I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Big Dave carried his petite bride Sally into the bedroom and set her down gently next to the bed.

Staring deep into her eyes, he removed his trousers and tossed them to her. "Put these on," he commanded.

Puzzled, his bride did as she was told. Clutching the waistband to hold the trousers up, and trying not to trip over the trouserlegs, she asked: "Why did you want me to do this?"

"I want you to understand clearly," said Big Dave, "this is the first and only time you will ever wear the trousers in this relationship."

Sally took off Dave's trousers, then wriggled out of her panties and passed them to him. "Would you put these on, please? she asked.

Big Dave tugged the panties over his feet but, try as he might, he could not get them over his knees. "This is ridiculous," he huffed, "I can't get into your panties."

Smiling sweetly, Sally replied: "No, and you never will until you change your attitude!"

So, I'll write no more like Byron
So late into the night
Though my pen is waiting ready
And the page is clean and white.

Now my brain has turned to sand
And with tears the page is damp
The pen falls from my hand
For I've got writer's cramp.

Though the night was made for writing
In the silence and the still
I'll turn off all the lighting
And save my fuel bill.

When the urge to write poems comes on me
I sit,and my thoughts drift away,
While I stare at a blank sheet of paper
And find that I've nothing to say.