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You will know intuitively if this is just a nice meet and greet and a date shortly. (Dang, I feel like a freakin' Chinese fortune cookie!!!  ) lol ok i'll believe your fortune then, i'm really inexperienced...never even had an actual boyfriend...that's why i have no idea what is going on.. |
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The "kiss" usually lets me know. Seriousy!!! so if you don't kiss it's not a date ? |
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I wouldnt label it anything at this point, so just go out and have a fun time!  hm..that's true..maybe i shouldn't label it...it's just that i dont want him to pay for my part again like last time..so i thought maybe the clarification decides wether it's appropriate for me to pay for my own part |
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Dont ask a guy anything on a date, he will just find some way to use it to his advantage. <cough> Be an island, make him work at the conversation and you will soon detect his intentions and his ideas. You seem like a nice girl. Just relax and dont give it up on this date. My two-cents. Don't ask him anything? so I should jsut sit there and answer whatever he asks? lol jk...I can't even bring up this kind of talk on the phone anyway..so i probably wouldn't be able to bring it up in person |
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Edited by
yve726
on
Tue 01/20/09 07:01 PM
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wow congrads on meeting twice, I would ask him before we met up was it a date or was this just another meeting. Cause if you meet again he may be thinking whoohoo time  LOL i've been talking to him ALOT,almost every night for a month now. but becuase i'm so new to this whole dating thing....I'm just not sure what to expect or how to even bring up this kind of conversation.. The first time we met, he insisted on paying for everything..even though i said I'd pay for myself...i just thought if we were just "hanging out", or even if it was a "date", i still should pay for my own b/c i dont want him to think im taking advantage of him |
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I'm meeting up with this guy for the second time soon, and while I am not sure the importance of the clarification, I am just wondering how you are supposed to define whether it is a date or not? do they really mean different things? Does it really matter??
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Topic:
Are we just friends?
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I would only hope that you watch your motivation. Your entire profile states you are only here to get over someone else. Do not lead this man on either. It wouldn't be fair. There is nothing wrong with friendship especially while you are healing...in fact, it is the responsible thing to do in my opinion. If there is more to be explored with him it will become obvious. There is no rush ... imo yeah i know wat you mean, my profile is kinda outdated...i've really moved on....and i'm not using him or leading him on...thanks for reminding me though! =) |
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Topic:
Are we just friends?
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Why are you rushing things? Maybe he's just trying to get to know you first. That's why so many relationships end quickly because people are in such a rush to "make them happen." Either it will happen or it won't. Trust me, the best way to get rid of a guy, as either a friend or a potential boyfriend is to rush into things and start pushing for a relationship. That scares guys. So if I were you, I'd just keep talking to him, and like daydreamer said, just enjoy it while it lasts and try not to read too much into it. Take it one day at a time. Nothing lasts forever anyway, so you might as well have fun while it lasts. Best of luck.  mm thats true...maybe i am rushing things...lol i've always been known for not having patience...ok..i guess i'm gonna try to just have fun with him for now!! patience patience patience! thanks! |
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Topic:
Are we just friends?
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You met him on the site? This site? If so, the conversation explaining this thread might be a little more awkward than the conversation you are asking about... haha nah..i didn't meet him on this site..i purposely use this forum though, so that he'd wouldn't know how i feel =p |
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Topic:
Are we just friends?
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yeah...actually..as much as most of the ppl replied to my post suggested me to "just ask him," i am more leaning towards not asking him...i dont want to take the "initiative" and risk ruining things... it's just that i'm really afraid of getting hurt in the end..so part of me tells myself to pull away from him before it's too late.. Why should he be willing to put it on the line if you aren't as willing? While i don't suggest driving him over, in a truck with a bummer sticker saying "LOVE ME 4EVER", i do suggest it's time to find out the answer. You have already decided you would like to pursue this to some degree, so why not pursue it? Let's play the odds, you gamble- Worst case scenario - he gets uncomfortable and ends any relationship you had. Well to be honest if you start pushing him away that's the end result anyway. Best case scenario - you are happy FOREVER. Games are overrated. Opportunities lost while people try to read other peoples minds.. don't lose yours. Just another point of view to consider. Best of luck It's the man's responsibility to make the moves. If she makes the first move, it'll mean she is in the lead. She doesn't want to be the man in the relationship for the rest of her life. I've actually taken MANY initiatives in the past with other guys...and it never have a good turnout... so while i dont think it's necessarily a man's "responsibility" to make the move...I'm really starting to doubt if it's a bad thing for a girl to make the first move.. |
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Topic:
Are we just friends?
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I wouldn't ask just yet... if you enjoy his company just give it time don't let yourself get too wrapped up in it and take it for what it is you will get a sense of it if he has feelings for you and right now his actions are speaking louder than words. jmho. yeah...actually..as much as most of the ppl replied to my post suggested me to "just ask him," i am more leaning towards not asking him...i dont want to take the "initiative" and risk ruining things... it's just that i'm really afraid of getting hurt in the end..so part of me tells myself to pull away from him before it's too late.. |
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Topic:
Are we just friends?
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Asking him explicitly is going to ruin everything. If he isn't going to make a move in a week, you need to pull away from him to see what he'll do. how do I pull away from him? like not answer his calls? |
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Topic:
Are we just friends?
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Not enough information. Don't ask him. It'll ruin everything. that's what i am afraid of...."ruining" everything...even though I am not sure what's there to ruin.. I don't know how it's like to really like a person..in the past i always felt sort of nervous talking to the guys i liked...but with him, it's just so comfortable i feel like i'm talking to a good friend..so idk... |
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Topic:
Are we just friends?
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at one point i was really close to asking him.."why do you call me every night"..
but i didn't becuase i didn't want to "ruin" things... |
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Topic:
Are we just friends?
Edited by
yve726
on
Mon 01/12/09 10:37 PM
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I'm not really experienced with dating...and have never been a fan of online dating either...but I met this guy on the site...talked on the phone every night for about 2 weeks, and met up about a week ago...had lunch and then watched a movie...everything went pretty smoothly, and naturally....We're still talking on the phone a lot..he'd call me almost every night...and most of the time we have random conversations just about anything...
Now, I'm not sure if he's just talking to me so much because he's bored...or if he's interested in me...I really dont know..at the same time, i dont know if i have feelings for him either..i know i really like him and am really comfortable with him as a friend, at least.. My question is..are we just gonna be friends? I don't want to be on the phone with him every night if we're just going to be friends..becuase I know eventually i'd be more attached to him if i talk to him that much..what should I do? should i just continue talking to him, without know what he wants and just let things be? |
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Topic:
I just got home!
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Ok the next time the correct answer to the "so there's no one at your place now?" is- 150lb Female Roc that loves biting men in the balls- or my favorite.. nothing but my full collection of tazer guns. either one will work  But still glad it worked out well for you.. now i just have to find people in Washington that actually are active on this site  haha thats funny.. well i actually didnt not meet him on this site exactly...i met him on a similar website..i posted on this site b/c i know he doesn't have an account here lol |
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Topic:
I just got home!
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Wow!!! You DID it!!! You go, girl!!! I'm so glad you took the opportunity and that it went so well!!!!  SKPCG, thanks so much for your support! you were definitely one of the ppl here that really got me to make up my mind! =) Yah!!!! Cuz lord knows that SKPCG and I have been taken by skanks!!!!Huh SKPCG???? But.....I'm glad you gave this guy a chance and you're taking it slow. He may have picked you up at your place....but I'm glad you're taking it slow and were able to not feel pressured into him making you feel like he should come in when he brought you home. That shows a "gentlemen" to me!!!! Yeah actually i was slightly worried about whether I was supposed to ask him to come in and stuff...and I THINK he kinda hinted it...when we were leaving the theater he asked "so theere's no one at your place now?" i said no and just changed the topic..and he never said anything about it again...he just hugged me and told me he had fun and will call me tonite..stuff like that..so i felt relieved =) |
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Topic:
I just got home!
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Wow!!! You DID it!!! You go, girl!!! I'm so glad you took the opportunity and that it went so well!!!! SKPCG, thanks so much for your support! you were definitely one of the ppl here that really got me to make up my mind! =) |
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Topic:
I just got home!
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Glad you did it... Now get out and do it again.. It gets better each time. Haha yeah...i did come to realize that I'm not really a big fan of dating though, at least not online dating for now...it's tiring to have to tell my entire life story all over again...not to mention that this is totally nerve-wrecking! |
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Topic:
I just got home!
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so like I was saying in my other post yesterday, I had finally decided to meet with this guy, despite my nervousness and lack of confidence.
Well, we met up today. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it was gonna be, it actually went pretty well (i think)...He came to my place to pick me up (getting into a stranger's car was a little be scary though lol) and then we went to grab some lunch...after that, we went to watch a movie and he drove me back. I was really worried about the saying goodbye part..like..I am not sure what I am supposed to do...so we hugged and said bye..he said he'll call me and that we should hang out again. It is too early to tell if there is any "sparks" but i definitely feel really comfortable with him, as least on a friends level... I'm glad i decided to meet up with him and thanks to all of those who gave me support and advice on here!!! |
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