The question is "what really is falling in love?" There is a difference
between "in love" and "love". In love has to do with all the physical
emotions that one experience when there is attraction for another. It is
all the things whisper said and more. "Love" supercedes "In love" in
that in involves all the logical attributes of what, why, and how the
one loved complements your life. In other words what he/she means to
you.
So one should never make life altering decisions based on the "in love"
characteristics but wait to see if love exist. You can be so physically
attracted to someone one day and hate him/she the next. Thats because
love never was borned.

Whisper you seem to need a lot of advice. I just posted one to you on
another page. You should never, ever share anything about your man, men
or potential with another female. It is a no-no. The Internet is not
fool-proof. There are many of us who are here for entertainment. Get me?

Be careful, I just ended a discussion about men who started relationship
on lies and what happened to them by the women they hurt. Take your time
and find all you can before you do something you can never undo. Follow
your gut instinct. Dont be too trusting. And if you take a chance
against your better judgement, dont blame the man if you made a mistake.

No I am not. It is a wonderful feeling to be in love and be loved. If
you found love once you can find it again. It is an awsome experience.

I have been approached by a young man 13 years younger than I. I dont
think younger men are embarrassed to date older women. Age doesnt
matter. If she has a nice body it doesnt matter how old. Most of my
dates were younger men because they never could tell my age. I am in my
40s. Could you tell

Slowtogetit, I am not frying all men in my exs' fat. I did say in one of
my postings that everyone deserves a fair chance. I am not giving up on
men. I am only gearing up for the liars, lol.

Boynxdr, there is cheating everywhere. Yes I am a nurse and I work in a
hospital. If you read my earlier posts you would see where I talk about
a doctor who lied to me and you would see where another had to restart
his residency program. But remember I am not concentrating on the broad
subject of cheating. And I am sorry that you too were hurt by lies. You
sound like a good man. Take care.

OnAlark, I am hardly defeated. And thanks for your support. But I think
they all understand what I am saying and they know that what I am saying
is true. I want someone to talk me out of not turning the next lying man
that comes my way inside out like pig's chittling (am I spelling this
right? I dont even eat pork, lol). I am just warning men of our
potential. If they want to do the same to lying women, then more power
to them. Either way it is wrong and they need to stop.

Boynxdr, it hurts to cheat. I do not disagree. But you do not get my
point. This discussion is not about cheating but about men who pursue
women with lies. For example: I met my daughter's father who after we
exchanged numbers wooed me relentlessly. We spent a lot of time
together. I met his friends and he proposed to me. Only he was living 2
lives. He got married 2 months after we met and both his wife and I were
pregnant at the same time. I found out about his marriage 3 months after
I gave birth. The relationship started with lies. He did not just
"cheat" he was living 2 lives. There is a difference. There really is a
difference. Had I known the truth about this man, I would not have
continued to see him and my life would be different. I love my child to
death but he made choices for me. There is reprecussion to his deeds and
he is very unhappy right now.

I am saying Goodbye, nice talking to you all. By the way the men I had
my encounters with both say they have changed how they relate to women.
Treat others the way you would like to be treated. It is the mature and
responsible thing to do.

Listen up you all, I am not talking about cheating. I am talking about
getting a woman to love you to be in a relationship with you by
mirepresenting who you are. I am against building a relationship on
lies. Cheating happens and two people can work things through. But when
it began with lies and continues with lies, thats what I am talking
about. Get me?

Boynxdr, who cares why the woman did what she did? Two wrongs do not
make it right but tell that to a woman who ended up with a child by a
married man who lied every step of the way. Me! A man takes a risk of
getting crap happen to him when he messes with a woman's mind, heart and
her life. I have a child to raise alone because her dad cared only about
what he was getting and however he would get what he wanted from me. I
sued him for child support, he threatened to kill me bec he did not want
to pay support. He is convicted of a felony, Therroristic Threats and
is on probation for 18 months and now he cant come near me or the child
and he has to pay child support for a long, long time. I tell him to
stay away and he better or he will have to deal with me and my Jamaican
brothers. I say it again, dont play with a woman's heart.

Generation of brainwashing! I dont suppose God made one couple in the
Garden of Eden.

Slick, I am not interested in those guys. I am not immune to their
approaches and advances. I do like exciting and adventurous men. I get
bored easily. But I steer clear of men who are mysterious. The men that
hurt me say that once they met me and interact with me they want more
and knowing that I will turn them away if I know the truth, they lied.
Once they get a taste of me they cant resist. Thats not my fault. I am
exciting, educated, and ambitious. I hold my own. I have learnt my
lesson and now I want others to know that I was hurt to the point of
contemplating murder. I thank God I was not stupid. But others may not
be able to resist the pressure and devastion of a broken heart from a
man who plays games. I just wonder if taking that risk is worth it.

Slick, I think I understand where you are coming from now. So you agree
that the playing game is dangerous. People on both sides can get hurt or
be killed. But as long as people are naive to the dangers that exist
when building a relationship on lies, there will always be players. It
is sad what selfishness can do.

So Chismah, are you saying that guys who dont get a fair chance will
play games to get a female interested? What do you mean?

Chismah, I guess patience and endurance. Dont give up.

Slick, I think I know why you are so defensive. Were you a player who
got burned? And if you were, did you think you deserve what you got?
Only asking?

OnAlark, I know you relate. I am only trying to let men see that from a
woman's point of view selfishly playing with a woman's emotion can be
dangerous. When a man is thinking of his next joy ride, he has no idea
how calculating a woman can be. Women can destroy a man's world. There
are those who go the extreme, but I know another doctor who was ejected
from his Residency program when his wife caught him with a patient's
relative. It is not worth it. Then there is the pain and hurt. Affecting
a person's emotion is affecting the MIND. When you mess with the mind
you change that person's whole life. What they think and do from there
on is mainly for survival. A person will do whatever they have to do to
get through the pain and often their though process is irrational. But a
woman will do anything to gain her self-respect back, even if what she
does is wrong. Thats my point.

Slick, I never said my friend lied. She is a court reporter who used her
connections to inform the right people to get him convicted. He is now
charged with Insurance Fraud, a felony. She turned him in because he
deceived her. A cheat and player should not leave his shoes outside the
door.