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Topic: I'm thinking I'm meant to be alone...
starre_74's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:10 PM
I'm just kind of sounding off - won't blame anyone if they don't comment lol

Ok, I've been married twice. I'm going through the second divorce as we speak. My first husband was massively abusive. So abusive that he put me into intensive care for three days. He did some damage, knocked out some teeth, gave me whiplash and tilted my pelvic bone, and that's just the physical and lasting damage. My entire body was a big bruise, so yes I divorced him.

Then I found another loser, he was an alcholic who thought about nothing else but his beer. Two and a half years later, here we are going through a divorce.

Have I gotten the teeth fixed yet? No, it's expensive when you have no insurance, my job doesn't offer it number one. 2nd, when you are raising two kids alone, their needs simply come first. My first husband was supposed to pay for it, but shortly after he got out of prison - yes, I put him there - he died in a car accident, drinking and driving no less.

So, it's hard to meet people. I don't hide the fact that I am missing two front teeth. I explain it to everyone I'm going to meet, what kind of surprise would that be if I didn't. They ALL claim that it doesn't bother them. I have an appointment to get the damage fixed in June, but that's then.

I've met quite a few, but it never goes anywhere. One guy recently just decided not to show up, not once, but twice. First, he said his van broke down. Then last night, he didn't say a word, just ignored me and didn't show up.

I'm not beautiful by anymeans anymore. I mean I look ok, as long as I don't open my mouth. BUT that will and is in the process of being fixed like I said, starting in June.

You know, I keep thinking if I can find just one guy who can deal with this now, they will be the happiest man alive. This is nothing but a cosmetic thing and is getting fixed. Once fixed, I will once again be back to being pretty or at least better looking. But, the one man who can stick with me and really stand by my side, is the one that gets to reap the rewards when its all said and done.

The problem, no man is willing to do that. I have a heart of gold, I'm probably the nicest person you will ever meet and I will do anything for anyone. I'm fun, exciting, sexual, etc.

Yet, I still feel like I am destined to be alone. Destined for heart ache after heart ache, loser after loser. I was just thinking yesterday, I don't know when the last time was that I was REALLY, TRULY happy, or smiled because I wanted to smile, instead of having to.


Thanks for listening to me sound off!

ramie2983's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:11 PM
Welcome to singles club !!!! loldrinker drinker drinker

itsmetina's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:11 PM
cheer up darling have a drinklaugh

chachacha's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:12 PM
beauty comes from within i dont care what people say . . . love yourself and someone will be able to love you.

lilith401's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:13 PM
This might seem silly... but if you believe your teeth are a barrier, why not just wait until June to date?

I agree if men are not dating you because of your teeth that might be shallow on their parts, but it might just be their preference.

I am sorry your ex did that to you, by the way, & glad you moved on.

starre_74's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:15 PM

beauty comes from within i dont care what people say . . . love yourself and someone will be able to love you.


Yes, I know, sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. I hate the mirror, it's an enemy.

And yes, they are shallow, because you show me one person who is perfect! One person who does not have some flaw? You won't find one.

Winx's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:15 PM
You have had a difficult time. This difficult time has made you more wise about life than some.

You are a very pretty lady. The dental situation is temporary.
Don't sell yourself so short.

That last guy was rude. It's better to find out early.

Good luck with your quest.flowerforyou

MsTeddyBear2u's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:16 PM
Edited by MsTeddyBear2u on Sun 04/06/08 01:17 PM
Stop trying so hard and love yourself first.
Take a look at the past and don't move too quick into the future. Its better to take the time and find some one down
the road- that is a good guy. Rather than rush into something
in the near future and find you have accepted the wrong kind of man again. Get picky about what you are looking for and do
not settle for anything less because you are lonely.

Good luck to you! flowerforyou

p.s. you are pretty I would'nt worry too much about that!

starre_74's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:18 PM
Well, I never really think that I settle. But, I guess I find out too late. I"m never one to rush, I'm not looking for marriage, heck no, likely never again.

But, I am looking for a friend, someone to hang out with, someone to talk to. There is only so much you can say to teenagers lol, my kids.

I don't have a lot of friends anymore because they've moved away, so you know.

SweetButSpoiled's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:18 PM
Oh how I feel for you. Mainly because reading your story was like reading something I have written. I am literally in the same boat. My ex did the same thing as your first husband. I was pregnat, he was high, I didn't feel like fighting after working 12 hours in a mall 2 days after Christmas. So he made me listen with his fist. I too spent time in the hospital making sure that I was ok and my unborn daughter as well. I face the same things you do and honestly don't know why I try. At least you are fortunate enough to be financially able to fix the cosmetic damage. I am yet to be at that point. But, being the hopeless romantic that I am, I have to believe that one day you will find the happiness you deserve. Beauty is not on the outside, but inside where it is much warmer and true. Keep your chin up and keep us posted on your journey.

no photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:20 PM
I'm sorry you had to experience all that. However... you did survive it.. The first one didn't.. and the second one's chances are slim, so long as he keeps doing what he is doing.



Yet, I still feel like I am destined to be alone.


I'm not meaning to deminish the value of your experiences thus far. I would, however, be remiss if I did not say this.

Here is some food for thought.
So long as you feel that way? Chances are.. you will be that way. So long as you feel that way? You are giving these men power in your life that they do not deserve... Dead or alive...

You can make the choice to change your outlook.

starre_74's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:21 PM

Oh how I feel for you. Mainly because reading your story was like reading something I have written. I am literally in the same boat. My ex did the same thing as your first husband. I was pregnat, he was high, I didn't feel like fighting after working 12 hours in a mall 2 days after Christmas. So he made me listen with his fist. I too spent time in the hospital making sure that I was ok and my unborn daughter as well. I face the same things you do and honestly don't know why I try. At least you are fortunate enough to be financially able to fix the cosmetic damage. I am yet to be at that point. But, being the hopeless romantic that I am, I have to believe that one day you will find the happiness you deserve. Beauty is not on the outside, but inside where it is much warmer and true. Keep your chin up and keep us posted on your journey.


I am sorry for you also. Keep your head and chin up, abuse is never easy to get through or over, but we are living proof that you can. Good for us!

I'm not financially able, I'm going to do it on a payment plan. It's going to be expensive, but it's going to be worth it! Huggss

starre_74's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:22 PM

I'm sorry you had to experience all that. However... you did survive it.. The first one didn't.. and the second one's chances are slim, so long as he keeps doing what he is doing.



Yet, I still feel like I am destined to be alone.


I'm not meaning to deminish the value of your experiences thus far. I would, however, be remiss if I did not say this.

Here is some food for thought.
So long as you feel that way? Chances are.. you will be that way. So long as you feel that way? You are giving these men power in your life that they do not deserve... Dead or alive...

You can make the choice to change your outlook.


I never looked at it that way, you're right, they have more power than they need over my life.

Winx's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:23 PM
Edited by Winx on Sun 04/06/08 01:24 PM
Maybe a college with dental students could be of use to you.

Also, have you have thought about going to Al-anon?

elifn52's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:23 PM
flowerforyou IF ANYONE DESERVES A BREAK, IT`S YOU!!!

GOOD LUCK:smile:

SweetButSpoiled's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:23 PM


Oh how I feel for you. Mainly because reading your story was like reading something I have written. I am literally in the same boat. My ex did the same thing as your first husband. I was pregnat, he was high, I didn't feel like fighting after working 12 hours in a mall 2 days after Christmas. So he made me listen with his fist. I too spent time in the hospital making sure that I was ok and my unborn daughter as well. I face the same things you do and honestly don't know why I try. At least you are fortunate enough to be financially able to fix the cosmetic damage. I am yet to be at that point. But, being the hopeless romantic that I am, I have to believe that one day you will find the happiness you deserve. Beauty is not on the outside, but inside where it is much warmer and true. Keep your chin up and keep us posted on your journey.


I am sorry for you also. Keep your head and chin up, abuse is never easy to get through or over, but we are living proof that you can. Good for us!

I'm not financially able, I'm going to do it on a payment plan. It's going to be expensive, but it's going to be worth it! Huggss


You bet it will be worth it! I can't wait to see pics. What would be even better is the look on the loser's face that stood you up when you are with someone who thinks the world of you like you deserve.

no photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:24 PM
make the change, i did...........i was in a relationship over 2 years ago, and all i got was heartache.........that's why i said earlier that unconditional love don't cut it...........i am not insecure, but was then...........very happy with me right now....you can do it also..........things only get worse babe.............flowerforyou flowerforyou

PATSFAN's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:25 PM
Hang in there flowerforyou

Benzy940's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:29 PM


Hi Starre,

And believe u r just that a brightly shining star who may have temporarily lost her shine, I say that because ur shine is returning u r making positive steps in the right direction.

Get through the divorce all the while learning a little more about your preferences in your selection of a partner, there are alwasy signs but what u have to be awre of is when and at what point u overlook these signs.

Knowing how to spot the same type of mates will help u in the future. Take some time and focus on getting healthy mentally, emotionally and physically, apply all of your energy to that and most of all love the hell out of your children, and everything will fall into place keep God at the forefront and you will get the strength you need and the relationship you so deserve.

Congrats for taking such deep steps and for sharing your story.

Much Luck....:wink: :wink: :wink: :smile:

Benzy

Snoman1951's photo
Sun 04/06/08 01:33 PM
hate hearing stories like this..makes me not proud to be a man

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