Adverse childhood experiences...
...results in adult health and behavioral problems.

Those experiencing more adverse childhood experience and general feelings of "not loved" are more likely to engage in illicit sex(incl but not limited to prostitution, pornography, sex abuse), engage in drugs, more health, mental, and behavioral issues as adults

Alcohol, tobacco, drugs, gadget use, body image (and eating disorder) and gender confusion issues, engaging in risky behavior (incl but not limited to violent/criminal/bullying activity, promiscuous sexual activity) can be used as a form of self medication to compensate, feel good or as escapism from internal conflict. With lack of proper intervention, and in an environment that accepts or encourages such behavior as normal, this causes permanent neural connections that solidifies such behavior as adults that can be passed down thru the generations as part of epigenetic theory of heredity.

Edited to add:
Arousal or excitement felt in many cases is termed traumatic sexualization and is an inappropriate development of the child as part of identifying with the perpetrator. This causes a subset to become eventual perpetrators themselves.

There is a misinterpretation of risky behavior as a form of enjoyment.

Executive function does not work in correlation with controlling impulse and assessing risk and consequence.

This puts the child, adolescent, or teen in a position to be manipulated, brainwashed or guilt-tripped into compromising themselves.

Let's talk about stress...

How do you view stress?

There are different types of stresses...

1.positive stress - builds character

2.tolerable stress - time limited. Adaptable to either nurturing or damaging influences

3.Toxic stress - strong frequent prolonged exposure to adversity without support

What is your stress response and how has this affected you?

How do you assist others experiencing stressful experiences and damaged by harmful stresses? Young and old.

Not all stress is damaging. Learning how to cope is part of life.
But I believe toxic types of stress can cause many health, behavioral and psychological problems, and this is the root of many adverse societal issues and interactions.

It is easier to build stong children than repair a broken man [ie. society]

I remember that story.
She was Jacob's only daughter.
They agreed to everything Jacob asked for in exchange for Dinah's hand in marriage. His sons took it upon themselves to break that agreement. Their act was unsanctioned albeit, left unpunished.

I know what it means, but i don't do it.

But Im sure you look as you claim you do.

Sure i do. Lol

Ack!!! I second both these ^^ motions!

Atta girl. Ngumiti ka na lang. Mabuti nang masaktan ngayon, kaysa magsisi sa huli. Darating din ang para sa yo, na mamahalin ka nang naaayon sa tama at mabuti.

Masyado mo lang siguro hinayaang mahibang ka sa ideya na binigay nya sa yo.

Glad we were of service

Ok...we are actually a first world country. We like downplaying it a lot. Its part of our self-effacing nature. I take pride in that. Thanks for blowing our cover.

Whatever...you live shuttling yourself between two countries...so what do i know, right?

You have given out your point of view as to the OP's dillema. So has everyone else. And everyone commented on everyone else's opinion.

It's all good.

No. I am not trying to hide the various forms of human trafficking and sexual exploitation that happens here. I dont need to whitewash something that happens in all 3rd world countries. And i dont know why you think that was what i was referring to.

I rest my case. Presumptive, generalized and misrepresented.

Heeheehee...that cat made me laugh...

Ok...lemme get this straight...

The guy is older (assuming much older) but from your description, is of questionable maturity ( cannot accept mistakes, does not apologize when wrong, lies to get what he wants, etc.)

You met him online and he has probably managed to get you to profess some kind of love for him, and he promises to bring you to live with him in his country.

He pays you and your family a visit, checks to see if you are legitimate also and as you presented yourself to him online.

But you are having doubts as to your future happiness with him because of his track record of lying and blaming you for not giving in to what he wants.

Did i get that right?

Ok...well..as long as both of you can be honest with each other and respect each other regardless what happens. If you think he is unaware, then point it out to him. As long as you have realistic expectations regarding him and yourself.

As much as i am aware how "interested" and "integrated" you are with our culture and way of life, and as much as i have seen you defend a few on here, which is appreciated....you have many comments and posts that are also very presumptive , generalized and frankly, misrepresentative. Not all, mind you, but it is there. Your point of view as a frequent expat is valued, but kindly refrain yourself from being the spokesperson of every citizen(especially women) of the philippines. Thank you.

you want to work things out without his cooperation? sounds unrealistic, dont you think?
i think you are investing yourself in a lot of false hope. is that what you want?

so why are you forcing yourself to be with him?

sa isang punto, kung kaya ka nya respetuhin, hinde ka nya dadalhin sa alanganin na sitwasyon, lalo na alam nya na pang-matagalan ang inaasahan mo. sinabi naman na nya na kaibigan lang.

ngayon, kung ikaw ang mag-dadala sa sarili mo sa alanganin na sitwasyon para pagbigyan sya at sarili mo sa isang akala kahit na alam mong wala ka makukuha na katotohanan sa inaasahan mo, hinde na sya yun may pagkukulang dyan. maraming namamatay sa maling akala at lalo na sa maling pag-asa at pag-nanasa.

isipin mo ng maigi...may dala ka pa rin na reputasyon bilang sarili mo at bilang isang Pinay. hinde natin pwede ipagkaila ang lahat ng pangyayari at pananaw na umiiral sa pagitan ng mga kababaihang Pilipina at mga kalalakihang puti. masama man sa pandinig ng iba kung alam nila na ito ang sinasabi ko, at siguradong maraming titira at pupuna, pero yan ay isang katotohanan na alam mo rin.

pero para sa akin, kahit anong lahi ka man, babae ka pa rin. may karangalan ka bilang babae. kung paano mo pangangalagahan ang karangalan na iyan, ikaw lang ang lubos na nakaka-alam.

ayaw kong maghusga, pero ulitin ko, walang problema maging mag-kaibigan kung totoong kaibigan nga lang ang turing nya sa yo. pero alalahanin mo ang sarili mong katayuan at karangalan. kahit anong gawin mo, huwag mong basta-bastang ipamigay ang kinabukasan mo, sa aktwal man pati sa emosyonal. subukan, alamin at siguraduhin mo kung may patutunguhan ang kinabukasan mo bago mo ipagkatiwala ang puso at sarili mo.

i will soon get on it, then

i thought that was Dinah...