I am a female in my 4th year of college. My boyfriend and I went to high school together, but just started getting to know each other and dating a few months ago. Recently he confessed to me that he had a crush on one of my best friends way back in 9th grade of high school, before we even knew each other. They never dated and she had already told me about it, so I didn't think much of it- it was years ago. But then he told me that right before we got together, he still liked her and was thinking about trying to date her. He never went through with it because she had a boyfriend, and then the two of us started dating. I asked him how he feels about her now that we are together and he wouldn't answer. He said that the answer doesn't matter cause it has nothing to do with our relationship. But I think it does.

I can't help but think that he would prefer to be with her over me. The 3 of us hang out together a lot, but now that I know this, I think its going to be really awkward and hard for me when we are together.

How should I react? Does it really matter? Should I let this one go?

please help.. .

thanks everyone. I just think it sucks that he's obviously over everything and has moved on, yet, he's still always on my mind and I find myself sulking alone while he's out enjoying his new life.

How soon is too soon to move on from a serious relationship? Does dating again help ease the pain?

very good point

This is surely true, I know that everyone is beautiful in their own way. From what you are saying I can make the inference that If I, particularly, am not physically attracted, then I may not be the one they are meant for? Is this correct?

How important is a physical attraction in a relationship?

If you meet someone who is perfect in every other aspect (personality, chemistry, etc.), but you aren't attracted to them physically, would you still want to get involved? Would turning them down be shallow?

Think about all aspects here. (ie. Would really want to kiss or have sex with this person? Would you want kids who resembled them? What would your friends say?)

~jAs.

Leave it alone. You really don't want to get involved in that situation, it will make things bad between all 3 of you and definitely destroy your relationship with your friend. Trust me I know.

they would have to carry themselves well and have an amazing personality. Everything else would have to be 100%. Then I could grow to be attracted to them physically.