This makes sense, except I'm not good at making friends.

I guess what I've been told before, and its probably true..that I've put up such a tall and thick wall around me. And people notice that. And I'm stuck between wanting to tear it down, and stay inside in the safety.

But yes. It does help to talk about it.

I'm more interested in how the person is here and now. That said, past behavior is usually indicative of future behavior but as you point out people do grow out of certain behaviors.

But as you point out, it is unfair to compare people to cars. People are alot more complicated than cars and I find cars too complicated.

I guess I'm just not doing a good job expressing my view.

Probably not but the point being if a person goes through numerous relationships in a short time, you can't help but wonder why. Does it mean that person is not long-term relationship material? Not necessarily. Maybe they haven't found the right person.

Or maybe they do like to play the field. There's other things about the person that would be even more important to know. How do they view people in general?

repose

Not a big change person. At least in my personal life. If things are decorated a certain way, I'll probably want it to stay that way.

The passage of time itself is intriguing. One generation ages and a younger generation takes its place. Knowing that happens is one thing. Seeing it happen sombers you a bit.

As I indicated above, I did stop trying after summer and developed a cynical view of the entire process believing I failed.

However I do appreciate the comments above, perspectives I hadn't really considered before.

OK here's a few more..

I'm 35 but I do the "I remember the old days when we did this" as if I were 75.
I prefer Apple over WIndows.
As the two above said.. I despise the doing dishes. I did them during 10 years of marriage because ex wife refused to even split that job.
I am very uncomfortable around large groups of people.

Not all of them. Maybe just 1 or 2 that seem completely absurd. And I take hints, if you don't like that overanalyzing..I won't do it....unless I'm in the "I feel like annoying the hell out of you" mood.

:)

If they made Back to the Future today, Marty would go back to 1980.

I was alive in 1980. 1st grade..yes, but alive.

I hate the cold, so the tree is gonna have to go.

Good. If you don't mind I'd also like your opinion on a recent thread I started in this section. Maybe a second opinion. I liked the first, and thought it had alot of merit, but I'm always interested in additional comments.

Please? :)

Well, I can't disagree with the notion you're more likely to want to meet up with someone who you've seen posting on a forum for weeks as opposed to a 'hi, how are you doing' email out of the blue.

I will try this tact.

I'm all for people speaking their mind. By all means I'd rather have the truth than some baked up false crap spewed simply to make me feel better.

But I think its also how you speak your mind. Do you talk down to the person? How is the tone? Is it from the tone of a friend who cares? Or a parent or other authority figure?

Big difference in the two.

I tend to analyze things to death...I can be very cynical.

However, I'll take issue..I won't say "why are women like this". If 500 women act a certain negative way towards me..the real question would be "what am I doing wrong".

Of course people don't like to look within themselves.

I spent alot of time last spring and summer trying to date (and I say try because out of at least 500 contacts with women online..even with a paying subscription elsewhere..all I had to show for it was 1 date. Otherwise I was ignored). So I developed a cynical attitude and figured whats the point.

I was divorced in 2008, and granted it takes time to get over that kind of mess, but I'd like to think I've long been ready to move on.

Now I still feel alone. I'd like to share myself with another, I'm well aware there are many women who feel the same way and logically there should be no reason why this is next to impossible.

I mean, even putting aside a long term relationship...just having a good friend who is there..I feel like there is this mile high wall between this goal.

Yes, I realize this sounds cynical. It is and I know its not helpful, but I can't be phony and be all happy with what feels like complete failure.

Maybe it is simply not my time yet for a meaningful relationship and I must wait longer. That is possible.

I guess..I know what I'm looking for. Logic tells me there is someone who is looking for someone like me..somewhere. There are millions of single women looking for their own match. Obviously I have to fit someones idea. At least close enough.

So..help me find some answers here. As I said ..last summer I tried contacting hundreds..and all I got was ::crickets::. Yet I know people meet on these sites.

I find understanding the US Tax Code easier than understanding why people do the things they do.

The number of dates I've had in my life has been on one hand

Many times I worry about saying the wrong thing so I usually end up saying nothing.

I've never experienced that where someone said to me "I'm different from the other girls", and I never gave that line to someone either.

I honestly don't see the point of telling someone "I'm different than the people before you". We're all different from each other in usually subtle ways, but sometimes big ones too.., and the only way I'm gonna prove that I'm different in the important ways is by acting upon it.