I think it's easy to say the cheater is just a lying asshole. Certainly, that's true in some cases...

I think that most of the time though, like others posted above, there are problems with the relationship:

Lack of sex or sex sucks
Lack of fun
Lack of friendship
Stress at home
Lack of respect for the other person
Other person let's self go and becomes unattractive
Finally -- the couple fails to communicate that there are problems with the relationship

I would bet that most of the time, when there's cheating, it's for these reasons. So, if you don't want to be cheated on, do the following:

-Figure out how to have good sex. Communicate with your partner to see if what your doing is good. Read some books on it or look up new things to do online.
-Make the relationship fun. Try to work out problems, compromise, and be friends.
-Don't be a jerk or stress out your partner all the time.
-Live your life in such a way that your partner respects you. Don't be late for everything, be neat and clean, read, stay in good shape, do well at work, etc.
-Stay in shape, stay shaven, wear a little make up, keep yourself neat and attractive.
-If there are problems, talk about them!

Sometimes it's OUR fault that our partner cheats on us. That's not excusing the cheater, but if we want to have a good relationship and prevent cheating, we need to take responsibility too. Yes, maybe our partner's just an asshole, but maybe certain conditions drove our partner to find someone else.

In this way, we may also be able to forgive our partner for what he or she has done, which is important we're married or have children. Otherwise, break up and find someone else - world has too many people to stay with someone who is fine with breaking your heart.

If you're so worried about your physique, why not exercise? You may do more than your looks a lot of good.

...and for height...well, there's always platform shoes. ;-)

Ah, you're right. I'll word things better next time

Thanks for your response, quiet.

Second answer: Lol, okay. I'll get to that screwin' after finals are done. ;-P

First answer: If you can say you "know it when you feel it," then you should also be able to say that you "know it when you don't feel it."

Well, I know plenty of people who thought they felt it, but it turns out they didn't. Somehow, your first answer just...sounds like a fairytale to me. Not to be rude. =\

Another question:

What is so wrong about wanted to get laid? I know a lot of woman want to have sex as well. It's only natural, isn't it?

From what I remember, when the decision was being made whether to go into Iraq or not, Bush received intelligence from several sources that there were NO WMDs in Iraq.

Also, I don't think Saddam supported terrorist groups. Groups like Al-Qaeda posed a threat to his rule.

I hope more shoe throwing happens. It'd be great if Bush can never leave his house without risking being "shoed."

I took a look on Wikipedia and most studies were either contradictory or needed more work.

I also looked at your source. I'm not sure it's credible at all, and it sounds more like a smear campaign to hurt the soy industry.

With the rise of health food, perhaps the rest of the food industries are feeling threatened? Who knows? Scary isn't it, to have no idea what the truth is, to be at the mercy of people who may have ulterior motives.

Personally, I think soy is fine. It's a bean, and beans tend to be great for the body. Asian peoples have had soy-heavy diets for centuries/millenia and look how healthy and skinny they tend to be. Look how many children there are in China and Japan.

--

Thanks for the video from Dr. Mercola. The guy has put out a book and all this - it sounds sort of commercial.

He says fermented soy is fine, but that doesn't make much sense to me. Usually, when something is fermented, the sugars are converted to something else...I don't know why the fermenting process would destroy "tripsid inhibitors."

This is all really interesting...

I'm not sure I believe this. Please cite some respectable source, e.g. JAMA, NEJM, Medscape, or other medical journals.

The thought that one bean has SO SO SO many bad effects...just sounds strange to me. Possible though, so I am eager to know your sources as I consume a lot of soy products.

Jesus lived in a place where traders came from all over. Scholars think it is most likely that Jesus was Arab or African.

Also, lovemeifyoucan said that Jesus is not Arab, he is Jewish. Well...there are tons of Arab Jews - Judaism is a religion, not a race. Just like there are tons of Arab Christians. (And by the way, when Arab Christians pray...what word do you think they use address God? Allah = God = Dios = Dieu = Dio = 上帝 = 천주 = 神 ...etc.）

Sorry...I'm just tired of people thinking Allah is some sort of pagan moon God. God bless our biased Western media!

Any luck yet?

Drop that guy. I know he'll be on your mind for a while, but that's okay. Just try to do other stuff, keep busy.

Virginity is important, that's true, but the rest of your life is more important. Drop that guy and never look back. And if someone pulls that stuff on you again, drop him like he ain't worth a dime. There are 6 billion people on this planet - there are better guys out there.

I'll give you another piece of advice: When you make someone feel like he or she is what you NEED to survive, like he or she is your ONE and ONLY, usually, you'll scare that person ****less or turn that person off.

When you make those sorts of statements, you're putting the person on a pedestal, and no man or woman deserves being worshiped like that. What's more, you are worth more than that. Live your life - romantic partners are there just to make things interesting, to support you, not to...*complete* you and give your life meaning. Ultimately, you'll be disappointed if your expectations are so high.

My two cents.

boo2u,

On the contrary, I think your perspective is really different from everyone else', and right on the spot.

The mother gave up her right to those children as soon as she endangered their lives with drugs. It's tough to get over an addiction and sometimes pregnancy is accidental. Regardless, the mother is in no state to raise the children.

If we're really trying to get over the race issue, than the child's race is irrelevant. Baby Talon has caring foster parents. As long as the baby can, as far as we can tell, have a good life with the current parents, the mother should have no say. She gave up that right by endangering the baby.

Like boo2u said, it seems like a simple matter to me.

Miss renderedspeechless,

It's glad to hear that some of what I said made sense to you. It makes sense to me, but I was wondering if I am crazy, lol.

But...perhaps you'd be kind enough to clarify what exactly you were referring to when you said, "That would make sense"?


Miss HDPat,
I'm sorry to hear that. I can't begin to understand how you must feel.
Forgive me for sounding pessimistic, but I hope you'll find a ray of light among the rain clouds:

Perhaps, no one on this world is worth the "trust" that marriage asks us to give. I don't know if you live in the US, but upon marrying, half of one's property automatically belongs to the significant other.
To me, this is asking for far too much trust of both parties. When you find another man who you feel worthy of your affection, maybe legal marriage and the sharing of money should not be part of the deal. Of course, when living together, both parties must invest together in a house, food, etc etc. However, if financial assets can by and large always be kept separate, maybe you can find some sense of security in your financial independence.

I wish you luck.

PBug: Separation of church and state, in the US, is largely a myth. Every president to date has been Christian at least. Most politicians are also Christian. Many decisions are heavily influenced by Christianity, as our some of our holidays.

For this reason, I wouldn't say the separation of church and state is obvious at all. In fact, separation of church and state is more the exception than the rule, and the rule is that we are by and large a Christian state.

Here's a couple more examples of issues where religion has played a main role:

Stem-cell research
Abortion laws
Gay rights
The state of Israel and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
...list goes on.

Whenever a government is democratic or has special interest groups, and when the country's people are heavily influenced by religion, it's probable that "separation of church and state" is just not going to happen.

-What does it mean to "give your heart away" to another?

-Can one "give their heart away" to more than one person at a time?
Since this phrase is a figure of speech, that we have only one heart makes no difference. The proverbial "heart" isn't actually our heart - it's just our love.

---
I fell in love with this girl after knowing her for several months. We would spend everyday studying together, talking together, always very close. I think she loved me as well.

In her culture, however, girls often marry their first boyfriend, and girls who are 25 and not married feel *a lot* of pressure to find a guy. We're 20, though, and I do not see myself getting married before 30. For this reason, I never made a move to make our relationship romantic.

Finally, I decided to keep our relationship platonic. As months passed, I came to realize that the way our relationship was, was entirely fulfilling for me, except sexually of course. I also found that I was often attracted to other women and even "fell" for other women. Yet at the same time, I still had this love for this first girl.

I concluded that perhaps the love between friends is the same love between lovers. Maybe the the big difference between a friend and a lover is sexuality, and perhaps the intimacy that sex can bring.

Is it possible that the idea of "giving your heart away" is fairytale business? Maybe, the proverbial "heart" is always ours to love with, but never ours to "give away." If so, we are never restricted to love just one person. This restriction would be artificial, imposed by societal norms and culture, and due to other factors like simplicity or gender equality (maybe it's simpler legally and logistically to have one wife, and polygamy is sometimes unfair towards women).

I suppose the final question is - is love what we've been told it is as we grew up? Something singular (in the sense that we can only *truly* give all our romantic love to one person), eternal, and pure? Rather, I would offer that love is not singular, love is as imperfect as we humans are imperfect, and that romantic love is nothing but platonic love + sexual attraction.

Well, I apologize for the length. I'm interested in any thoughts you guys may have. ;-)

Jesus was an Arab and a Socialist.

http://tenpercent.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/b_che.jpg

Merry Christmas, Che Christ!

Well, the number of adults I know who have "grown up" are very few. I think I could count them on one hand. By and large, from my limited experience, most people don't become more mature, just...more experienced. Different things.


So, why does being an asshole make someone less of a person then those who he hurt? Why is that necessarily true?

Also, OneMoreTimeAround's post - I do wonder if you are expecting too much from adults and not enough from children.
A child, after all, is the root of an adult. How can we expect so much from an adult when we do not expect so much from a child.

Some may answer, ah, but we expect a lot from our children. I'd ask of you, how many of your children knew how to read by age three? Knew some algebra by five? Had read many important English poems and literature by the age of six, and had already been working on a second language by the same age?

Children are faster learners than adults and can understand and deal with difficult and painful social and emotional problems nearly like adults. We accuse them of being "just children," when they are much more than that; they are much more than we will ever be.

What about happy Ramadan? ;-P