working on her winking, she told me yes, and showed me, it was cute, we laughed. then i told her, why not show the officer how she winks, she played shy, and then winked at him too.

i asked her if she was sleepy, of course she'd told me no, and i explained that it was way past bed time, i took my watch off, showed it to her, and asked her what it said. she replied that is said one, two, zero, one...12:01am

i explained to her that bedtime was 4 hrs ago, and that she should be really really tired by now. so i just held her and rocked her.

a few minutes went by, and she hopped off my lap. i asked her where my luvins were, and she hugged me. i had my arms around her little waist, and hugged her back. that's when she said "ouch mommy" i asked her what i did, i was only hugging her. she took her jacket off, and showed me her lower back, it was red (i had already been at the police station for an hr, and her back was still red, it will turn into a bruise, and it will be big).

i told her i was sorry for hurting her, and i hugged her again, only this time with my hands higher on her back towards her shoulders. i looked at the officer, and he nodded and said yes, pictures were taken.

i noticed then that my daughter was wearing a pullup. i asked her why she was in one (i haven't put a pullup on her in over a yr, even at night) she looked down, and told me that she had wet the bed. i asked her why, she said she didn't know, so i asked if she was just too tired to get up to go potty, she said yes.

after 'chatting' and laughing with my daughter, another officer came in and said it was time to go. so i told my daughter, when you see daddy, tell him it's way past bed time and give him a hug. she said ok. i helped her put her coat on, and she had to zip it herself.

i also told her, that if she goes straight to sleep, she MIGHT be able to wake up in time for school in the morning, but if she didn't make it to school, then it would be ok, cuz she was up so late. i told her that her 'school family' missed her also (she hasn't been in school this week yet)

i told her if she DID go to school in the morning, that i'd see her at the school, for a few minutes before dad picked her up. she said ok, and kissed me good night.

an officer led her out of the room, and i asked him what the story was, he told me that he couldn't tell me, due to it being an 'ongoing investigation' i told him that im her mother, i have joint custody, and can prove it with my divorce papers that were in my car. he said that didn't matter. i told him i have a need to place blame, and i don't want to. i just need to know that she's ok.

i asked him if she could come home with me, he told me that it would be best for her psychologically if she'd go home with her dad, and keep as much 'normalcy' as possible. i said i understood that, but asked, what happens if she's in danger out there at his house?

that's when he said that they had to do a 'home' something something...a technical term.. basically that they had to follow the X hubs to his place, check it out, and make sure she was ok being there.

i gave them the number where i could be reached (im house siting right now for a friend) and then left.



now, my question, other than getting my lawyer informed, and subpoena-ing the police report...what is my next move? what can i legally do, cuz sitting and waiting, knowing he's not informing me of anything, is killing me.

i apreciate everyone that took the time to read all this
i know it was long.

any advice is apreciated...please, no joking about this

Directly talk too child services and express your concern, as far as getting the police report the officer was right if it is an "on-going investigation" they probably won't be able to let you see it regardless of a lawyer intervening. Talk to an attorney about working some kind of custody deal, and if your not able to take custody (due to not working) see if a grandparent or another guardian would be able too. Check up with the situation as much as possible (not daily but do a call in about once a week), the problem with a situation involving a child so young is that they may not be apt to telling the entire story much less the truth. Definatly get ahold of an attorney and child services.

If you are the least bit concerned about your child's welfare...immediately get protective services involved and stay the hell out of the bars yourself!!!
I am sorry if I am sounding a bit self-righteous here, but when you have children, it is no longer about your life. It is all about the children...and you chose to have them. Do the right thing DAMMMIT!

More prayers for you and your baby girl! I ahve read all of this and you are doing what is right for you and her so keep going!