For what it's worth, low 70s and 60s would have gotten her booted out of my school. I was kicked out for insufficient course load. My grades were fine - we had to maintain a minimum GPA of 2.0. If her grades are that low, her GPA could be 1.5 or less. So it sounds to me as if she is likely facing some kind of academic disciplinary action. Some schools will even withdraw financial aid, in addition to academic probation, if the minimum GPA is not met. All this means she is likely considering dropping out of school to pursue another path. Her family may not even give her a choice in the matter. Hence she probably thinks the relationship can't survive based on these things. The more I learn, the more I believe this is not about you within her own mind. You are just a victim of circumstances.

What you do is up to you. You're there, we're not. Ultimately, you have make your own decision regardless of anything we might tell you. In this case, my gut tells me I'm on the right track as far as what is going on, but there's still a lot of room for error. I can't tell you how to deal with the situation. I can only try to set you on the path to understanding what is happening.

This is part of the problem with being so far removed from the events and hearing only one half of the situation. Sometimes we can't appraise the situation properly, and then what we say next may run counter to what we previously said as new information comes to light.



Funny thing is her reply is in-line with something I had been wondering about based on something else you mentioned...

I wondered if she was thinking about leaving school, either because of poor grades or disciplinary action or even some kind of family situation. If what she texted is true, then she may be rather depressed right now and unsure of herself.

This actually fits in with the "my life is boring" routine. Sometimes when life has you down and you feel trapped, you want to make a big change - be it in scenery, friends, or lifestyle. In other words, you want a fresh start. Problem is, if the problem is within, then it will follow no matter what changes are made. That's when one has to buckle down, and face the problem rather than running from it.

It also fits that she would text you rather than call. If she's feeling lost and depressed, then she is going to take the cowardly route because she doesn't know what else to do.

For what it's worth, I've been through everything I have just described, including being booted out of college. I was absolutely miserable, knowing my expulsion was inevitable (I could get textbooks for one of my classes, and I was struggling in two other classes). It took me months to prepare myself mentally for dealing with real world and facing my parents. I was very reclusive, and had one of my worst drinking binges ever (it was the only time my stomach has ever been pumped). It can be very rough because you just feel helpless, like your swimming against the tide.

So, I'm not sure this is over yet. I think she has more to tell you, but doesn't know how. "Before there are more feelings hurt..." I think is in reference to her own feelings, not yours. If I am right, then she has been so absorbed with her problems that she is numb to most everything else at the moment. So to end it now allows her to burn the bridge without having to pour out all her worries and fears to you, which at this point would be much more painful than losing you. What I mean is, one she admits everything, then she also has to confront everything she's done to lead up to this....and that scares her. It scares her more than the thought of losing you. It's another way to avoid dealing with her problems....another way to move on, to make a change, to runaway and forget.

Granted, I could be wrong. I've also been known to read some people like a book. That's because I been through exactly what the other person is experiencing. And if she's about to leave school for reasons she can no longer control, then I've been exactly where she's at.

Just my additional 2 cents....and food for thought.

It really is best to let the relationship kinda do its thing, both the ups and the downs.




If you really like someone, then instead of trying to imagine what they are thinking, just focus on what YOU are thinking.

If you are thinking, hmm if she had a bad day I wonder what would make it better . . . you rent a funny movie and head on over . . . or you call up, ask if she is hungry, she says yes you say, Chinese? and then grab some take out and head on over.

I find those kinds of things to be FAR better then the . . . "hey I am here for you" sentimental crap.

As men we always here about the romantic stuff (women talking to other women about men ect) . . but its a 90/10 kinda thing. 90% of the time women are extremely practical, and its best for you to be practical as well. Its the 10% that you show up with flowers, or toss out a line of poetry, or talk about emotions.

Most of the time when they have had a bad day, they just want to veg out like the rest of us . . . and sometimes that means no one texting them about there day . . .

Face it squarely and ask if anything's wrong. And texting everyday get tedious keeping up with it.

possible, but as difficult as it may be I'd say chill. Wait a couple days to text, preferably call - tell her u have something on ur mind & you wanna talk

maybe get an idea during that talk of where she is - is she playing hte field ? meaning she dates multiple men and so might not want to consider exclusive now - I would just keep the talk light - don't talk "exclusive" until you get better signs from her....unless she brings it up

she was pretty much dissing u on movie night

but lose the idea that u did anything to FK it up - sometimes thes things just happen


hopefully a talk with her will let you know - if u have been friend zoned, or if she is dating other people (in which case u need to also)

Hi MrDolla,

I'm new and read your post from beginning to end. I can truly relate to what you're going through as I am going through a very simular situation...trust me...it is all too familiar!

I'm still not sure why you think it's YOU who messed things up and I'm really not trying to sound negative but could it be that she was not telling you the whole story as to why she targeted you?

I mean really, maybe she is/was on the rebound and needed someone to fill the void. Have you two ever discussed this?
Maybe, her prior interest has resurfaced.

I know that sounds kinda harsh but it happens all the time! What I'm trying to say is don't always assume that it's YOU who did something wrong. I thought your tactics were very sweet and enduring! You really sound like a good guy! Heck, if you were a lesbian I would date you lol!

But really, I truly feel what you are going through in your head and heart because as I said, I'm going through something simular, however, I KNOW that I didn't do anything to make her want to put on the brakes.

So don't beat yourself up, you were/are great!

Blessings!

i think she is an alien and she is trying to get you close to her so she can steal your intelligence

Wait wait wait. dont tell me you are still beating around the bush on these issue,